Bad Trek Jokes, Part II

[The Old Mixer]

I'm a Moderator, and even I don't have the power to make this thread funny.

 

[Captain pl1ngpl0ng]

lol

 

[DanGussin]

Why did Picard promote Laforge to chief Engineer ?

He was a great Super - Visor !

 

[IMC Headquarters]

Did you hear that the Borg assimilated Supervisor 194? He's now known as Gary Seven of Nine.

 

[Haggis and tatties]

I hear the crew of the Enterprise are getting married......they have engaged the Borg.
Why was Star Trek so successful? ............because it had good Genes.


Aye thang yaw.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

Who on Malcor has the key to warp travel?

Mirasta Yale!

 

[FormerLurker]

Why did Scotty start eating salads?

Because he was dating Mira Romaine.

What?

 

[Jayson1]

What do you get when Q offers you advice on something.

Q tip.

What do you get with a frozen Borg ship?

Ice Cube.

What did the "Man Trap" alien do when it assumed the form of Jimmy Buffett?

Went looking for his lost shaker of salt.


Jason

 

[SpocksOddSocks]

What happened when Starfleet briefly captured Garak during the Cardassian war?







Picard told Starfleet command to make it sew.

 

[Discofan]

Picard goes to sickbay with a broken arm:

Beverly: This will make your bone knit.

Picard: Make it so.

 

[Gabriel]

Picard goes to sickbay with a broken arm:

Beverly: This will make your bone knit.

Picard: Make it so.

Yeah I don’t get it

 

[Discofan]

Yeah I don’t get it

Beverly: This will make your bone knit

Picard: Make it sew.

Knit, sew... get it?

 

[Gabriel]

yeah I get now. you just forgot t o replace so with sew

 

[Jayson1]

What do you call a Klingon who has lost weight.

Kahless

Why did Worf get bored while hunting?


The animal he was after was a complete boar.


What do you call a starfleet pad that someone has thrown it up in the air?

A launch pad.

Jason

 

[Captain pl1ngpl0ng]

what did Worf say when the Klingon lost weight?
"i couldn't Kahless"...

 

[Obsidian7]

Q. Why did Picard never play poker with the crew? (Until 'All Good Things.')

A. He prefered bridge.

 

[Discofan]

Q: What did Picard say to Data who hesitated between a male or a female pig as his next pet?

A: Make it sow.

 

[Kai "the spy"]

What did Picard say when opening the first keg on Oktoberfest?

Make it flow.


Which task from Picard drove the Enterprise's hairstylist to despair?

Make it grow.


What did Picard tell the engineer repairing the broken vacuum cleaner?

Make it blow.

 

[Discofan]

What did an angry Nechayev tell Picard?

Make like a French and leave!

 

[Qonundrum]

Why did Scotty start eating salads?

Because he was dating Mira Romaine.

What?

And because it was green!