Bullying In Society

[Deranged Nasat]

When I was in high school I had several run-ins with this moron who took exception to having to attend the same school with a kid in a wheelchair. He and two of his friends decided to make my life a living hell. At first, I just tried to ignore them, but after a while, their behavior started to grate on me. One day, they decided they were gonna slap me around, and when they tried, they were surprised when I fought back. The instigator tried to punch me in the face, but, sitting down, I was able to duck that with no trouble, and when was regaining his balance in mid-swing, I slammed into him with my wheelchair. The impact wasn't too powerful, but it did knock him down. One of his buddies was surprised I was able to defend myself, and at the same time, decided to switch sides, and he ended up helping me chase his friends off. The other two never bullied me again, and he and I were friends for several years after that.

Sadly- and I say sadly because I'm most definitely not of the "hit back" opinion, in fact I'm dead against it- a lot of us have this experience. It's often the case that a response like that gets them off your back. In some cases, at least. The one and only act of violence in my life so far (and I mean, only- I've never had any sort of aggressive instinct (on-line sink-my-teeth-in-arguments are a different sort of aggression ) came when I finally snapped against a bully. I was bullied, in multiple ways, quite severely throughout school. Add to that some other things that were going on, and eventually I couldn't take it anymore. I went crazy and pummelled one classmate who regularly bullied me with my fists. He never came near me again, and in fact treated me well after that. I ran into him a few years after school ended (a year ago, specifically), and he was a changed guy. He seems to have a lot of respect for me. Mostly that's my general attitude of live-and-let live and "I don't blame you" but I have to sadly admit that the attack obviously played a large part. I can only hope he was more respectful of my desire for peace and connection even now, and my refusal to hate him, than he was my fighting. It could have been leaning towards either, the way I read him...

Either way, I've never been able to forgive myself for the violence. Still, I'm more angry at the fact that it was needed to get him off my back than I am for using it. There's more fault to be found with other people than myself, in this case.

Well, the sensible pacifist knows that there are times when, sadly, the greater good (even if it's just your own greater good) necessitates violence. In fact, sometimes you can get the best of both worlds- people will respect you for your generally non-aggressive, friendly attitude a lot more when you show that on occasion you will deviate a bit.

 

[SicOne]

The smartest thing to do is to avoid arguments and fights all together if you can. Focus on the positive and ignore the idiots. Don't let negative comments effect you. And if they want to get up in your face and fight... there is a smarter way to deal with them instead of punching them in the head. Sure, there is self defense, but there is also common sense (using tactics of peace and cooperation), too.

If that fails, you can always find out where they live and immolate them in their homes. It's the American way.

 

[Amaris]

The smartest thing to do is to avoid arguments and fights all together if you can. Focus on the positive and ignore the idiots. Don't let negative comments effect you. And if they want to get up in your face and fight... there is a smarter way to deal with them instead of punching them in the head. Sure, there is self defense, but there is also common sense (using tactics of peace and cooperation), too.

If that fails, you can always find out where they live and immolate them in their homes. It's the American way.

If I may say so, Sir, if you're not a firefighter, you have sadly missed your calling.

 

[SicOne]

^^ Thank you.

A little conformity is good...after all, a society functions best when everyone follows the law. But too much conformity can be a bad thing.

An organized society requires cooperation, but not necessarily conformity.

No you need conformity,, if there weren't conformity there would be obediance and if there weren't obediance then no one wud learn anything, for exampe a child obey there parent and conforms to the rules set by the parent, for example in not crossing the street when the man is red.

You're actually both right. The analogy that comes to mind is of sled dogs. Conformity is required.

 

[Angela 0077]

The smartest thing to do is to avoid arguments and fights all together if you can. Focus on the positive and ignore the idiots. Don't let negative comments effect you. And if they want to get up in your face and fight... there is a smarter way to deal with them instead of punching them in the head. Sure, there is self defense, but there is also common sense (using tactics of peace and cooperation), too.

