Caption Contest 32: the subcommanders of command

[Triskelion]

I'm putting this one on my facebook page. If I had a facebook page.

Well time to get out the listerine to wash the taste of the last contest away and to get ready for a whole new course of overcooked wit! Congratulations to all who participated. There were some funny ha ha ones and funny hmm ones and even a few disturbing images that will take a little therapy to cope with. So, another successful Enterprise caption contest!


But first, a Public Service Announcement:

And now for...

First Image:

TRAVIS:"Make sure you Photoshop a sombrero on him, Commander."

TRIP:"Waaaaaaaaaaaaay ahead of ya, Senor Travis..."

TRIP: Crap, I keep getting lens flare!

Starfleet Dossier Incompetency Hearing Evidence Vol 1. Section 2346
The moment before Asteroid Collision

Second Image:

Archer: "I went on safari in Africa and saw a gazelle give birth. Within minutes the baby was able to stand. A few moments later it was able to run from predators. ... ... ... Then I shot it."

T'POL:"...and there...on the shuttlepod hatch handle...was a BORG HOOK!!!"

Kudos and babe magnets to cooleddie74, Nerys Myk, SFRabid, and NXOner!

cooleddie74 wins the special Vulcan Bifurcated award for TWO wins in this contest! As always, cooleddie74, you deliver on time every time!

NXOner, welcome to the winner's circle! Hope it's the first of many for you!



Congratulations Winners!

Your Prize....

A Red Shirt! (One previous owner)


Our next contest examines what happens when you leave a Vulcan in charge but forget to give her any orders, while you visit the relaxing spa getaway Canamar.

____________________

Give 'er all she's got, laddie!

 

[Rat Boy]

Mayweather (thinking): You know, if they gave me a damn line in this episode, I could warn her that we are about to hit that shuttlepod.

Only Hoshi could understand the tech support operators.

Guy: "What wonderful hands she has!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Hoshi: "It's the Klingons. They're saying ... Show ... Us ... Your ... <pulls out earpiece> I can't make out the next word."

Guy: "You should go both ways."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Shuttlepod: "Argh! This is Archer, come in Enterprise! I've lost control of the shuttlepod, I'm going down! Mayday!"

T'Pol (thinking): Hmmm, where should I hang my portraits? Dog'll have to go, of course. How much bigger are these quarters, anyway?

Shuttlepod: "T'Pol! Help!"

Hoshi (thinking): Okay, remain calm. Subcommander T'Pol has just transmitted a warning from the planet's surface, that the Carnivoramorph may be aboard. Act casual, act casual!

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Reporter: "Subcommander T'Pol, is it true that Captain Archer's dying wish was not, in fact, 'Give T'Pol command of the ship and all my life savings', but in fact 'Get this murderous Vulcan psycho off of my bridge!!!'"?

T'Pol: "No comment".

 

[Mistral]

Vulcan women have an odd approach to masturbation.

 

[Mistral]

Hoshi: "Apparently, our warranty has expired. They want us to stand by to find out how to extend it further."

 

[Captain Crow]

T'Pol: It is inappropriate at this time to be doing your "Carnac the Magnificent" impression Ensign Sato.

Hoshi: That will be $22.54 sir. Please drive up to the window.

 

[Triskelion]

T'Pol: Ensign Mayweather, unhook the grappler.
Mayweather: Yes ma'am!
T'Pol: I said the grappler, not the chapstick.

Hoshi: Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. <eyes T'Pol> Mm-hmm.
T'Pol: You best not be talking about me.

T'Pol: <thinking> Commander Tucker's neuropressure or a pap smear and bikini wax?

 

[cooleddie74]

T'POL:"Notify Admiral Forrest we've located Billy Joel. We will be towing his disabled shuttlepod back to Vega Colony shortly...after Dr. Phlox has sobered him up."

HOSHI:"Wait. Lemme check...I'll ask.

They want to talk to a Crewman Dick Hertz."

T'POL:"I cannot let anyone see the split in my rear seam. Damn substandard tailoring."

 

[cooleddie74]

"The only life form aboard appears to be Ensign Mayweather.

We CAN destroy the pod with one spatial torpedo with no net loss to either weapons inventory or onboard crew efficiency."

 

[Mach5]

T'POL (to Trip): "You told you were going to hide that tape somewhere safe! YOU PROMISED!!!"

 

[cooleddie74]

T'POL:"In my defense, it was my pon farr.

And Trip was liquored up."

 

[NXOner]

Captain, I must object. I am aware you feel the need to improve Starfleet's diplomatic and interplanetary relations but starting up a Shuttlepod Display Team is not a logical approach.

 

[cooleddie74]

"Mister Tucker was right after all.

The new trailer hitch did NOT hold."

 

[frenchman]

T'Pol:" who is in this shuttlepod?"
Reed (off screen) : "a guy named Brannon Braga"
T'Pol : "launch all torpedos we have!!!!!!!!!"

 

[Hopeful Romantic]

Shuttlepod: "Argh! This is Archer, come in Enterprise! I've lost control of the shuttlepod, I'm going down! Mayday!"

T'Pol (thinking): Hmmm, where should I hang my portraits? Dog'll have to go, of course. How much bigger are these quarters, anyway?

Shuttlepod: "T'Pol! Help!"

Game over!

 

[Nerys Myk]

HOSHI: What am I wearing?


A blue jumpsuit and black undershirt.


Yeah,this is my first day. Why do you ask?

 

[SFRabid]

Trip: "For some reason I am no longer in the mood."

Hoshi: "T'Pol, Governor Sanford from South Carolina is on a secure channel. He wants to know where the next meeting will be."

T'Pol to reporter: "Be sure to photograph my good side."
Reporter: "I just did."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Shuttlepod: "Argh! This is Archer, come in Enterprise! I've lost control of the shuttlepod, I'm going down! Mayday!"

T'Pol (thinking): Hmmm, where should I hang my portraits? Dog'll have to go, of course. How much bigger are these quarters, anyway?

Shuttlepod: "T'Pol! Help!"

Game over!

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it