DS9 Caption Contest #60: The Female Changeling, remaining nameless

[LeadHead]

Happy Saturday Niners! I wanted to let the last one have some extra time, and that time is over! New contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "Bajoran Discipline" Award, going to:

ROM: Well, Kira did say if she caught you she'd put a boot up your ass.

Next, we have the "Mixed Signals" Award, going to:

Rom got the wrong idea when Odo accidentally brushed one of Rom's ears.

Next, we have the "Brotherly love" Award, going to:

Quark (offscreen): "Yes, people. He drew that. When he was 12. Is this the sort of sad, pathetic man you want to be following? (Under his breath) I knew this would be useful one day..."

Next, we have the "Well, that's a lawsuit" Award, going to:

Quark: How much for the Bajoran female?
Kira: What?
Quark: The Bajoran female, how much does she cost?
Kira: I'm not for sale!
Quark: And the Trill woman, how much for her to?
Kira: You say that again and I'll punch those words right back into your miserable little mouth!
Quark: And all the women to. How much for all of them, the major and the Trill one?
Sisko: Three bricks and four bars of gold pressed latinum.

<stunned silence from all the woman>

Next, we have the "Well, that's a downer" Award, going to:

O'Brien: "Well, when you said you'd be spending some time with the love of your life, this wasn't quite what I expected."

Rom: "Dr. Bashir is looking at a display now."

Quark: "What does the display say?"

Rom: "Apparently there's a sale at Penney's."

Congratulations to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated!

We're very close to the end of the character caption contests. Almost a year now, WOW!

Lets spend some time with the Female Changeling, Weyoun says that she honors us with her presence.

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Odo: No changeling has ever harmed another. But the Stun setting doesn't count. Enjoy!

Female Shapeshifter: That was interesting, but why did you call me Kira?

Vorta: Do we still tip %15 percent in Bajoran space?

Bashir: Doctor patient confidentiality prevents me from speaking about Odo's condition.

Female Shapeshifter: Please?

Bashir: Okay, but only because it's embarrassing.

Broca: But, I was to be a fan favorite....GAK!

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Thanks for the win.

Odo (awkwardly): "Look. I find it hard to regenerate without Kooky Bear there to guard me. I can't just get rid of him".

Founder: "I'll get you a Jem'Hadar".

Odo (quietly): "But I want Kooky...."

Founder: "Now, if everyone's settled down, we'll begin. Marvin, proceed".

Marvin the Vorta: "Once upon a time, in a kingdom far away, there lived a princess..."

Broca: "All...I said...was...that...it may be time...to change out...of that...dress".

Founder: "Never!"

Broca: "You've been...wearing it...through every picture...it's starting to...fall...apart".

 

[Finn]

Odo:...double 69. That was....educational

 

[Ln X]

Thanks for the win LeadHead!

Female Changeling: The rock becomes the drop, and the drop becomes the rock.
Odo: ENOUGH OF YOUR RIDDLES!!! Where's Kira?
Female Changeling: Let's just say I had her liquidated...

Female Changeling: Worst. Sex. Ever.

Female Changeling: I'll agree to sign this peace treaty on one condition; the Breen remove their helmets. I don't trust a solid who covers their face.

Bashir: Forgive my friend Garak here, he can be too inquisitive at times.
Female Changeling: Don't worry, he will be killed and so will anyone who is a friend of the Cardassians!
Bashir: <gulps>

Female Changeling: You Cardassian scum! You dare molest your god?
Broca: But Founder I was only wondering if that area was actually real!
Female Changeling: And for that you will die!

 

[shivkala]

Odo: Uh, I think you forgot to actually change into something...
Female Changeling: Shh, I'm a chair, can you see that?!

or

Odo: You know, for a Changeling, you suck at hide-and-seek!

Odo: I'm sorry, I swear this has never happened to me before...
Female Changeling: Don't worry Odo, It's okay, this sort of thing happens to lots of Changelings. You've been under a lot of stress

Weyoun: I'll be passing around the card we got for everyone to sign. Now, did everyone chip in for Garak's birthday present?

Female Changeling: Julian, have you ever been in a... in a Dominion prison?

Female Changeling: I ordered decaf!

 

[R. Star]

Thanks for the win, Leadhead! These are always fun!

Female Changeling: You're holding that gun upside down.

Odo: Come on... please?
Female Changeling: Sod off, I'm not turning into Kira!

Female Changeling: Pens, papers... how quaint. Worthless lackeys losing to these antiquated barbarians.

Female Changeling: I like you Doctor. I have a friend who would love being yo- I mean being with you.

Broca: (choke) How... are you lifting me up? That thumb isn't even around my neck.
Female Changeling: Do not underestimate the Dark Side of the Force.

 

[DS9 Gal AZ]

Female Changeling: I once caught a fish this big ...
Odo: Good lord, I can't take any more of these stories! Sorry, I'm going to have to shoot you.

DS9 viewers: WHERE IS THE BRAIN BLEACH?

Vorta: Stop looking at me that way. I know I'm not as awesome as Weyoun, but damn it, I'm doing the best I can, alright?

Bashir: So next, I tried putting Odo in a blender, but that didn't work, so ...
Female Changeling: *thinking* Oh, you are so getting kidnapped, put in a Dominion prison, and replaced with a changeling the first time I get a chance to make it happen, you stupid solid!

Female Changeling: This is my happy face. Would you like to see my angry one? I don't think you would.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Odo: "Oh! I know one we haven't done yet! How about Johnny Weissmuller and Maureen O'Sullivan?"
Female Changeling: "Woohoo! Shift and shake it, baby!"

 

[Finn]

Odo: Not firm enough, and it still feels lumpy

Female Changeling: .....Better?

Odo: Yes. Now let's do it...

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Founder: It's just a jump to the left. And then a step to the right...

 

[Nerys Myk]

ODO: Okaaaay, that was creepy.

 

[T'Girl]

Odo: "Never bring Kung-fu to a gun fight."

 

[Nerys Myk]

FEMALE CHANGLING: Stop! I'm not made of ballistics gel!!!

 

[Mistral]

Founder: "Okay, okay, I'll tell everyone its this big. Now will you put the gun away?"

 

[R. Star]

FEMALE CHANGLING: Stop! I'm not made of ballistics gel!!!

That made my day!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Jamie: Myth confirmed, BITCH!

 

[Mr Silver]

Benny Broca: Hey, man, I got five kids to feed!

 

[LeadHead]

New contest is up!