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Movie Caption Contest #37: Off-Duty

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LeVar sees the script for Nemesis.
 
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Why Kirk doesn't get so many visitors to his apartment.

McCoy: So where did you find that old Commodore PET computer you got sitting back there, Jim?

Kirk: I got it on Rigel IV after winning a bet with Spock, Scotty and a one legged Orion slave girl with a limp and a bad case of crotch rot. Wanna hear about it?
 
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"Bones, it's funny how sickbay seems to resemble my apartment in San Fransisco more and more each day"

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"No I haven't seen this Hiro person. Why do you keep calling him my son?"

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Jennifer was jealous. Geordi got a padd, Sally got a bio-neural interface that she could access when she closed her eye but what did she get?

A fecking stapler.


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"After careful analysis I have determined this is in fact a stack of needles"
 
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Kirk: "So, what do you think, Bones? Could a Vulcan and a guy like me..."
Bones: "What?!"
Kirk: "Nothing."

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Sulu: "Pardon me, but I don't suppose you know where I can find a nuclear wessel?"
Leonard Nimoy: "CUT! I'm sorry, George, but this just isn't working. Koenig!"

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LeVar Burton: "Hey, is this the right script? I actually have lines!"

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Data: "Fascinating. It appears that hay does, in fact, 'itch like crazy.'"
 
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Kirk:"Its the way he just sits there staring, Bones. It just freaks me out"

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McCoy:"Did you just see somebody run by?"
 
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Denny: Our sleepovers are the best.
Alan: Truly, the most fun that two men can have, together.

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Geordi: ... and if I move my fingers to the left. How does that feel?
Red: Just a little to the right, Sir. Yes, right there. That is the ticket.
Brunette:
Is there any thing that I can work on. I like being useful.
Geordi:
Yes, I have some thing that you can work on. You'll have to get a bit dirty, though.
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Data: I believe that I have found the Needle in the haystack. I believe that I have found several Needles.
Kid: Haw Haw!
 
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"I'm not sure, I found it lying over there. Hmmm... can either one of you do this?"

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"Clearly that didn't work. Lets try parallel parking instead"
 
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Shatner: "It's too bad they didn't listen to me."
Kelley: "They never would have gone for it: the country's first televised interracial DP ..."



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Sulu: "Okay, but only if our balls touch ..."



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Geordi: "I think it stands for 'Double Penetration' ..."




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Little Kid: "Is it itchy?"
Data: "No. I am analyzing the ratio of hay to rat droppings."
 
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Shatner: "I don't care for sequels."
De Kelley: "I don't mind them: I've signed to do 'Night of the Lepus II.'"
 
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And then in the locker room...he was wearing pantyhose and go-go boots under his uniform. So yeah, you were right. Green eye shadow.

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Howlin' Mad Murdock: Warp speed Mr Sulu! Let's go rescue Captain Kirk from the evil lizardmen of Gorn -
B.A. Barracus: Shut up fool!

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Denny Crane:
I love it when a plan comes together.
 
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"Hi. I'm George Takei.

You may remember me from such upcoming programs as I'M GOING TO CORNHOLE YOU RAW, MR. HELICOPTER MAN..."


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GEORDI:"According to this, the prop department says we have to recycle and share."

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"This blows.

I was promised free pig feces and a buxom farhmand."


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"...and that's when I told Carol:

Keep the little bastard. He doesn't really look like me anyways."
 
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Pilot: "So you're a stick man, eh?"

Sulu: "Stick AND rubber, I mean rudder, baby!"

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Speak & Spell: "Now spell: bifurcated."
Geordi: "Hmm."
Catherine Tate: "Let me fink. B-O-V-V..."
 
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"I'm now fantasizing about women over 40. What's happened to me, Bones?"


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"This is the cockpit, right?


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Assembling the tent, step 14: Attach tent poles 5 & 6 together and slide them through the outer loops C, D, J & K.


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Data: So, there is a difference between Hey, there and Hay, there.
 
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Data: "Unless I guess your name I have to turn all of this straw into gold? Please explain to me why?"
 
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