Need to vent, long read so don't click if you don't feel like it

[Mr. Laser Beam]

She's Canadian.

Oh.

Then this would apply.

Just living together does not make a common law marriage. You still have to apply for legal status.

Agreed, but KT has *said* her marriage is common law. She used that specific phrase. So I can only assume they'd taken care of all that.

 

[Yoda]

Dump the chump. Move to Ohio, I think I smell a love connection with you and J. Allen!

 

[T'Baio]

Holy shit, I didn't know you were Canadian, Kirk's_Tights. Umm...cool...I guess.

Anyway, yeah, he's a douche. Working on your problems is one thing...but being his fucking slave June Cleaver style and allowing someone to call you a slut while he's living rent free on your dime? You're being...sorry...stupid.

 

[Ruaidhri]

Actually, isn't KT a transplanted American?

 

[The Lady Eve]

You've always struck me as a smart, strong woman KT. You may, however, be having a problem with sentiment - God knows I've gotten bogged down in that in the past. Listen - time passes too quickly to put up with this childish shit. It's called growing apart. It's painful but there it is.

Squiggy nailed it: "Sadly, there is no medical treatment for douchiness and it's terminal."

 

[nevermore]

I have no idea where that other thread went where I previously vented about this relationship of mine (someone else made that thread) but anyways, here we go again.

First off, in that other thread, I said 80% of the time, my common law moron and I were happy. I lied. I just didn't feel like admitting that this could possibly be a failure because I don't enjoy the thought of failing.


So today, he wakes up at 3PM, yet another waste of a day. He sits on the couch with me and starts to joke around with me, all things are dandy. Then, he lifts my shirt (not all the way, just enough to show my midriff) and I tell him not to do it in a friendly tone (it's just plain irritating to have someone acting like a 5 year old and lifting up your shirt when you're trying to sit on the couch and read some news). Apparently not understanding english, he lifts it again. I tell him again, don't do it. He gets all upset and starts blah blah blahing about how he hates living here, etc. and I say what the heck, I just told you not to lift my shirt, no need to get upset, so he starts calling me a 'stupid fucking slut' (which is ironic because he's the only man I have ever been with and he's the stupid asshole who decided last year to hop on to Craig's List and send two emails to two girls, one even had my name, but failed because I found his emails).

He then throws the usual hissy fit of calling me every name he can think of and generally talking down to me, and then goes and takes a shower.

Note that we had planned to go to the Canadian National Exhibition today.

Anyways, after he gets out of the shower, he gets dressed and starts getting his shoes on. I walk over and say 'so are we gonna go today or what?' and like a shy little baby, he mumbles 'no, I am going somewhere else'. I can barely hear him so I said what and he says 'no, I am going somewhere else' so I ask where he is going and he says 'I am going to my dad's, I will bring him to the CNE' and I tell him he is childish and I go sit back down on the couch and let him leave because I don't care (btw, I also have the pre-purchased tickets that aren't being sold anymore so if he ever did go, enjoy wasting like 2 hours of your time in line while I go and just walk right in).


I don't really understand how him going with his dad (I know him well enough to know he isn't really doing this, it's just the little game he plays) is suppose to hurt my feelings. It's grey and on and off rainy outside so walking outdoors isn't exactly the most pleasant thing right now.

Last night, a similar thing happened. We were sitting on the couch, both on our laptops, and I noticed from the corner of my eye that he kept looking over at me so I asked him why he keeps looking at me, yet again in a friendly tone, and he gets all pissed off while I stare in shock that he got upset over me simply asking why he keeps glancing over. I just got up, brushed my teeth and went to bed.


I don't understand why people have to act like such total assholes. I do the dishes, I do his laundry, I fold his laundry and clean out his drawers by re-folding everything so it's nice and neat for him, I clean around the apartment, I take care of all 4 of our pets, I feed myself, I go grocery shopping, I pay the rent BY MYSELF.....he cooks on occasion and walks around at work with a phone in his hand and sits at a desk practically all day chatting with his friends yet he always acts as if he's the hardest worker in the world.

He's also big at judging. Pink hair? OMG YOU'RE A PUNK. Gee, so sorry I am unique and enjoy throwing some 'not so normal' colours in my hair, which he knew I did before we even started dating. He also has this dumb thing where if it's from Wal-Mart, don't tell anyone its's from Wal-Mart. K, thanks, but while you pay $85 for jeans that have a stupid Tommy flag on it, I'll pay $20 for jeans that will outlast your $85 ones and tell everyone about it. He even gets mad if some random guy looks at me. It's always WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT GUY STARING AT???


There's more but whatever, I think I've taken enough of your time. I just can't believe how rotten and ungrateful a person is. Without getting TOO personal, his needs get met yet he still acts like an asshole when he should be shaping the hell up because he's no fucking champ.


If anyone else needs to vent about a relationship or whatever else, feel free to share with us. Makes you feel way better after.

OK.

Now tell me why you're with him.

 

[Thespeckledkiwi]

Kick him out.

Change the locks on the door and kick him out.

 

[Kail]

Ok, the comon law thing isn't really relevent. What is, is he's treating her very badly.

 

[Maestro]

Squiggy nailed it. That is all.

 

[TheBrew]

OK.

Now tell me why you're with him.

Same question came to my mind.

 

[pookha]

KT, whatever situation you're going through right now, please take everything with a grain of salt. We're not a bunch of professionals here, and don't get easily swayed by what others might say. You are very well liked here by most people, especially the guys, who might try to take advantage of the situation and say negative things about your partner or your marriage. Good luck to you.

i am gal and i dont think any one can say worse things then that creep already said.

so he starts calling me a 'stupid fucking slut' (which is ironic because he's the only man I have ever been with ........


