Caption Contest 24: T&A TV

[Triskelion]

Well put a fork in that can of worms and give me a hundred nude jumping jacks! Yet another successful run by a great group of captioners, one and all!

Give yourselves a round of applause!

<Ooooh Aaaaah Murmur Murmur Murmur>

And now:
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First Image:

Phlox:" Don't worry, its self lubricating and warms up as it goes in"
MALCOLM:"Huh?"

Second Image:

HOSHI:"They look like worms."

T'POL:"That reminds me. Commander Tucker is due for his next series of shots and innoculations in sickbay."

Third Image:

Hoshi thinking: "He is sitting on my hand."
Malcolm thinking: "She has her hand on my ass."
"T'Pol thinking: "Fascinating."

Photoshop Award:

Truly a tough call, we had some great ones and a rather disturbing image of a superfluous nipple I will never forget...

This winner was a photoshop started by Starpaul20 and embellished by Nerys Myk (of course!), but the winning caption came from a very special poster who I have been hoping to award for a very long time now, the incredible, hilarious, brilliant, superlatively blue Shatmandu:

Phlox: "Oh, I've assisted the Gorn doctor on hundreds of vasectomies."
Reed, nodding toward Alexander: "And him?"
Phlox: "Never seen him before in my life. Shall we begin?"

I'm sure I speak on behalf of many when I say, don't ever change, Shatmandu!

And as if that wasn't enough, there was another classic Photoshop by Nerys Myk:

CROSSOVER CAPTION

REED: That Vulcan's checking out my butt.

KIRK: That Vulcan's checking out my butt.

And finally, a MultiCap Award especially for:

Reed: "Doc, why does that thermometer taste so bad?"
Phlox: "I'm sorry. It seems that I forgot to replace the protective cover after using it as a probe."

Hoshi thinking: (Darn. He caught me looking.)
T'Pol: "Mr. Reed. It is appropriate to wear shorts in the decon chamber."

T'Pol: "What are they saying?"
Hoshi: "They are worms. I don't think they are saying anything."
T'Pol: "If you are not capable of communicating with other species then why are you here?"
Hoshi: "Wait. I'm starting to understand them. Yes. I GOT IT. They want to know if the bitch with the pointy ears has a stick up her ass."

Congratulations winners!
For their Prize, each of our winners will get..........

Assimilated! Yay!


Each of our captioners will be taking home:

An "Are You Smartur Than a 5th Grader" Home Game!

And..........a hunky poster of Scott Bakula with full frontal nudity!

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<ahem> Our next contest:

Taken from the lovely "Valentine to the Fans" TATV, better known as the swan song These Are The Voyages:

_____________________________________________
Erm...make it so?

 

[Shatmandu]

Hey, thanks for the nice win and the nice words. I appreciate that.

Troi: "I like it better when we swing with a holographic Worf, but sure, what the Hell."

Tucker: "They're about this big."
Haerband: "Each?"
Tucker: "Almost. T'Pol's skinny, too."

Troi: "Too bad the holodeck can't help you suck in that gut."
Riker: "Or help you with those extra chins."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Troi: He's no James T. Kirk in bed.
Riker: Is that... ah, what?

Alien: Your Shatner impression won't save you now, earthling.

Troi: I'm sensing an unwanted sexual violation of Star Trek fans.
Riker: Now that's what I call a valentine!

 

[Rat Boy]

Troi: "But he has hair! How can he be captain of the Enterprise if he has hair?"

Tucker: "Don't look at me; I didn't write this piece of shit."

Riker enjoyed playing with the gravity settings in the holodeck, and frankly so do the rest of us.

 

[Shatmandu]

Troi: "So your new holodeck girdle will work ..."
Riker: "... I just have to turn off the safety protocols."

Troi: "No better way to spend a day off than double-teaming Tasha Yar."
<Riker makes V-shape with fingers; licks between them.>
Troi: "Oh, you."

