Need to vent, long read so don't click if you don't feel like it

[Australis]

That's what the smiley was for. I like KT, admire her a lot, as a person. I like her nature, as Daneel said, and we could do with more like her around here.

The joke has a slightly serious note, in that we can build each other up, when things aren't so good IRL.

Mind you, you've got me wondering if TNZ would be the place to do that...

(PS: Thanks, Kestra)

 

[FPAlpha]

Sounds a lot like my dad now and in some things even worse.

Your man needs to grow up it seems.. there's no problem acting like a fool sometimes and do childish pranks. In fact i hope i never lose that my entire life but there comes a time where you just have to be in an adult relationship and take up the responsibilities.

Now i can't judge each of you because i don't know you but you need to ask yourself honestly if you want to spend your life with him and what the reasons are you want to be with him (or what made you get together in the first place).

It seems you are like my mom who's together with a guy who annoys her more than makes her happy but she got used to him because they are together for such a long time and have achieved so much together.

Personally i believe that if a person makes you angry or sad on a constant basis one needs to seriously evaluate the relationship and if need be make a hard decision.

Good luck.

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

My sympathies on what sounds like a bad situation. I do agree with drone though that counseling is a better immediate step then simple separation. It sounds like you guys have a problem with communication. He doesn't seem to take your feelings seriously. Communication is something that can be learned. His willingness to engage in counseling to save the relationship will give you a good indication of how committed he is to the relationship. I know everyone here has a high regard for you, and not just because of your looks, and wants to see you happy. You deserve it so don't be passive in accepting what you don't like. Good luck.

 

[jamestyler]

I say you tell him to either shape up or GTFO. If you think this relationship is salvageable (and if you actually want to salvage it), then make it clear to him that you won't tolerate any of his bullshit any longer. Perhaps couples counselling would be a good idea, if you're up for that sort of thing.

Seconded on that being good advice.

Here's a nice place to rant, but while it lets you unload it really doesn't do any long term good as we're the wrong audience.

He's the guy you need to talk to. Not just talking, but getting through to him - but listen to him too. We've heard one side of the story, you have your opinions set out - but if it's just your voice being heard it'll sound more like a rant or ultimatum instead of a conversation where things may be resolved.

It's easy to put of when anger is the first place he, or both of you - I don't know - will go to, but keep calm and persist. I had to do that with my girlfriend (in a fix it of frak off situation) and we're happier today.

 

[All Seeing Eye]

I'm late into the thread but i've got 4 words to say:

"show him the exit".

 

[captcalhoun]

kick his ass to the kerb, girl. he ain't worth it. no man who calls his SO a slut is not worth it.

 

[Squiggy]

And Tommy Hilfiger jeans? Really? Really?

 

[RAMA]

OK so there's the negative side...is there a positive list? Right now it seems as if there's no redeeming value to being with him..if there's not much of a positive list, then get out of that relationship sooner rather than later.

RAMA

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I thought about making a long, detailed post, but why say in 5000 words what I can say in 32?

It's not working. Either both of you have to work at fixing it, or it's over. If you don't want to fix it--or he doesn't want to fix it--get out.

 

[The Sneeze Police]

I am a married female and while not qualified as a counselor or a marriage expert, I think I can still give some observations similar to many in the thread.

Being called a f--g slut is unacceptable.

Being called a slut by someone who doesn't contribute to the rent or groceries is unacceptable. Being called names is unacceptable.

Trying to hook up with girls when you are in a common law marriage or long term relationship is unacceptable.

Being unpleasant and angry-possessive is unacceptable...and makes me wonder about other more serious issues.

Paying the all the rent, paying to feed yourself, grocery shopping, cleaning, most of the cooking, pet care...and what does he contibute? Maintenance? Yard care?

Spending money on himself while sneering at your more frugal needs..when you pay the rent? Unacceptable. Hates living there, but you pay the rent? Unacceptable.

Childish, rude, abusive arrogant behavior? Unacceptable.

I have to say for me...there are so many things that would be a deal breaker for me. Get help to get this fixed or get help to get safely out. I doubt he will let a good deal like you go without a fght...and I do not necessarily mean that in a good way.

 

[Guartho]

Move in with Squiggy. He's appreciated you ever since you first set eyes on each other in CW's epic fail thread.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Move in with Squiggy. He's appreciated you ever since you first set eyes on each other in CW's epic fail thread.

I don't know how TNZ could handle the two of them living together. I can already see attention-whoring threads filled with PDA. Oh, God... I've seen it! I can't unsee it!

 

[Thespeckledkiwi]

Move in with Squiggy. He's appreciated you ever since you first set eyes on each other in CW's epic fail thread.

I don't know how TNZ could handle the two of them living together. I can already see attention-whoring threads filled with PDA. Oh, God... I've seen it! I can't unsee it!

*smashes you in the head with a cinder block* There...Did that help?

Yeah we don't need Squiggs anywhere near KT...That would cause an epic level of whoreness on the boards that would be unprecedented.

Plus then who would love CoolEddie? I guess I can...Though he's a little rough when drunk.

 

[Squiggy]

I endorse the preceeding statement and/or product.

I can see how the two of us knocking boots would be a bad thing. One, shes WAAAAY out of my league and showing interest in me would either mean shes given up on life or there's some tear in the space-time technobabble.

Two, work wouldn't approve of me living with a filthy Canukistani, even if she is a native born Amurkan. Another birther movement would develop and our country doesn't need any more mental retardation...

...even if I do pay my own rent

 

[Thespeckledkiwi]

I endorse the preceeding statement and/or product.

I can see how the two of us knocking boots would be a bad thing. One, shes WAAAAY out of my league and showing interest in me would either mean shes given up on life or there's some tear in the space-time technobabble.

Two, work wouldn't approve of me living with a filthy Canukistani, even if she is a native born Amurkan. Another birther movement would develop and our country doesn't need any more mental retardation...

...even if I do pay my own rent

Squiggs, you're out of my league, so saying she's out of your league is insane ...You're on the same level of awesomness.

Canukistani? She's Pakistani? I didn't know that. Huh.

You work at NASA...I don't think you're that dumb...

Oh God...I feel like a whore. Someone, get a hose and spray me!

 

[Aurian]

Consider your options KT. Do you love him? How does he make you feel?

I think it sounds very bad. I would, and I have, left in that situation. He can go live with his parents.

 

[RJDiogenes]

There's no reason to take that kind of treatment. If that's how he treats people, especially the woman he's living with, he doesn't deserve the company of another Human Being. Send him away, mourn, and then find somebody with enough class to treat you with respect.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I can already see attention-whoring threads filled with PDA.

*gets popcorn*

 

[pookha]

My sympathies on what sounds like a bad situation. I do agree with drone though that counseling is a better immediate step then simple separation. It sounds like you guys have a problem with communication. He doesn't seem to take your feelings seriously. Communication is something that can be learned. His willingness to engage in counseling to save the relationship will give you a good indication of how committed he is to the relationship. I know everyone here has a high regard for you, and not just because of your looks, and wants to see you happy. You deserve it so don't be passive in accepting what you don't like. Good luck.

sorry but after he told her this..

so he starts calling me a 'stupid fucking slut' (which is ironic because he's the only man I have ever been with ........

he should be out the door.
and if he wants to try and get back in then go to counseling.
then he has to court her and win his way back in.

as a woman i agree with elk.
once a guy talks to you that way. and you are one paying all the rent and all the bills he is out.

plus i still think there is a good chance he is already cheating on her.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Grain of salt, grain of salt, KT.