I remember being a lot younger and thinking, yeah, I love kick-ass girls, but most of them really aren't that realistic, especially if they don't have superpowers. It's easy to see how that makes sense on a surface level. But it doesn't last long as an idea if you actually take two seconds to stop staring yourself blind at just the female characters and actually compare them to all the other characters surrounding them.
The truth is that the 90 pound female who can kick-ass is not one ounce less realistic than any of the other action movie/show style characters. It's the entire genre that is fundamentally unrealistic, not the female characters specifically.
Sheer cussed determination does not really allow you to shrug off major cuts, bruises and broken bones and just keep fighting (Die Hard, and every movie later inspired by it). Even a musclebound giant like Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot actually plow through an entire group of armed opponents like a conquering hero. No amount of skill or training makes you untouchable or, in fact, anywhere near close to untouchable (Bourne, John Wick, etc). Superior strength is only one possible advantage a fighter can have and history is littered with examples of weaker fighters using other types of advantages to defeat stronger opponents, as well as examples of super-skilled fighters who fell to superior numbers, strategy or plain bad luck.
To go very specifically Trek related, I'd say Kira as a hand to hand fighter even in a realistic world could very easily defeat men like Picard, Bashir, McCoy, Paris, Kim, etc (which is by no means a guarantee she would always win against them, as such guarantees never exist in the real world). So to criticize the franchise for having Kira get into fights but apparently have no problem with men who are obviously just as physically unsuited to it doing the same (having a few dozen extra pounds does not make them more believable as fighters) is just not credible.