Movie Caption Contest #37: Off-Duty

[Rat Boy]

Well, looks like this format change shaped up more like Blu-Ray than HD-DVD, which of course is good. On to the winners:

Decker, off-screen: ``Doctor, I bet you he's standing in some random room somewhere, pretending he's found the bridge on his own and insisting it's everyone else who doesn't know their way around this ship.''

Captain Kirk: Conclusive proof that straight men can't decorate...or dress themselves.

Kirk: "Why doesn't this door open!?"

Kirk: "Shh. Shh"

"Hope I don't get buried on one of these one day"

Well this proves it. Contemporary Trek really did piss on Kirk's grave.

Picard: Remember? Remember what?

"Will...do you ever fantasize about cutting someone's head off and drinking their life's blood with a krazy straw?

I...I know I do. A LOT."

Picard: That little shit Wesley has been popping his zits on my mirror again.

Photoshops ahoy:

Batman: "At least we got a decent film franchise."
Robin: "Holy sequel, Batman! You forgot about that George Clooney flick?"

Temporal Investigations rounds up the usual suspects.

TOS-era Kirk: They will force me to wear this in the future? That's it, the next time I have to fight a Gorn I'll let him kill me.

Damn! I think he's got a fan script.

PICARD: Crap!!! That's not right! Eh, who'd gonna notice? No one pays attention to that stuff.

For those of you keeping score, Outpost4 and Nerys Myk become our first two-time winners in the same contest. At least I think they are. They say that memory's the second thing to go, but I forgot the first one.

This week, we continue with our theme format, this time exploring our heroes' leisurely pursuits. You know, lounging by the fire, camping with the honeys, and finding an android in a haystack. Oh, then there's Sulu hitting on some guy in a helo. Have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Oh, boo-hoo. 'I hate my promotion, I hate this swanky apartment, I hate the giant pension I'm going to get when I retire.' Cry me a river."

Sulu: "Come here often, sailor?"

Pilot: "Dude, I'm the army."

Geordi: "No, no, no! The hot tub should be facing west, west dammit!"

Boy: "Find that needle yet?"

Data: "Still looking."

 

[EliyahuQeoni]

Kirk:"Bones, I have this not so fresh feeling..."

Sulu: "I'll blow ya for a ride to Golden Gate Park"

 

[Shatmandu]

Uhura, off-screen: "Bring me a towel! You used the last one! And I clogged the toilet!"
Kirk: "Biggest. Mistake. Ever."

Sulu: "So I'll put on the diapered angel costume and you'll drop me right in the middle of the parade, right?"

Geordi: "Now that I can see, I've got to get a better grade of white women on my staff ..."

Spiner: "The guy from 'Hardcastle and McCormick' can't act for shit."

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Kirk: ... Don't get me wrong. I'd lather Sulu up and ride him like a big boy, if you know what I mean.

McCoy: No, Jim. I don't think I do know what you mean.

Sulu: Mind if I take a turn with the stick?

Pilot: We're still talking about the Huey, right?

Geordi: "Both of you? At the same time? You guys are going to love the Vulcans!"

Data: "... and how would it benefit me to 'be your little bitch?'"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: You drunk enough yet?
MCCOY: Nope.

GEORDI: The historical records don't lie. As you can see, we have a threesome on this spot in 10 minutes. Disrupting the time line is a bad idea.

 

[Michael]

Thanks for the honor, Rat Boy!

Jonathan Frakes: "Now what does Gates' stunt double do in the shot?"

 

[The Cutest of Borg]

Sulu: "So, ready to join the mile high club?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Pilot: "Don't I remember you from the war? You were standing next to some colonel that looked like John Wayne."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"D'ya ever think about retiring for good...settling down somewhere on a colony world with lots of trees and lakes...

and starting an underground cross-species prostitution ring?"

SULU:"Don't worry...I can handle her.

I flew something similar back in my Bath House days."

"Good work, ladies.

This is the first time a female member of my engineering staff has EVER cleared the final level of a HALO game!"

DATA:"...why am I smelling human feces?"

 

[scottydog]

Geordi: "Connect the auxiliary fusion generator to the deflector shield grid, bypassing the electro plasma system with the navigational deflector...."

Other women: "...zzzzz..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk (thinking): Uh oh, Bones' beans have finally kicked in. Maybe I shouldn't sit so close to the fireplace.

Sulu: "Is that a crescent wrench in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"

LeVar Burton prepares to direct the theatrical version of "2 Girls, 1 Cup."

Boy: "Why is that cow trying to nibble on your leg?"

Data: "That is not my leg."

 

[Michael]

LeVar Burton prepares to direct the theatrical version of "2 Girls, 1 Cup."

"2 Girls, 1 Padd" actually.

 

[cooleddie74]

"This reminds me of my childhood. Sitting next to a fireplace...drinking booze...having an older guy in a leisure suit staring at me uncomfortably."

"Hi. Hikaru Sulu.

Federal Helicopter Pilot Butt Inspector. Can I see your I.D.?"

"No. Sorry, ladies...this won't work.

I'm not going to put a huge picture of Oprah on the hull of Cochrane's warp ship."

DATA:"Am I to understand this activity and play involves Eddie Albert and a pitchfork at some point or another?"

 

[Triskelion]

So what's Chuck Norris like in real life? I bet a hell of a lot easier to work with, am I right? At least physical scars can heal.

Hey...why did you give me the jumbo calculator?

I don't understand. Every year I wait, and every year the Great Pumpkin fails to show up. Perhaps I should make a sacrifice to appease him.

Kirk: ...and that was my third Andorian.
McCoy: You sexist bastard, you couldn't ask them to stay? You knew I was coming over.

 

[Triskelion]

I mean, look at it Bones. Do you know how hard it is to surf for porn on that setup? I've got carpal tunnel so bad I have to pee into a whiskey glass.

 

[Defcon]

Woman with Knife (thinking): I swear, before he bores me to sleep like that other woman, I'll cut his throat.

 

[EliyahuQeoni]

Kirk:"Night after night I have the same recurring dream with some strange bald guy in assless chaps."

 

[Haggis and tatties]

Kirk" I cant believe i bought a PC from Harry Mudd!!!!!"

Sulu.." Nice chopper".

Geordie" w...a...r..p fi.....eld e.....gi......nes buck...back too full...."
Women 1 " Geordie just put your visor back on....please"

Kid." Now that i have deactivated you tin man, lets see just how fire proof you really are"..:

 

[cultcross]

Catherine Tate manages to talk her way into another successful sci-fi franchise.