Or he simply didn't understand what it all meant to him until he had it ripped away?
I was going to post something like this but
@BillJ mentioned it first. Kirk's whole identity is wrapped up in the fact that he is his father's son. He joined Starfleet to try and live up to that ideal, that potential, and he gets out there and it isn't what he expected. It's like Bones said of being dieease and death wrapped up in darkness and silence.
Kirk is also facing his mortality a whole lot sooner than his Prime counterpart did. He has outlived his dad and has died himself. I'm not sure how I would react if I were to be my age and my dad was dead and I had outlived him so young. It would be a very surreal and emotionally difficult thing to navigate.
I feel like Kirk's arc has been simplified to the point that it has lost its emotional impact. Kirk is working on finding out what it means to be himself. If that is a small feat, than I would expect him to be done with it by ST 09. But, it isn't a small feat, so maybe it should be treated as a walk in the park.
These are thoughtful answers and I tend to agree with them. There really wasn't an emotional payoff for the Kirk monolog or the scene with McCoy. The Kirk-McCoy scene was a heavy moment that I thought was setting the tone for Kirk's story arc the rest of the way. As it was, it didn't seem to fit into the story at all. In fact, the story could've actually survived very well with Kirk's opening monolog and the scene with McCoy cut out. At least that's how I see it.
If Kirk had a story arc in TOS at all, part of it was his occasional realization that Enterprise cost him his personal life, and sometimes that hurt. The ship came to define him. It was his wife, mistress, and best friend, and it demanded all his attention to the exclusion of anything else. It could make him feel trapped.
Maybe in STB, magnified by the approaching birthday, Kirk is starting to realize their are personal costs to his adventuring spirit. With such an emotional birthday coming up, it just piles onto the feelings of how much he's giving up for his career. I thought McCoy's line about Kirk calling his mom was odd. It just hung there. Shouldn't Kirk's mom be calling
him on his birthday? Maybe they should've had McCoy ask Kirk if he was going to call Carol. Kirk could've given him a WTF look and one of those curt, annoyed answers, maybe even mentioning "opening old wounds." He could've told him Carol made it clear to him when she transferred that she wasn't going to compete with the Enterprise for him.
We see Kirk is coming to a crossroads in life with no turning back. To go on means having a commitment to the Enterprise at the expense of any other potential loves or other happiness in the future. To be Jim Kirk requires him to devote himself totally to one love, and at this point in his life, he's not sure any more that he wants it to be the Enterprise. The burden may be too great. The personal cost too high. Then go on with the story and the loss of the Enterprise.
Or, have a payoff for McCoy asking Jim if he's going to call his mom in the opening. At the end of the movie, just after McCoy surprises Kirk with the party, have him tell Kirk that before he has too much to drink, there's a call he needs to take. He escorts Kirk to a private alcove with a viewscreen. His mom is on screen. "You never got around to calling her, so -- " McCoy says. Kirk gives him a "but now?" look. "Doctor's orders," McCoy tells him as he walks off. She could tell him she heard he saved the world, again. She's glad he's OK. She's sorry for the loss of his ship and the deaths of his crew. That he must have good friends to care enough to throw their captain a party. Most poignantly to the story, she could tell him she worries about him, but she's proud of him, and she knows his dad would be very proud and happy to know his son has gone on to achieve so much. That his father would be proud to serve with him. Just a short scene to close the arc and make Kirk realize something he already concluded for himself, he is on the right track for him.
I don't know. Like I've said before, I think there was an emotional void in this movie after the McCoy-Kirk scene. It became more or less a light romp. The Kirk story arc was too weak for the tone it set early.
