Star Trek XI Caption Contest #11: And The Oscar Goes To...

[Rat Boy]

Hope you saved up some of those bright ideas, because it's time for a new caption contest. First, though, let's sign the lens flare on...

For the Kelvin being forced to reset their so many days without an incident counter, our winner is...

Robau: I have a good feeling about today!

George Kirk: Captain a Huge Ship of Death incoming!

For proving that maybe Abrams should have dialed back the lighting a bit, our winner is...

The crew gathers in the one lensflare free spot on the ship to relax.

Bad ass that he is, Robau does have a softer side as our Photoshop winner clearly demonstrates...

And finally, I'm not a vein person, but I also can't argue with the audience...

If I chose the winners, this one would be it.

I second that nomination.

All right, fine. You win...er...I win...

Robau: "Polarize the fanbase."

George Kirk: "Already done, sir."

Congratulations to the winners...and myself. Ick, this feels awkward. Anyway, this week we're celebrating Trek XI's win on Oscar night. First up, we have an example from the actual category the movie won for. Second, we have Oscar presenter Tyler Perry nervously making sure a crazy redheaded lady isn't going to run onto the stage. And finally, Big Red Monster Thing is pissed that Avatar won the VFX award. Have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

Uhura: "Why the long face?"

Komack (thinking): Didn't I use to have a full head of hair?

Kirk: "Altoid?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

UHURA: Yeah, so I'm dating this guy...but he so emotionaly distant...I want him to open up and share his feelings....

LONGFACE (thinking): I gotta find a new bar.

k
KIRK (thinking): Nervous. Gotta think of something to calm down. Maybe if I pictured the Admiral in a wig and a dress.

 

[shapeshifter]

Uhura: How can you be mute with a chin like that?

 

[Rat Boy]

Barnett: "In academic terms, Mr. Kirk, you cheated."

Kirk: "Wait, that's not supposed to happen! You're supposed to give me a commendation for original thinking!"

Barnett: "What do you think this is? USC?"

 

[cooleddie74]

LONGFACE: Why does every woman who comes in this bar think I'm related to John Kerry...

Whomever that even IS...

TYLER PERRY'S I Can Do Starfleet Academy All By Myself


Coming to theaters near you in 2011

 

[Nerys Myk]

LONGFACE: Why do the ugly chicks alway start hitting on me?

 

[Rat Boy]

Longface: "Why does everyone keep saying to me, 'place I name, money you name, otherwise bargain no?'"

 

[Sector 7]

Uhura to bartender: So the other day this creepy, wart-covered guy hit on me.
.
.
[awkward silence]
.
.
.
Umm, he's right behind me isn't he?

 

[M'Sharak]

Brian (thinking): Budweiser, whut?! Eewwwww...

Kirk (fanning hand in front of face): Damn, what'chyou been eating? A whole gallon of Scope wouldn't touch that breath!


-------------------------------

Longface: "Why does everyone keep saying to me, 'place I name, money you name, otherwise bargain no?'"

Uhura: You're just asking for Grignak to be 'shopped into this thing - you know that, don't you?

 

[T'Girl]

Kirk (thinking to self): **You know, it been a while since I've had sex. And God knows I've done worst**

Kirk: "Now just hold still there Nellie, I'm only undoing my pants."

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

Morn enters Bar

Entire Bar except Longface: MORN!

Longface: You do that for him? He doesn't even talk!

Komack: Admiral, I really think it's too harsh a punishment to make anyone watch Madea Goes to Jail.

Kirk: Why couldn't this be the Delta Vega in the Prime universe? I only have an insane best friend on that one!

 

[Nerys Myk]

KOMAK: This is the last you'll see these uniforms. I sold the design the Romulans.

KIRK: Hold on! I'm allergic to fish!

 

[mariajl]

Longface: Yes, I had my nose replaced with a penis.... but wait til ya see me sneeze.

 

[Rat Boy]

Monster (translated from Monsterese): <<"No, seriously, do you know the way to San Jose?">>

 

[mari]

Thanks for the win!

Komack (thinking): Gotta pick up more Preparation H on the way home... and maybe one of those donut cushions...

 

[mariajl]

"Dude... you need to floss-- you got a piece of Gorn between your top two fangs."

 

[Photoman15]

Komack (thinking): "People let me tell you 'bout my best friend, He's a one boy cuddly toy, my up, my down, my pride and joy." Yeah, I'll use that.

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: The test itself is a cheat.

Spock: No it isn't.

Kirk: Yes it is!

Spock: No it isn't!

Kirk: Loser says "What."

Spock: What?

Admiral Tyler Parry: I'm sorry Commander Spock, but you lose.

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK: DAMN.


Seriously, dude...they're called Tic-Tacs...okay?


They're NOT expensive.