Caption Contest 23: something i ate

[Triskelion]

This device will simulate my cold, rough fingernail rooting around your anus. All I can say is thank goodness for medical advancements. I save a bundle on rubber gloves!

Malcolm: Truth or dare?
Hoshi: Truth. Always truth.

Hoshi: Meh. Still better than showing him my boob and knowing what he'll be doing for the next few nights.

 

[SFRabid]

Reed: "Doc, why does that thermometer taste so bad?"
Phlox: "I'm sorry. It seems that I forgot to replace the protective cover after using it as a probe."

Hoshi thinking: (Darn. He caught me looking.)
T'Pol: "Mr. Reed. It is appropriate to wear shorts in the decon chamber."

T'Pol: "What are they saying?"
Hoshi: "They are worms. I don't think they are saying anything."
T'Pol: "If you are not capable of communicating with other species then why are you here?"
Hoshi: "Wait. I'm starting to understand them. Yes. I GOT IT. They want to know if the bitch with the pointy ears has a stick up her ass."

 

[SFRabid]

Reed: "I'll show you my rash if you will show me yours."

 

[Triskelion]

I thought they were chili beans.
Now, Mr Reed, bend over and let's see if the ambassadors don't come out on their own.

Malcolm: Which one of you kept calling out "Barney"?

Ready to go fishin' T'Pol?
Hell yeah. Catch us some big ass space bass.

 

[John Picard]

Malcolm: "Um, perhaps you and T'Pol could, you know, start a tickle fight. Then we'll see where things go from there."

 

[Rat Boy]

Reed: "How many more bloody shots do I need?"

Phlox: "About thirty. You are going to Risa, after all."

T'Pol: "Trust me, stick a pair of these in your bra and you'll never have to worry about never being noticed again."

*Later*

Reed: "Is there something different about you, Ensign?"

T'Pol: *snicker*

 

[cooleddie74]

PHLOX:"This might hurt a little.

Not the hypo injection. My gloved fist in your butt."

REED:"Can't wait to get out of here.

Chef is making Spaghetti-O's and Dinosaur pasta tonight."

HOSHI:"They look like worms."

T'POL:"That reminds me. Commander Tucker is due for his next series of shots and innoculations in sickbay."

 

[cooleddie74]

"I'm not sure where it originated, Lieutenant...

but this formula once made my great-grandfather high with the munchies for a solid WEEK."

 

[Rat Boy]

Reed: "Look, I came in here for a headache. Why'd you cut off my right leg?"

 

[cooleddie74]

REED:"Are we done yet? I have to report to my station in twenty-five minutes."

PHLOX:"Almost.

This is the final booster shot. To protect you from the finale in case your cyanide pill fails."

HOSHI:"The gummi worms on this ship have gone bad.

BIG TIME."

REED:"Please don't tell the Captain or Commander Tucker about my fantasies, ladies.

The less they know that I once wanted to be a Vegas showgirl...the better."

 

[cooleddie74]

HOSHI:"The Vulcan Database was wrong, Subcommander.

Klingon cereal DOESN'T have marshmelons in it."

 

[Piper]

Early reports that Enterprise was going to be a much more blue sort of Star Trek turned out to be surprisingly accurate.

Hoshi's chronic neck problem did occasionally have its uses.

Malcolm wondered whether it was wrong he was beginning to become aroused.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SATO: That wasn't me.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"The procedure is easy and relatively painless. But, in the future, Mr. Reed, may I suggest using a creature less known for burrowing than the Andorian swamp rat?"

"Mr. Reed, I don't want to alarm you, but there appears to be some sort of rodent emerging from your boxers."

 

[Triskelion]

Reed (thinking): Glad I took all those viagara. Now to turn on the charm.

Don't worry Mr Reed, we'll have your right arm feeling better in no time.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Phlox:" Don't worry, its self lubricating and warms up as it goes in"
MALCOLM:"Huh?"

HOSHI:"I hope no one heard that?"

Malchom:"Good God, Is that what sushi does to you?

T'Pol: "Now you know why we Vulcan's really complain about the Smell"

 

[Nerys Myk]

REED: If you ladies want to avoid tanlines, you should take off your tops.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Whatever happens in the Decon Chamber stays in the Decon Chamber.

Phlox: Mr. Reed, I know what they say about the Decon Chamber but I must tell you that it doesn't catch every type of STI. So Drop 'em and bend over as you humans like to say.

 

[Nerys Myk]

CROSSOVER CAPTION

REED: That Vulcan's checking out my butt.

KIRK: That Vulcan's checking out my butt.

PICARD: Computer, freeze program RikerNxDecon.....ahhhh...

Erase character designated "Reed"...er....

make underwear skimpier.

 

[Alyssa]

T'Pol: "What are they saying?"
Hoshi: "They are worms. I don't think they are saying anything."
T'Pol: "If you are not capable of communicating with other species then why are you here?"
Hoshi: "Wait. I'm starting to understand them. Yes. I GOT IT. They want to know if the bitch with the pointy ears has a stick up her ass."

OMG that is soooo a winner.

P.S Thanks for the win!!