Kirk: Why is my coffee cold, and why does it taste like shit?!
Sulu: Don't tell him, Sulu, don't tell him...
Star Trek XI Caption Contest #10: Another Bright Idea
- Thread starter Rat Boy
- Start date
Kirk: Why is my coffee cold, and why does it taste like shit?!
Sulu: Don't tell him, Sulu, don't tell him...
Spock: "Nero has just destroyed Earth."
Kirk: "Well, shit. That really killed my morning."
McCOY: Soooooo....
(*whistles nervously to break the group tension*)
Anyone here like old-style movies about gladiators?
KIRK: She got a sister?
One who ISN'T dead and reduced to atoms?
^ Thats great!!! 
Seconded! That and the "polarize the fan base" are MY two winners of this round!^ Thats great!!!
ROBAU: Bridge to engine room...can we get a better polarization filter for the main viewscreen? That Kenny Rogers Roasters is a whole light-year away and that damn chicken sign is STILL blinding us!!
KIRK: Okay, then.
Plan B.
We all freak out, soil the deckplates, beg for a quick and merciful death from the Great Bird of the Galaxy and leave the ship a complete and utter mess?
CHEKOV: Dat vill work!
BONES: Sounds good to me, Jim.
SULU: Why not?
SCOTTY:Want me to go fetch me roofies?
Robau: I want a medium hamburger and some french fries. Thank you. Oh, and polarize the milkshake.
"Damned Space Pintos.
EVERY damn time you accidentally bump into the back of one with your saucer module..."
McCOY: Great job hidin' that fart, Jim.
DAMN.
Are you rotting from the inside out or somethin'?!
ROBAU: I've blinded me...
WITH TEMPORAL SCIENCE!!!!
CHEKOV: Don't be too embarassed, Keptin...
ALL male Starfleet officers have trouble keeping it up in bed vit a green Orion voman at one time or anodder...
Take Mister Sulu for example! Aldough...DAT might be for another reason he's not telling us.
Captain Robau to Starbase Two...
Come in, Starbase Two...
USS Kelvin has encountered a strange and extremely bright space phenomenon that has rendered my bridge crew unable to avoid warping through red lights...
acknowledge!!!
Navigator: "Keptin! De enemy wessel..."
Robau: "Don't even start that shit on my bridge!"
ROBAU: Captain Robau, USS Kelvin...calling Starfleet Command...Starfleet Command, do you acknowledge our transmission?
Repeat...we have finally broken into the Nakatomi Building's corporate safe...finally broken into the Nakatomi Building's corporate safe...
Do you copy?!
McCOY: Wow, Jim.
That was THE most boring-ass story I've ever heard in my entire LIFE.
Excuse me if I don't talk to you again for the rest of this damned mission.
Uhura: Vet faccfine you gafe me, wat doef it do? Why are my eyef clofed? Oh my Gowww!!!
Bones: Yep, numbtongue. And how curious, numbeyes... Oohhhhhhh shit.