Bad Trek Jokes, Part II

[Kai "the spy"]

- Counselor Troi is so empathic.
- How empathic is she?
- Everytime somebody watches Star Wars in a fifteen lightyear radius, she feels a great disturbance in the Force.

- Kirk's ego is so big.
- How big is it?
- Scotty needs to put a dampening field around him, just so it fits in the Captain's Chair.

- Spock is so logical.
- How logical is he?
- He said it's impossible to say exactly without clearly defined ways to measure logic.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Q: Why couldn't Starfleet engineers ever win a debate in the intergalactic caucuses on Chaya VII?

A: Because they were familiar with antimatter but not pro matter.

 

[hbquikcomjamesl]

You got the wrong franchise, I'd suggest now is a good time to grab your towel. Oh, and don't let the turbolift doors trap you on the way out.

No, Captain Flathead, there are 69105 lights. (How's that for mixed metaphors?)

 

[Kai "the spy"]

- Riker is so horny.
- How horny is he?
- The only pussy on the Enterprise he doesn't care about is Spot.

- Kirk's ego is so big.
- How big is it?
- No matter where he is cruising around the galaxy, it is still visible from Earth.

- Scotty is so awesome.
- How awesome is he?
- They named his homeland after him.

- Dr. McCoy is so smooth.
- How smooth is he?
- He's the only one from the original crew that everybody else liked.

 

[SpocksOddSocks]

No, Captain Flathead, there are 69105 lights. (How's that for mixed metaphors?)

Irradiated haggis?

 

[1001001]

- Riker is so horny.
- How horny is he?
- The only pussy on the Enterprise he doesn't care about is Spot.

Come on, man...

 

[Kai "the spy"]

It's specifically a bad jokes thread, so someone had to do it.

- Kirk's ego is so big.
- How big is it?
- Most of his uniform shirts surrender to it.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Q.
"Q Who"

 

[Tim Thomason]

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Q.
"Q Who"

Followed immediately by:
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Q2.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Knock Knock
Come!

 

[SpocksOddSocks]

JJverse Kirk, Scotty and Keenser walk into a bar. The bar tender looks at Scotty, looks at Keenser, looks at Scotty, looks at Keenser, then turns to Kirk, "Ok, the clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go."

Alright, I've got nothing, but that damned punchline needs to come from something.

 

[hbquikcomjamesl]

"Ok, the clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go."

Alright, I've got nothing, but that damned punchline needs to come from something.

No soap. Radio?

 

[TrickyDickie]

When Khan stole the Reliant....didn't that technically make it the Khanstellation ?

 

[TrickyDickie]

Bela: "Kalo's right, this dummy can't do nothin' 'til he's through sparklin'."

 

[Tim Thomason]

I heard that all of the Star Trek series and the first ten movies are now available on Amazon Prime.

The last three movies, though, are only available on Amazon Kelvin Timeline.

 

[1001001]

I heard that all of the Star Trek series and the first ten movies are now available on Amazon Prime.

The last three movies, though, are only available on Amazon Kelvin Timeline.

 

[Lord Garth]

Bela: "Kalo's right, this dummy can't do nothin' 'til he's through sparklin'."

Bela looks like one of the Assistant Principals of where I went to high school.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^ I think he looks like Lennie Briscoe from L&O

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[Kerock]

Blonde Borgs have the same fun.
My other vehicle was assimilated by the Borg.
What is the least popular show on Bajor? Keeping up with the Cardassians!

 

[TrickyDickie]

What do you get when you cross Beverly with Data?

Bill Gates McFadden.