Bad Trek Jokes, Part II

Discussion in 'General Trek Discussion' started by Lord Garth, Jun 12, 2018.

  1. Kai "the spy"

    Kai "the spy" Vice Admiral Admiral

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    - Counselor Troi is so empathic.
    - How empathic is she?
    - Everytime somebody watches Star Wars in a fifteen lightyear radius, she feels a great disturbance in the Force.

    - Kirk's ego is so big.
    - How big is it?
    - Scotty needs to put a dampening field around him, just so it fits in the Captain's Chair.

    - Spock is so logical.
    - How logical is he?
    - He said it's impossible to say exactly without clearly defined ways to measure logic.
     
  2. CorporalCaptain

    CorporalCaptain Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Q: Why couldn't Starfleet engineers ever win a debate in the intergalactic caucuses on Chaya VII?

    A: Because they were familiar with antimatter but not pro matter.
     
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  3. hbquikcomjamesl

    hbquikcomjamesl Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    No, Captain Flathead, there are 69105 lights. (How's that for mixed metaphors?)
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2018
  4. Kai "the spy"

    Kai "the spy" Vice Admiral Admiral

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    - Riker is so horny.
    - How horny is he?
    - The only pussy on the Enterprise he doesn't care about is Spot.

    - Kirk's ego is so big.
    - How big is it?
    - No matter where he is cruising around the galaxy, it is still visible from Earth.

    - Scotty is so awesome.
    - How awesome is he?
    - They named his homeland after him.

    - Dr. McCoy is so smooth.
    - How smooth is he?
    - He's the only one from the original crew that everybody else liked.
     
  5. SpocksOddSocks

    SpocksOddSocks Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Irradiated haggis?
     
  6. 1001001

    1001001 I Like the Nightlife, Baby! Moderator

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    :rolleyes:

    Come on, man...
     
  7. Kai "the spy"

    Kai "the spy" Vice Admiral Admiral

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    It's specifically a bad jokes thread, so someone had to do it.

    - Kirk's ego is so big.
    - How big is it?
    - Most of his uniform shirts surrender to it.
     
  8. CorporalCaptain

    CorporalCaptain Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Q.
    "Q Who"
     
  9. Tim Thomason

    Tim Thomason Commodore Commodore

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    Followed immediately by:
    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Q2.
     
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  10. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Admiral Admiral

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  11. SpocksOddSocks

    SpocksOddSocks Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    JJverse Kirk, Scotty and Keenser walk into a bar. The bar tender looks at Scotty, looks at Keenser, looks at Scotty, looks at Keenser, then turns to Kirk, "Ok, the clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go."

    Alright, I've got nothing, but that damned punchline needs to come from something. :brickwall:
     
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  12. hbquikcomjamesl

    hbquikcomjamesl Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    No soap. Radio?
     
  13. TrickyDickie

    TrickyDickie Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    When Khan stole the Reliant....didn't that technically make it the Khanstellation ? :whistle:
     
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  14. TrickyDickie

    TrickyDickie Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    [​IMG]

    Bela: "Kalo's right, this dummy can't do nothin' 'til he's through sparklin'."
     
  15. Tim Thomason

    Tim Thomason Commodore Commodore

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    I heard that all of the Star Trek series and the first ten movies are now available on Amazon Prime.

    The last three movies, though, are only available on Amazon Kelvin Timeline.
     
  16. 1001001

    1001001 I Like the Nightlife, Baby! Moderator

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    B6115538-2F7E-472F-AA26-F9036AEFEC8B.jpeg
     
  17. Lord Garth

    Lord Garth Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Bela looks like one of the Assistant Principals of where I went to high school.
     
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  18. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    ^ I think he looks like Lennie Briscoe from L&O

     
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  19. Kerock

    Kerock Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Blonde Borgs have the same fun.
    My other vehicle was assimilated by the Borg.
    What is the least popular show on Bajor? Keeping up with the Cardassians!
     
  20. TrickyDickie

    TrickyDickie Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    What do you get when you cross Beverly with Data?

    Bill Gates McFadden.

    :whistle: