Bad Trek Jokes, Part II

Discussion in 'General Trek Discussion' started by Lord Garth, Jun 12, 2018.

  1. The Old Mixer

    The Old Mixer Mih ssim, mih ssim, nam, daed si Xim. Moderator

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    I'm a Moderator, and even I don't have the power to make this thread funny.
     
  2. pl1ngpl0ng

    pl1ngpl0ng Captain Captain

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  3. DanGussin

    DanGussin Lieutenant Red Shirt

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    Why did Picard promote Laforge to chief Engineer ?

    He was a great Super - Visor !
     
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  4. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

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    Did you hear that the Borg assimilated Supervisor 194? He's now known as Gary Seven of Nine.
     
  5. Haggis and tatties

    Haggis and tatties Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    I hear the crew of the Enterprise are getting married......they have engaged the Borg.
    Why was Star Trek so successful? ............because it had good Genes.


    Aye thang yaw.
     
  6. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

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    Who on Malcor has the key to warp travel?

    Mirasta Yale!
     
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  7. FormerLurker

    FormerLurker Commodore Commodore

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    Why did Scotty start eating salads?

    Because he was dating Mira Romaine.

    What?
     
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  8. Jayson1

    Jayson1 Vice Admiral Admiral

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    What do you get when Q offers you advice on something.

    Q tip.

    What do you get with a frozen Borg ship?

    Ice Cube.

    What did the "Man Trap" alien do when it assumed the form of Jimmy Buffett?

    Went looking for his lost shaker of salt.


    Jason
     
  9. SpocksOddSocks

    SpocksOddSocks Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    What happened when Starfleet briefly captured Garak during the Cardassian war?







    Picard told Starfleet command to make it sew.
     
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  10. Discofan

    Discofan Vice Admiral Commodore

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    Picard goes to sickbay with a broken arm:

    Beverly: This will make your bone knit.

    Picard: Make it so.
     
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  11. Gabriel

    Gabriel Captain Captain

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    Yeah I don’t get it
     
  12. Discofan

    Discofan Vice Admiral Commodore

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    Beverly: This will make your bone knit

    Picard: Make it sew.

    Knit, sew... get it?
     
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  13. Gabriel

    Gabriel Captain Captain

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    yeah I get now. you just forgot t o replace so with sew
     
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  14. Jayson1

    Jayson1 Vice Admiral Admiral

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    What do you call a Klingon who has lost weight.

    Kahless

    Why did Worf get bored while hunting?


    The animal he was after was a complete boar.


    What do you call a starfleet pad that someone has thrown it up in the air?

    A launch pad.

    Jason
     
  15. pl1ngpl0ng

    pl1ngpl0ng Captain Captain

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    what did Worf say when the Klingon lost weight?
    "i couldn't Kahless"...
     
  16. Obsidian7

    Obsidian7 Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Q. Why did Picard never play poker with the crew? (Until 'All Good Things.')

    A. He prefered bridge.
     
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  17. Discofan

    Discofan Vice Admiral Commodore

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    Q: What did Picard say to Data who hesitated between a male or a female pig as his next pet?

    A: Make it sow.
     
  18. Kai "the spy"

    Kai "the spy" Vice Admiral Admiral

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    What did Picard say when opening the first keg on Oktoberfest?

    Make it flow.


    Which task from Picard drove the Enterprise's hairstylist to despair?

    Make it grow.


    What did Picard tell the engineer repairing the broken vacuum cleaner?

    Make it blow.
     
  19. Discofan

    Discofan Vice Admiral Commodore

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    What did an angry Nechayev tell Picard?

    Make like a French and leave!
     
  20. Cutie McWhiskers

    Cutie McWhiskers Commodore Commodore

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    The clinic located by the Q Continuum
    And because it was green!