Bad Trek Jokes, Part II

[IMC Headquarters]

Why does Worf hate Garak?

He's always pushing his buttons!

 

[Gabriel]

What’s garak’s favorite saying ?

Snitches get stitches.

 

[Discofan]

What was Garak really born to do?

Eliminate (Elim innate)

 

[SpocksOddSocks]

So it's become exclusively a terrible Garak jokes thread now?

Why did Q send Data to Garaks shop?
.
.
.

He knew he'd leave him in stitches.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

Why did Garak live on a volcano?


He was obsidian hoarder.

 

[Gabriel]

Why did Garak live on a volcano?


He was obsidian hoarder.

I only get that because I took geology

 

[Discofan]

What was Garak's conclusion after Lieutenant Paris' countless demands of alterations?

It's the last time I sew Paris'.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

Why did Seska visit Garak?

She heard he makes the best alterations!

 

[IMC Headquarters]

How did Garak earn a PhD in tailoring?

He went back to spool!

 

[IMC Headquarters]

What's Garak's specialty on DS9?

Cloaks and daggers.

 

[Discofan]

How does Garak talk about DS9?

"The out... skirts of Bajor"

 

[IMC Headquarters]

Why does Garak always win at poker?

He holds the best suits!

 

[IMC Headquarters]

How did Garak assassinate Gul Libbel?

He pushed him into a cravat!

 

[Discofan]

Why is Garak so good at collective sports?

He knows how to thread the needle.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Here's a bad Trek joke that actually comes from a Trek novel (The Final Reflectioni):

Q: How many Romulans does it take to change a transtator?
A: One to change the 'stator...and 150 to blow up the ship out of shame.

 

[Discofan]

How many Romulans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they don't have lightbulbs in the future.

(That one is weak, I almost erased it)

 

[Jayson1]

What do you call a Tellerite that likes to joke around?

A ham.

Which Trek character should have been played by Joe Don Baker

Gary MITCHELL.

What happens if Lee Kelso has diarrhea and a toilet that is 12 parsecs away.

The Kelso Run.

Jason

 

[Discofan]

What's the motto of someone who's half-Klingon Half-Ferengi?

Today is a good day to buy!

 

[Jayson1]

What do you call the data rod Sisko tried to give the Romulan Senator in "Pale Moonlight."

FAAAKKEE News.

Jason

 

[Discofan]

Shouting match between Vreenak and Ben Sisko (aka Benny):

Vreenak: It's a FAAAKE!!!
Sisko: It's Realll!!!
Vreenak: I am telling you, it's a FAAKE!!
Sisko: It's Realll, because I CREATED IT!!! It's REAL in MY MIND!!!
Vreenak: All right weirdo. I've wasted enough of my time with you!