 

[SFRabid]

Riker: "First Commander Tucker. Then Officer Reed. Now Captain Archer. Why are you spending so much time with holodeck recreations of the original Enterprise?"
Troi: "We were just discussing how men in their time worked out to stay fit, and how that helped them to obtain positions, I mean, ... rank, and how their incredible stamina ... uh ... helped when exploring new conquest, WORLDS. I mean exploring new worlds. ... Dam'it Riker, that door was supposed to be locked. And if you would work out sometimes I would not be here chasing holographic men with strong arms, flat stomachs, and jumpsuits that unzip aaallllll the way down. GET OUT!"
Riker: "Fine. I'm going back to holodeck 2 so I can "interview" T'Pol again."

Stage Security: "You are required on the set. NOW!"
Connor: "Please. Don't make me go. Have you seen the script?"

Riker thinking: (I'm going to get lucky.)
Troy thinking: (How do I get out of this?)

 

[Nerys Myk]

SIRTIS: Check the schedule Bakula! We're supposed to be here!

TUCKER: I've got a bad feeling about this.

FRAKES: Now lets go screw with the DS9 fans.

SIRTIS: I was hoping for Voyager.

FRAKES: Nah, they have enough problems.

 

[Rat Boy]

Troi: "My eyes are up here, Commander Chubby."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Troi: Well, that was completely and utterly pointless.
Riker: Yes. Yes it was. But fun to screw with people who have emotionally invested themselves in Archer's crew.
Troi: Yeah, let's do it again!

Riker: Computer, begin program "Two Girls, One Cup."
Troi: Oh, you know me so well, Will.

 

[Noname Given]

Sirtis: "Umm, that's 'Marina Sirtis'; not 'Talentless Hack'. Haven't you even seen an episode of 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' with me in it?"

Frakes: "Actually, by that comment, I'd say: Yes, he has."

 

[Alrik]

Riker: "Nice boob job."

Trio: "You likey?"

 

[Alrik]

Connor: "Just cuz I said the only way I would shoot this piece of crap was at gun point, didn't mean I was serious. Jeez."

 

[Shatmandu]

Frakes: "The camera adds ten pounds."
Sirtis: "So does putting gravy on your pizza."

 

[cooleddie74]

TROI:"He always seemed so less...poorly written...in my old high school history classes."

TRIP:"Look, if I'm gonna die like a complete spastic idiot...can I at least check and make sure I have clean skivvies on first?"

RIKER:"Wow. That blew chunks."

TROI:"I think I'm going to go take a long, hot shower.

For about a week."

 

[SFRabid]

RIKER: "Why gives you the right to run my personnel holodeck programs?"
Troy: "Why is your Archer not wearing pants?"

TRIP: "A wrath on Enterprise!?"

RIKER: "What do you want to do this evening?"
TROY: "Let's rewrite history and see if anyone believes it."

 

[cooleddie74]

RIKER:"What are you staring at?"

TROI:"His forehead. History always said he had bangs. I guess history was wrong."

"Go ahead...kill my ass!!

You'll be doing me a FAVOR!!!"

TROI:"Like what you see?"

RIKER:"Yes. But I usually love what I SUCK."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Listen...if you want to kill the people responsible for this awful mess I don't KNOW where the writers are right now!!!!"

 

[Alrik]

Bakula: "So let me get this straight. We're ending my series by bringing in two characters from the hey day of the franchise ratings wise, and that everything that is happening in this episode is a holodeck recreation of events that take place ten years after our last episode, but this is all actually supposed to be happening in the middle of one of your episodes?"

Sirtis: "Yep. Pretty much."

Bakula: "And they're calling it a Valentine to the fans?"

Frakes: "I know. Kind of more like a Fuck You, isn't it."

Bakula: "I shoulda' stuck with Quantum Leap."

Trip: "Look man, I didn't know she was your wife. Really."

Sirtis: "Do you believe they paid us to do that?"

Frakes: "Always good to go back to the well one more time."

 

[cooleddie74]

TROI:"He's cute."

RIKER:"Be glad I didn't active the program's oversized-phallus subroutine. I'd NEVER get your horny ass out of here."

"She wasn't 18 yet?!?

UH-OH.

I...I got tricked!!!"

TROI:"Well. THAT was a waste of several hours we could have used more productively."

RIKER:"I told you, Deanna. I wasn't in the mood to look at your mother's family photo album."

 

[Alrik]

Sirtis: "And you thought Nemesis was a train wreck."

Frakes: "But the good news is, I didn't direct either one of these steaming piles of crap, so I'm in the clear."