He then throws the usual hissy fit of calling me every name he can think of and generally talking down to me

he also isnt paying rent and dosnt appreciate what she does around the place.

the folllowing stuff made me wonder if he is already out cheating..

who decided last year to hop on to Craig's List and send two emails to two girls, one even had my name, but failed because I found his emails).

and

Last night, a similar thing happened. We were sitting on the couch, both on our laptops, and I noticed from the corner of my eye that he kept looking over at me so I asked him why he keeps looking at me, yet again in a friendly tone, and he gets all pissed off while I stare in shock that he got upset over me simply asking why he keeps glancing over. I just got up, brushed my teeth and went to bed.

He even gets mad if some random guy looks at me. It's always WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT GUY STARING AT???

 

[Lindley]

She's Canadian.

"I'm sorry." -Jack O'Niell

(to which *I'm* sorry....it's just one of those things you have to finish the quote on!)

 

[Sephiroth]

It's obvious that he doesn't respect you. How old are you if I might ask? *i've seen your photo in the picture thread, you can't be older than 19 or 20* ditch his worthless ass, you are a very attractive person, you'll find someone else

 

[Thespeckledkiwi]

It's obvious that he doesn't respect you. How old are you if I might ask? *i've seen your photo in the picture thread, you can't be older than 19 or 20* ditch his worthless ass, you are a very attractive person, you'll find someone else

Agreed there. Who doesn't like a woman that has as many interests and is as varied as you?

 

[Australis]

I think KT might be a little older than 20 if she's been with him 6 years.

Like a couple of people here, I'm also in a phase of 're-assessment'. Is this what I signed up for? Hmmm.

KT, I'll redefine FL's question slightly - why are you with him now? The past has a powerful hold, and undoubtedly there are many good memories there. What's changed? The move to Canada? Why did you move? You said he doesn't pay any rent, but does he pay fo r the utilities, or just keep the money fopr himself and his own needs?

Now, a slightly scary question - does he know you come here? The person he sees here might cause his jealously to flare up. The sig, for example (which you've said is ironic, and not true). The reason I ask is that you've caught him just looking at you, and getting snarky when you ask why. What's that about? Is he hiding something? Or does he suspect you of something? Could he have googled your name and come here?

Also, you ain't been around much lately. Gaming a lot? Could that be giving him the irrits?

I'm a guy. I know guys can be dicks and do dick things (there's a reson they're called 'dicks' ). I get very short with my SO when she wants to discuss a problem for the 12th time in 2 days, or drags up something that happened 2 decades ago. Given a choice, guys won't talk things through. I'm also aware that you might come back in a few hours and say, "Sorry, I really flared up at not much". It happens.

FWIW, I'd go away for a few days, see how he likes it on his own. Don't pick up after him so much - if he can't find his shit, his problem. It means you'll be living in an untidier place for a while at last, but damn, you're both working (clarification - are you working now? I'm assuming you are if you're paying rent) and chores should be split.

And if all else fails, come over to TNZ, and we'll set up the Temple of K'Tights, where you'll have the worship you deserve! We need more females with sass and the skills to deliver written karate chops to... certain posters.

(ANd for all you offended by my generalisations, look at my av, and imagine him saying, "Bite me.").

 

[Gryffindorian]

Posted by Australis:

And if all else fails, come over to TNZ, and we'll set up the Temple of K'Tights, where you'll have the worship you deserve!

Yes, KT. Why don't you leave your partner now (without trying to work out any of the problems first) and let a bunch of horny on-line strangers take his place?

 

[Daneel]

Sorry to hear about your troubles, Kirk's_Tights. Now, relationships are pretty much the last thing I'm qualified to give advice on, but it seems obvious even to me that what you've described is not what a relationship should be. Yes, there will always be arguments, but there should also always be respect, and it doesn't sound like this guy has any for you.

I say you tell him to either shape up or GTFO. If you think this relationship is salvageable (and if you actually want to salvage it), then make it clear to him that you won't tolerate any of his bullshit any longer. Perhaps couples counselling would be a good idea, if you're up for that sort of thing.

KT, one of the things I like most about you is your spunky nature -- you've definitely got a lot of spirit, and it sounds like your relationship is killing it. You've never taken any crap from anyone on this board, and you certainly don't need to take any from someone in real life, especially not the person who's supposed to be your life-partner.

You may have some tough decisions to make in the coming days -- I don't envy that, but it seems you've hit a crisis point, so it is necessary. I just hope you make the decision that is best for you. Good luck, and just remember, you're awesome.

 

[Kestra]

Posted by Australis:

And if all else fails, come over to TNZ, and we'll set up the Temple of K'Tights, where you'll have the worship you deserve!

Yes, KT. Why don't you leave your partner now (without trying to work out any of the problems first) and let a bunch of horny on-line strangers take his place?

Oh come on dude, I was with you until this post. Obviously Australis is just joking around. She can take care of herself around here.

 

[Gryffindorian]

I say you tell him to either shape up or GTFO. If you think this relationship is salvageable (and if you actually want to salvage it), then make it clear to him that you won't tolerate any of his bullshit any longer. Perhaps couples counselling would be a good idea, if you're up for that sort of thing.

Best piece of advice I've read so far.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Posted by Australis:

And if all else fails, come over to TNZ, and we'll set up the Temple of K'Tights, where you'll have the worship you deserve!

Yes, KT. Why don't you leave your partner now (without trying to work out any of the problems first) and let a bunch of horny on-line strangers take his place?

Oh come on dude, I was with you until this post. Obviously Australis is just joking around. She can take care of herself around here.

See, sometimes I can never tell who's joking. In any case, KT seems to be a very strong, independent type who can take care of herself.