Mr Sloan that is great advice

 

[Miss Chicken]

One of the worst cases of bullying I know of happened in a small English town and ended tragically almost three years ago

Police and council officials have already been attacked for failing to stop the gang taunting Miss Pilkington and her disabled daughter Francecca Hardwick, 18.

The inquest heard that yobs taunted Miss Pilkington and heaped abuse on her daughter, who had a mental age of four.

They trampled the family's hedge, hurled stones and eggs at the windows, shoved dog excrement and fireworks through the letterbox, screamed obscenities and threatened Miss Pilkington's dyslexic son Anthony with a knife.

Yet despite receiving 33 desperate 999 calls in ten years, police dismissed Miss Pilkington as 'over-reacting' and classed her as 'low priority'. Unable to bear the torment any more, she decided death was her only escape, and she killed herself and her daughter by setting fire to their car near their home in Barwell, Leicestershire, in October 2007.

Towards the end, Fiona’s mother moved in with the family to offer support and make her daughter feel safer.

It really has come to something when it falls to a 72-year-old woman to try to give a family some security.

Rest of story here

If the police don't take such bullying seriously where can people as vulnerable as this family turn to?

 

[Angela 0077]

Yes you do wonder where people can go to get help when this type of thing happens.
I know when my daughter was bullied they would use the internet to tease her and also they didnt know this but they were sending porno through her MSN
I complained to the school about this but was told that the school could not do anything to help the sitation.
These boys continued this behavior for a few monthes until we could identfy the mongrels
Since you do not have to use your real name you can hide behind a alias.

 

[Miss Chicken]

Did you phone the police? It is actually illegal to use the internet to send offensive material to someone unsolicited.

 

[T'Mar]

This is actually a growing interest in my field (clinical psychology) right now, because although face to face bullying peaks at middle school and starts to decrease throughout high school, cyberbullying (either total strangers or acquaintances who choose to bully through the internet) starts in high school and follows through to college. So while bullying of any sort used to drop off dramatically after high school, it stays around now in internet form for much longer. Interestingly, these trends follow right along with when people start developing empathy. So apparently when they can no longer bear to look someone in the eye while calling them something rude, they decide to do it online.

Which begs the question, of course, of why does it need to be said at all?

 

[SicOne]

The smartest thing to do is to avoid arguments and fights all together if you can. Focus on the positive and ignore the idiots. Don't let negative comments effect you. And if they want to get up in your face and fight... there is a smarter way to deal with them instead of punching them in the head. Sure, there is self defense, but there is also common sense (using tactics of peace and cooperation), too.

If that fails, you can always find out where they live and immolate them in their homes. It's the American way.

If I may say so, Sir, if you're not a firefighter, you have sadly missed your calling.

Heh heh, sadly, no!

 

[KimMH]

This is actually a growing interest in my field (clinical psychology) right now, because although face to face bullying peaks at middle school and starts to decrease throughout high school, cyberbullying (either total strangers or acquaintances who choose to bully through the internet) starts in high school and follows through to college. So while bullying of any sort used to drop off dramatically after high school, it stays around now in internet form for much longer. Interestingly, these trends follow right along with when people start developing empathy. So apparently when they can no longer bear to look someone in the eye while calling them something rude, they decide to do it online.

Which begs the question, of course, of why does it need to be said at all?

I allways thought people who bully others do it to make themselves feel better about themselves. In other words there is usually some self-loathing thrown into the mix too.

It is important for people who observe bullying behavior to intercede and not allow it to escalate, because it often does. Sometimes it only requires someone to tell others to stop. Bullies are often afraid of confrontation where they perceive themselves to be at a disadvantage and only pick victims who they think are weaker than them because they themselves are cowards.

 

[RandyS]

When I was in high school I had several run-ins with this moron who took exception to having to attend the same school with a kid in a wheelchair. He and two of his friends decided to make my life a living hell. At first, I just tried to ignore them, but after a while, their behavior started to grate on me. One day, they decided they were gonna slap me around, and when they tried, they were surprised when I fought back. The instigator tried to punch me in the face, but, sitting down, I was able to duck that with no trouble, and when was regaining his balance in mid-swing, I slammed into him with my wheelchair. The impact wasn't too powerful, but it did knock him down. One of his buddies was surprised I was able to defend myself, and at the same time, decided to switch sides, and he ended up helping me chase his friends off. The other two never bullied me again, and he and I were friends for several years after that.

