Bullying In Society

[FordSVT]

When I was in high school I had several run-ins with this moron who took exception to having to attend the same school with a kid in a wheelchair. He and two of his friends decided to make my life a living hell. At first, I just tried to ignore them, but after a while, their behavior started to grate on me. One day, they decided they were gonna slap me around, and when they tried, they were surprised when I fought back. The instigator tried to punch me in the face, but, sitting down, I was able to duck that with no trouble, and when was regaining his balance in mid-swing, I slammed into him with my wheelchair. The impact wasn't too powerful, but it did knock him down. One of his buddies was surprised I was able to defend myself, and at the same time, decided to switch sides, and he ended up helping me chase his friends off. The other two never bullied me again, and he and I were friends for several years after that.

In my high school, there was some bullying, but even the bullies left physically and mentally challenged kids alone. I once saw one of the biggest assholes in school beat the crap out of someone else who tossed his drink at a classmate of mine that had Downs, didn't even know him.

 

[Captain_Nick]

Bullying people on the roads is totally awesome. I encourage you all to try it, it makes driving so much more exciting.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Sadly- and I say sadly because I'm most definitely not of the "hit back" opinion, in fact I'm dead against it- a lot of us have this experience.

So, what you're saying is, it's sad that I didn't take a beating, NOT that I was bullied? Because he way you worded it, that's how it sounds.

He means it's sad that people who would rather not fight at all are forced into defending themselves.

Exactly. Thanks.

RandyS: Sorry if I was unclear. I meant it's sad that the only way to get them off your back was to fight them off with violence- and I find it especially sad that many people's experiences, my own included, match yours in this regard. I say it's "sad" because for those of us opposed to violence, we have to choose whether to stick to that ideal or occasionally violate it to protect ourselves. And, logically, most of us choose to protect ourselves, because extremist pacifism is, like pretty much all extremist attitudes, a bad idea. I doubt anyone would hold it against someone when they used violence in defence. That's not the sign of someone who embraces violence, only of someone logically prepared to defend themselves. But justifiable violence is still violence, and if anything it's a lot more bitter to those of us who swear off violence when it is justified.

I'm certainly not saying you should feel bad about defending yourself - I mean that it's sad you had to. It's sad that it works.

 

[KimMH]

In my high school, there was some bullying, but even the bullies left physically and mentally challenged kids alone. I once saw one of the biggest assholes in school beat the crap out of someone else who tossed his drink at a classmate of mine that had Downs, didn't even know him.

Asshole indicated above may not have resolved the situation the best way but it seems his/her heart may not have been totally scabbed over with indifference. Nice to think everyone has their redeeming qualities.

 

[RandyS]

So, what you're saying is, it's sad that I didn't take a beating, NOT that I was bullied? Because he way you worded it, that's how it sounds.

He means it's sad that people who would rather not fight at all are forced into defending themselves.

Exactly. Thanks.

RandyS: Sorry if I was unclear. I meant it's sad that the only way to get them off your back was to fight them off with violence- and I find it especially sad that many people's experiences, my own included, match yours in this regard. I say it's "sad" because for those of us opposed to violence, we have to choose whether to stick to that ideal or occasionally violate it to protect ourselves. And, logically, most of us choose to protect ourselves, because extremist pacifism is, like pretty much all extremist attitudes, a bad idea. I doubt anyone would hold it against someone when they used violence in defence. That's not the sign of someone who embraces violence, only of someone logically prepared to defend themselves. But justifiable violence is still violence, and if anything it's a lot more bitter to those of us who swear off violence when it is justified.

I'm certainly not saying you should feel bad about defending yourself - I mean that it's sad you had to. It's sad that it works.

Agreed. I don't go looking for fights, but I won't back off from one and let myself get treated like a doormat either.

I'm curious though, does this stance make me a pacifist, or a fighter? There's got to be an in-between.

 

[shivkala]

The New York Times had a good editorial on stopping bullying here.

I especially liked this part:

But our research on child development makes it clear that there is only one way to truly combat bullying. As an essential part of the school curriculum, we have to teach children how to be good to one another, how to cooperate, how to defend someone who is being picked on and how to stand up for what is right.

To do this, teachers and administrators must first be trained to recognize just how complex children’s social interactions really are. Yes, some conflict is a normal part of growing up, and plenty of friendly, responsible children dabble in mean behavior. For these children, a little guidance can go a long way. That is why the noted teacher and author Vivian Paley once made a rule that her students couldn’t exclude anyone from their play. It took a lot of effort to make it work, but it had a powerful impact on everyone.

 

[RJDiogenes]

^^ They're right. Ultimately the only way to stop bullying is to "immunize" kids against becoming bullies.

Agreed. I don't go looking for fights, but I won't back off from one and let myself get treated like a doormat either.

I'm curious though, does this stance make me a pacifist, or a fighter? There's got to be an in-between.

It makes you a pacifist. Being a pacifist doesn't preclude defending yourself or others.

Did you ever watch Kung Fu? Caine was the most peaceful man in the world, but he could kick somebody's ass across the room and back if it came to that.