Caption Contest 31: snappin' turtles

[Triskelion]

And that wraps another dolphin-safe whaleburger of a contest.
Lots of good entries this time, and some fresh faces Welcome y'all and if you're lurking, feel free to jump in! All captions are welcome - good, bad, and ugly!

And now without further ado...

First Image:

Archer: "Should they be floating upside down?"

Archer: "Whales? What whales? Oh we got rid of them a long time ago. I hope you're not too upset about it."

"Hi Les. It's great you could attend our little Executives conference in person for a change...

By now you'll have noticed the tank is starting to fill with raw sewage.

Here's how this negotiation will go:

Do you see how many digits I'm holding up? That's the number of seasons we should've got..."

Archer: This may not be enough saline for my first officer's implants.

Archer: "I've always wanted to say this: 'Oh, the huge manatee!'"

Second Image:

HAYES: I'm on the crapper. Make it quick.

"Hayes to Archer.

I'm in Commander T'Pol's quarters. Preparing to open and sniff around in her panty drawer now."

Hays: "Reed. Get over here. You have to see this?"
Reed: "Where are you?"
Hays: "At the academy, women's quarters, under the steps. They have the new uniforms. MINISKIRTS!"

"Captain Archer, I've found the nuclear vessel-and, sir, it's the Enterprise!"

Bree: "I've just about had it with your perverse fantasies!"

This week we had a new member in the winner's circle, ChristopherPike, with a caption that speaks for a lot of us Enterprise fans I'm sure! Great job, and looking forward to more from you!

Man I just love giving wins to some folks who continually bring the funny! You know, your middyseaforts, SFRabids, Nerys Myks, and the irrepressible cooleddie74s. Welcome back to the spotlight gents! And this week we had another special appearance from a very special member, Mistral! He classes this lot up better than we desoive! And a special Trifecta Award to Rat Boy who won with no less than three captions! When it rains it pours.


Congratulations winners! You get:


OLDSCHOOL PENCIL & PAPER PWNED!

Your Rock Gnome's got 2 hit points and a +20 narcolepsy attack!


Our next contest asks the question, what do you get when you leave your ship in the hands of Dumb and Dumber for a little bourbon and beans? Jim Beam down to the Rogue Planet - and bring your bug spray!

_________________________

Dive in!

 

[Rat Boy]

Hoshi: "Pon Farr acting up again, Subcommander?"

Mayweather: "Dayuuuuuuum!"

Trip: "I'm putting this on my Facebook page."

Archer: "All I'm saying is why do I have to sit on the boxes. Why can't I have a chair?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Tucker: "It ain't every day you see a Vulcan nerve-pinching her own nipples."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Hoshi: "Okay, so who told Shran that Archer bonked Talas?"

Trip: "Heh, heh. Oh that's gotta hurt!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Mayweather: "Is this one of the episodes where I have a line?"
Tucker: "No."
<Mayweather turns back, fiddles with controls, stares straight ahead.>

 

[Rat Boy]

Mayweather (whispering): "Great idea getting the Orions to polish the captain's chair with their tongues."

Trip: "I'm putting this on my Facebook page."

 

[cooleddie74]

TRAVIS:"No offense, Captain...but if I were you I'd have Doctor Phlox look at the testicle on the left. It shouldn't be droopin' down THAT low."

ARCHER:"So...hunt anything endangered to extinction lately?"

 

[Alrik]

Trip: "Smile Cap'n."

Archer: "I told you, I want to look serious...in charge....and Travis, that means enough with the Charlie Chan impersonation. You know I can never keep a straight face when you do that."

T'Pol: "I believe that if you miss after you have Chanced It, you must then drink."

Archer: "Damn. I never was any good at Quarters."

 

[Alrik]

Hoshi: "This is the lamest Frat Party EVER."

 

[SFRabid]

Hoshi thinking: "Hmmp. Every time T'Pol walks in Trip grabs a camera and Mayweather gets all goofy."

Archer: "I went on safari in Africa and saw a gazelle give birth. Within minutes the baby was able to stand. A few moments later it was able to run from predators. ... ... ... Then I shot it."

 

[Shatmandu]

Tucker: "This is much better than those upskant pictures I've been taking."

 

[Mistral]

Mistral says: " Thanks for the win but *looks in pants* I'm a real boy!"

Archer: "...and I say, it's not over! I still hold all of Australia!"

 

[cooleddie74]

TRIP:"Say cheese!!"

TRAVIS:"More like cheesY.

I haven't seen a smile that goofy since the last time I caught a glimpse of my own butt gettin' out of the shower!!"

ARCHER:"So...hunt much?"

T'POL:"I believe what our captain is trying to say is...slaughter indiscriminately often?"

 

[cooleddie74]

TRAVIS:"Better zip up your zipper first, sir.

Or else the kids back in that school are gonna be gettin' a call from Chris Hansen. And YOU, too. "

 

[frenchman]

Connor : "ok, Jinx-01, you have around 10GB of pics about me on Photobucket, now it's my turn.... say cheese"
Anthony : "none about me?"
Linda :"pfuuuuuuu"

 

[cooleddie74]

TRAVIS:"Make sure you Photoshop a sombrero on him, Commander."

TRIP:"Waaaaaaaaaaaaay ahead of ya, Senor Travis..."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Thanks for the win and the compliment!

Hoshi: Why are you taking a picture of that skinny Vulcan bitch? You ought to be taking a picture of that goofy-ass, buck-toothed helmsman.

Archer: For passage off this rock, I'll trade you these two females. If not, then I have a goofy-ass, buck-toothed helmsman you can have.

 

[ChristopherPike]

Triskelion, Cheers for the win!

As one of the delegates stormed off, Archer knew he should've heeded T'Pol's warning...

Burboun and resequenced baked beans can indeed be an explosive combination.

Fortunately thanks to her nasal numbing agent, she could never be accused of having dealt it.

 

[Nerys Myk]

HOSHI: I can't decide who's the bigger pair of boobs.

 

[Triskelion]

Hoshi: So are you guys gonna delete that Qbert game before the captain gets back?
Trip: Uh huh, just let me get proof of my high score.
Mayweather: Qbert qbert qbert...
T'Pol: ...

Buzaan, Shiraht and Damrus: How much for the cabin boy?
Hoshi: *snerf*
Archer: He's, uh, not for sale. Unless you guys have any soft serve icecream makers around here?