Sadly- and I say sadly because I'm most definitely not of the "hit back" opinion, in fact I'm dead against it- a lot of us have this experience.

So, what you're saying is, it's sad that I didn't take a beating, NOT that I was bullied? Because he way you worded it, that's how it sounds.

 

[Angela 0077]

I know when l was a kid l had to put up with a whole class bullying me.
It lasted 4 yrs of constant degrading and what made it worse was that when you would have elective classes these poeple who normally do not like a certain subject would go in there so they could have a feild day with me.
Once l did something which l shouldnt have done because l couldnt take it anymore and l was sent to the head office to explain my actions they listened but would not udo anything about what had brought it to this point.
I had to leave school in year 10 because l couldnt cope
I couldnt even walk home because l was followed there too.
I let these buggers wreck my edcation and to this day l am not great at spelling and grammer because l it.
I think l am stronger now but l do regret letting bullying get to me.

 

[Davros]

Being slammed into the wall or kicked in the back or stomach were regular occurances in the halls of my highschool. I even remember telling a friend after one of these events that those people would someday do that to somebody who liked to make bombs for fun. But that was Columbine High School.

 

[Angela 0077]

Well guess what l have my school reunion this year.
These people were terrible to me and my thoughts of seeing them brings back memorys so l will be staying right away from this

Geez thst is terrible that they slammed you kinto the wall and kicked you in the stamach and back.
One thing l hate is when there freinds and others watch the bashing happening in font of them.
They dont go and get the person help do they.
These days it is even hard to get teachers involved because sometimes they face charges for man handleing or getting one of these mongrels in a headlock all there trying to do is stop the fight.

 

[Davros]

In junior high home economics class a guy kept hitting me and was even jumping off the counters to do so, but the teacher did nothing until I told him to "cut that fucking shit out!" and I got chewed out for cussing while he was ignored for attacking me.

 

[RJDiogenes]

When I was in high school I had several run-ins with this moron who took exception to having to attend the same school with a kid in a wheelchair. He and two of his friends decided to make my life a living hell. At first, I just tried to ignore them, but after a while, their behavior started to grate on me. One day, they decided they were gonna slap me around, and when they tried, they were surprised when I fought back. The instigator tried to punch me in the face, but, sitting down, I was able to duck that with no trouble, and when was regaining his balance in mid-swing, I slammed into him with my wheelchair. The impact wasn't too powerful, but it did knock him down. One of his buddies was surprised I was able to defend myself, and at the same time, decided to switch sides, and he ended up helping me chase his friends off. The other two never bullied me again, and he and I were friends for several years after that.

Sadly- and I say sadly because I'm most definitely not of the "hit back" opinion, in fact I'm dead against it- a lot of us have this experience.

So, what you're saying is, it's sad that I didn't take a beating, NOT that I was bullied? Because he way you worded it, that's how it sounds.

He means it's sad that people who would rather not fight at all are forced into defending themselves.

 

[Deckerd]

On the other hand, it seems RandyS's experience had a positive outcome.

 

[RandyS]

On the other hand, it seems RandyS's experience had a positive outcome.

That it did, but twenty two years later, I still think I was lucky. It could have easily gone the other way.

 

[Angela 0077]

In junior high home economics class a guy kept hitting me and was even jumping off the counters to do so, but the teacher did nothing until I told him to "cut that fucking shit out!" and I got chewed out for cussing while he was ignored for attacking me.

Yes there is the problem when teacher ignores a sitation in a classroom.
it is when it gets out of control that they take action and they dont help the victim they prefer to help the bully.
i wonder why they do it.
is it that they dont know how to handle the problem he or she is facing.
Do they have back up from the head office.