Bad Trek Jokes, Part II

Discussion in 'General Trek Discussion' started by Lord Garth, Jun 12, 2018.

  1. SpocksOddSocks

    SpocksOddSocks Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    SpocksOddSocks
    Who was Starfleet's most hated officer of the 24th century?


    Will Riker... Picard kept ordering Worf to fire at him.
    ________________

    Who is the most well travelled individual in Starfleet?


    Chief O'Brien.... by Miles.
    _______________

    What was Shran's favourite Earth movie?


    The Blues Brothers.
     
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  2. Cjohnson1701

    Cjohnson1701 Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    May 1, 2013
    Location:
    Vancouver, BC
    Why do D7's dont have Seatbelts?
    So the crew can remain Klingon.

    Why is it so hard to make an outgoing message on the Enterprise D?
    Because only the senior staff have access to Data.

    Why are the Borg so knowledgeable?
    Because they work with Lore.
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2019
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  3. Jayson1

    Jayson1 Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2017
    What do you call a date with Riker who happens to be short?

    Minuet.


    What ship would the Green Arrow captain?

    The USS: HOOD


    Jason
     
  4. DanGussin

    DanGussin Lieutenant Junior Grade Red Shirt

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    Mar 16, 2019
    The Enterprise and Toilet Paper -

    Circling Uranus searching for Kling - ons
     
  5. Discofan

    Discofan Vice Admiral Commodore

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    Discofan
    What do you find in Kirk's toilet?

    The Captain's log...
     
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  6. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

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    May 26, 2018
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    Empire Falls, Maine
    Why was Garak featured on ABC's Wide World of Sports?

    For his twill of victory!
     
  7. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

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    Empire Falls, Maine
    Who is Garak's favorite Suliban?

    Silk!
     
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  8. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

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    Empire Falls, Maine
    How did Garak win Employee of the Month?

    He pulled the wool over everyone's eyes!
     
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  9. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

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    Empire Falls, Maine
    Why did Garak kill his apprentice?

    He didn't measure up!
     
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  10. Jayson1

    Jayson1 Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2017
    Why do people think Khan was a musician?

    He could really Singh.

    What would a cannibal call a meal featuring both Commodore and Captain Decker?

    A Double Decker?

    What would you call a frivious rule made by Picard just for Data's daughter while on the ship?

    A Lal D Law.

    Jason
     
  11. The Old Mixer

    The Old Mixer Mih ssim, mih ssim, nam, daed si Xim. Moderator

    Why does the Constitution-class not have seatbelts?
    "Risk...risk is our business!"
     
  12. Discofan

    Discofan Vice Admiral Commodore

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    Discofan
    What did Lily (from Generations) say about Deanna?

    Is she your pilates instructor?
     
  13. SpocksOddSocks

    SpocksOddSocks Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Why did Garak cross the promenade?



    To get to the other side.
     
  14. pl1ngpl0ng

    pl1ngpl0ng Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2017
    i'm ordering you all to be more funny!!


    <--- ! i'm a CAPTAIN
     
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  15. SpocksOddSocks

    SpocksOddSocks Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    What Star Trek species do you get of you cross a turtle with a Himalayan beast of burden?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    The Shelly-yak
     
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  16. Discofan

    Discofan Vice Admiral Commodore

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    Picard went into an argument with Riker about the best watering can, American or French.

    Picard said: What the American can can't, the French can can!!!
     
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  17. FormerLurker

    FormerLurker Commodore Commodore

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    May 17, 2009
    But this is the BAD joke thread!
     
  18. pl1ngpl0ng

    pl1ngpl0ng Captain Captain

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    Oct 10, 2017
    yeah i know @FormerLurker it's just so fascinating ordering people around...
    I can do that now.., because I'm A CAPTAIN
    <--- LOOK!!:)....
     
  19. Tim Thomason

    Tim Thomason Commodore Commodore

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    May 27, 2009
    Location:
    Daniels' Illinois
    Commodore FormerLurker outranks you, and Captain SpocksOddSocks has more time in grade, so your orders are unlawful, Captain.
     
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  20. pl1ngpl0ng

    pl1ngpl0ng Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2017
    i think i must be blinded with my new powers.... i'll soon come to my senses =)
    and i promise to only harass ensigns from now on:biggrin: