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What If: Captain Riker of the USS Voyager

Withered?

I didn't even realize that Marina was attractive until First Contact.

7 years of annoying and doughy.

Besides, what's the lifespan of a Betazoid?

Dee could have 2 hundred years left to find another husband after she burries Will Riker.
 
2takesfrakes needs to come in and defend his man. :p
Be assured Captain Kathryn, that as you dig your graves deeper and deeper, I am ever-watchful, and full of care to ensure that every insult directed at Commander Riker and effort to discredit him is accurately recorded ... and bitterly remembered:

"Vasectomy?"

"Men are just like Dogs, except for the loyalty."

"I am pretty sure B'Elanna, Seven, and Janeway would team up and do something nasty to Riker for his chauvinistic remarks."

These are just a few of the highlights, but all will be dealt with ... as my anger continues to be kindled!!! :klingon:
 
Mental health is the Counsellors job.

Dee controls the graphic nudity locks on the holodeck, and the beholden crew despise her for it.
 
Insurrection robbed me.

Remember how hilarious Austin Powers was when they were hiding genitals with well placed props?

Multiply that by 200 people.
 
Riker could never make it through a Betazoid wedding. One glance at one of the younger, hotter attendees and nature would have betrayed him. Deanna kicks him in the Kobayashi Maru and calls off the whole thing.
 
*Riker's thoughts at a Betazoid wedding*

"Get a good look ladies. This dick is big enough to f*ck you all."

At which point the Betazoids overcome by Riker's passion all commence to pile on Wild Willie Tommy Riker. XP
 
Riker could never make it through a Betazoid wedding. One glance at one of the younger, hotter attendees and nature would have betrayed him. Deanna kicks him in the Kobayashi Maru and calls off the whole thing.
I'm pretty sure that all of the male attendees would probably visit sickbay for some kind of 12 hour anti-libido hypo before having to drop their pants.

Or at least libido-arresting enough to let them appear bigger than they are.
 
2takesfrakes needs to come in and defend his man. :p
Be assured Captain Kathryn, that as you dig your graves deeper and deeper, I am ever-watchful, and full of care to ensure that every insult directed at Commander Riker and effort to discredit him is accurately recorded ... and bitterly remembered:

"Vasectomy?"

"Men are just like Dogs, except for the loyalty."

"I am pretty sure B'Elanna, Seven, and Janeway would team up and do something nasty to Riker for his chauvinistic remarks."

These are just a few of the highlights, but all will be dealt with ... as my anger continues to be kindled!!! :klingon:

:lol: :lol:
 
Riker could never make it through a Betazoid wedding. One glance at one of the younger, hotter attendees and nature would have betrayed him. Deanna kicks him in the Kobayashi Maru and calls off the whole thing.
I'm pretty sure that all of the male attendees would probably visit sickbay for some kind of 12 hour anti-libido hypo before having to drop their pants.

Or at least libido-arresting enough to let them appear bigger than they are.

The words you were struggling for was "chemical castration".

Something the EMH was already doing to Voyager's crew, yet only Tom had the raging machismo to ignore those drugs tying down his trouser admiral to his knee.
 
And this

7mvtCKZ.gif


http://trekcore.com/blog/2013/10/exclusive-inside-boole-babbages-trek-vision/
 
There is one advantage to Riker being the Captain of Voyager.

I would no longer have to listen to people complain about "bipolar Janeway" blowing up the array and stranding Voyager in the DQ instead of setting a timer on the bomb and flying home.

But I wonder...

Would these same people deride Riker when he decides to blow up the array and strand Voyager in the DQ?

Or would they think it was a BOLD, TAKE NO PRISONERS move that only a "highly seasoned, balls to the wall" Officer that sat 2nd chair for 7 years on the FLAGSHIP of the fleet would make?

As for them simply flipping the sexes of the rest of the main characters, I doubt it.

DS9 already had a female XO with a male Commander / Captain, so Chakotay/Beltran's job is safe. To spice things up, they could always make Chakotay gay and have him crushing on Captain Riker.

Maybe Kim's sex would have been changed, but not the EMH. They already had an irascible female Doc on TNG (Pulaski Rocks!)

B' Elanna would still be female, cuz we've had a male (full) Klingon on both TNG & DS9 (yeah, I know, it was the same guy) so why go there again?

Maybe Paris could receive the "Starbuck" treatment, and provide enough bridge level sexual tension to upset the Betazoid that follows Riker to this new command... cuz SOMEBODY has to upset that woman SOMETIME. ;)

Neelix and Kes are safe in their current genders, although it is still debatable whether Kes would ever be safe around Riker. Especially if Deanna didn't join the crew for this simple "3 week journey" to capture the Maquis.

(Hmmm, if she did come along AND if Chakotay wasn't gay then we could upset the applecart by having Chak crushing on his Captain's wife. :alienblush: That sure would keep up the Maquis - Starfleet tension for more than 2 seasons. :rommie: )

Likewise, Tuvok is safe since we haven't really had a Vulcan regularly on TNG & DS9 since the female Lt. Selar on TNG. (Spock and his daddy don't count, they were merely on loan from TOS ;) )
 
The unfathomable Dr Selar only appeared in The Schizoid Man, but she was mentioned as being around some where in the background in 6 other episodes.

Suspicions, Tapestry, Remember me, Genesis, Yesterday's Enterprise and Subrosa.
 
There is one advantage to Riker being the Captain of Voyager.

I would no longer have to listen to people complain about "bipolar Janeway" blowing up the array and stranding Voyager in the DQ instead of setting a timer on the bomb and flying home.

But I wonder...

Would these same people deride Riker when he decides to blow up the array and strand Voyager in the DQ?

Or would they think it was a BOLD, TAKE NO PRISONERS move that only a "highly seasoned, balls to the wall" Officer that sat 2nd chair for 7 years on the FLAGSHIP of the fleet would make?

As for them simply flipping the sexes of the rest of the main characters, I doubt it.

DS9 already had a female XO with a male Commander / Captain, so Chakotay/Beltran's job is safe. To spice things up, they could always make Chakotay gay and have him crushing on Captain Riker.

Maybe Kim's sex would have been changed, but not the EMH. They already had an irascible female Doc on TNG (Pulaski Rocks!)

B' Elanna would still be female, cuz we've had a male (full) Klingon on both TNG & DS9 (yeah, I know, it was the same guy) so why go there again?

Maybe Paris could receive the "Starbuck" treatment, and provide enough bridge level sexual tension to upset the Betazoid that follows Riker to this new command... cuz SOMEBODY has to upset that woman SOMETIME. ;)

Neelix and Kes are safe in their current genders, although it is still debatable whether Kes would ever be safe around Riker. Especially if Deanna didn't join the crew for this simple "3 week journey" to capture the Maquis.

(Hmmm, if she did come along AND if Chakotay wasn't gay then we could upset the applecart by having Chak crushing on his Captain's wife. :alienblush: That sure would keep up the Maquis - Starfleet tension for more than 2 seasons. :rommie: )

Likewise, Tuvok is safe since we haven't really had a Vulcan regularly on TNG & DS9 since the female Lt. Selar on TNG. (Spock and his daddy don't count, they were merely on loan from TOS ;) )

That was awesome. :lol:

Riker becoming captain and Troi following him would turn into some weird TNG 2.0. Noooo. :scream::scream::scream:
 
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