Bad Trek Jokes, Part II

Discussion in 'General Trek Discussion' started by Lord Garth, Jun 12, 2018.

  1. Kerock

    Kerock Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Why did the Tellurite Ambasodor eat beans of Friday?
    -- So he could have a bubble bath on Saturday.
     
  2. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Location:
    The visitor's bullpen
    What are some popular Borg self-help books?

    Calm, Cool & Collective
    Chicken Soup Is Irrelevant
    The Seven (of nine) Habits Of Highly Efficient Drones
    I'm Assimilated, You're Assimilated
     
  3. Tim Thomason

    Tim Thomason Commodore Commodore

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    Daniels' Illinois
    Nobody's Perfect, Yet

    How to Succeed in Conquering Earth Without Really Trying

    Psycho-Cybernetics
     
  4. Laura Cynthia Chambers

    Laura Cynthia Chambers Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    What Color is Your Alcove?
     
  5. USS Triumphant

    USS Triumphant Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Go ahead, caller. I'm listening...
    What did the fabric merchant on Farpoint Station do? Bill Gates McFadden.

    I don't recommend you cross Beverly *or* Data. Beverly survived the end of a universe, and Data thinks that Ferengi-in-a-gorilla-suit sh*t is funny, which tells you what a sicko he is. ;)
     
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  6. 2takesfrakes

    2takesfrakes Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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  7. WraithDukat

    WraithDukat Captain Captain

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    The Fire Caves
    What did Gul Dukat say when he kicked a ball through someones Window?
    Legate!!

    Why do pirates like TNG season 1?
    Yar!!
     
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2018
  8. Janeway_74656

    Janeway_74656 Lieutenant Red Shirt

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    The Drone's Guide to a Perfect Regeneration Cycle
    How to Stop Worrying and Start Assimilating
    The Power of Collective Thinking
     
  9. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Vice Admiral Admiral

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    How To Build Friends And Assimilate People
     
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  10. SpocksOddSocks

    SpocksOddSocks Captain Captain

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    Knock knock ...
    Shut up Wesley!
     
  11. Kerock

    Kerock Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Jun 30, 2018
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    Rocky Mountains
    Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
     
  12. bolak

    bolak Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    "Mr Sulu, why have you taken the ship out of orbit?"

    "I don't really know sir, I just did it on impulse..."
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2018
  13. bolak

    bolak Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Khan Noonien Singh

    Of course he can, he is genetically engineered
     
  14. Laura Cynthia Chambers

    Laura Cynthia Chambers Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Mississauga
    You mean, of course, he Khan.
     
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  15. bolak

    bolak Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    "Computer, why is Lieutenant Yar so grumpy?"

    "Insufficient Data"
     
  16. Lance

    Lance Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    The Enterprise's Restroom
    Did you hear the real reason why the scene of Scotty meeting Deanna Troi in TNG: "Relics" was cut from the broadcast episode?

    Because he cannae change the law of psychics.
     
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  17. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Nov 20, 2012
    Why did Hugh feel inadequate to court Anika Hansen?

    She's a 7, and he's only a 3!
     
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  18. bolak

    bolak Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Nov 25, 2014
    McCoy's least favourite song?

    Katra Chameleon
     
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  19. bolak

    bolak Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Nov 25, 2014
    Captain Picard walks into Worf's Grocery Store.

    "I'll take a loaf of bread, two tins of peaches, some chocolates and a box of Earl Grey leaves" says Picard

    Worf rings-up the items on his till.

    "That'll be thirteen --- "

    "Oh just put it on my tab, Mr Worf. You know I don't carry cash." says Picard

    Worf growls and shakes his head slightly, frustrated but compliant. "If you were any other man I would bill you where you stand".
     
  20. bolak

    bolak Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2014
    Captain Picard walks into Worf's Grocery Store.

    He is just about to speak when suddenly there is a flash of light ahead of him and a humanoid appears and orders a latte.

    "Dammit!" mutters Picard, "why is there always a Q in this shop?"