Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest #148 The Maquis Maki Roll

[Catarina]

B'Elanna: Tom, I know you love 20th century Earth entertainment, but I am not going to give you a fashion show. Or a striptease. So please stop asking before I...Oh! What else are you going to do to change my mind?

Kim: <whispering> Oh here she comes. <loudly> Yep, I'm gonna be promoted any time now. I learned a lot about leadership back when I was captain of my battle cruiser -
Seven: The Nightingale.
Kim: The Battle Cruiser Nightingale -
Seven: Lieutenant Kim. What's the secret to leadership?
Kim: Well, let's see. In Korea, it was... One, threaten everybody. Two, dig a really deep hole. I mean, a reeeeaaalllly deep hole. And three...
Seven: Binoculars?
Kim: Binoculars. Always be holding binoculars.
Seven: Gee, with that much leadership ability, makes you wonder why you're still an Ensign.
Kim: I know, right?? Maybe I should shave my skull so it looks like I just had surgery from a belt-sander accident.

Leviathan zinger award

The Doctor barely survived his Windows 10 upgrade.

Tharpy award

"Star Trek Voyager: Innerspace"

Tom: "Hold on! We're entering the captain's fallopian tubes!"

Woodcotay: "Boldly going where no man has gone before."

Tom: "Catarina is going to be pissed."

Cat: Oh, really? I thought it was clever. No old lady fallopian tubes remarks. I'm surprised.

2takesfrakes captures Roxann's expression well. I would hope she would sock the director after.

DIRECTOR: "OK, Foxy Roxy we're ready for your million-dollar shot, here ... so stop your grinnin' and drop your linen!"

In Brannon Brega's new tell-all book, the true inspiration for Voyager finally revealed - Star Trek: Land of the Lost

Katherine, Tom, and Naomi
On a routine expedition
Felt the greatest space-quake ever known
Through an anomaly
That shook their tiny craft
As it plunged them down 70,000 light ye

I just caught the fact I forgot to paste all names. Well, you know who you are. So there.

 

[2takesfrakes]

... WooHOO!!! Thanks for the win >: )

"Chakotay, let me ask you something and I want you to give me an honest answer about it, alright?"

"Always."

"Would you still love me, if I were a Cardassian?"

"What the...? Yeah. I guess so ... sure."

"No, don't tell me what you think I want you to say, Chakotay. Take your time, it's alright. Think about it, for a minute, first."

"Yes, I said! What the hell, with these impossible-scenario questions, Seska? I'll never understand women ..."

 

[T'Girl]

Neelix: "... and our first segment on Morning Talk with Neelix, the Janeway Sex Tape ..."

Tuvok: "Repeat after me, this is my phaser rifle, there are many like it, but this one is mine."

+

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Should anyone tell Neelix he's not getting away with anything? I mean, we all know he's not wearing any pants.

Let me in!

What are you doing? I'm trying to repair this conduit!

You don't understand, we just entered orbit!

So?

According to the duty roster, I'm on away team duty!!

I told you not to transfer to security.

I'll remember this the next time the ship is boarded. We'll see if you get any help from me!

You mean after you die on this mission?

With recent crew losses, I have decided to augment the security teams with these life-like androids.

We begin weapons training today

::: tries to hand off phaser, which bounces off his chest and hits the floor ::::

There are still a few difficulties to remedy...

 

[Nebusj]

``Um ... no, Neelix, get farther from the camera. Farther still. No, you're still a little big and loud. Get farther back. Yes, you can go on the other side of the wall if you like. And keep going.''

``I came into Star Fleet for the action, the excitement. Go anywhere, travel light, get in, get out, wherever there's trouble, a man alone.''

Chakotay: ``No, I'm not disappointed, I just ... never had butter-dipped cigarette ashes before?''

Tuvok: ``And when you are done with this, you may return the phaser rifle and go directly to the convention circle as the special guest three names after the guy who played Travis Mayweather.''

 

[tharpdevenport]

Hansen, Section 69: "I see how you've been looking at Naomi..."

Tuvok: "Oh, shit!"

 

[Catarina]

Dalby: Do you mind? I'm defecating in here.

 

[Triskelion]

Thanks for the win, Catarina!

Dalby: Airbnb screwed us again.

Seska: Don't give me that replicator privileges revoked line. No space glove, no space love, chump.

You know we have holograms of Regis, right?

Tuvok: The 1970's called. They want the musical Grease back.

 

[hux]

TUVOK: You wanted to see me?

DALBY: Yes, I'd like to make a complaint about my quarters.

 

[T'Girl]

Seska: "This is a special bowl, it contains your future, your destiny, your dreams and all your promise."
(pulls off cover)
Chakotay: "It's completely empty."
Seska: "I'm impressed Chakotay, you figured that out quite quickly."

+

 

[Nebusj]

Tuvok: ``Agent 13!''
Agent 13: ``Hi, Max.''

 

[Hutchy01]

Ensign: Use another one, this one is out of paper.

 

[hux]

SESKA: Be nice to me and I'll let you have these.

CHAKOTAY: So that's where Janeway put my balls.

 

[tharpdevenport]

"Found the toilet."

 

[Triskelion]

Seska: You want the regulation Spock bowl cut? The Chekov or the Scotty?
Chakotay: Let's try the Yar today. I'm feeling saucy.
Seska: The Yar? Really, are you sure? How about a nice Wesley, or, if you're feeling more randy, an insouciant little Julian?
Chakotay: Just get rid of this dykey Kira. I feel like a TNG alien-of-the-week with this thing.
Seska: How can I say this, Chakotay. Not everyone can pull off a Kira.

Tuvok: My compliments on your coif.
Maquis: It's the Kira. Not everyone can pull it off.

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

You know, it's true what they say. A man only gets more distinguished with age...
A few lines here...
A little gray there...
The ability to fall asleep during dinner...

 

[hux]

Ensign: If I was the traitor and that annoying tool was constantly asking questions, I'd kill him. Hey Jonas, did you hear me? Whoever the traitor is should definitely kill Neelix. Just saying... If only the traitor could hear me saying that he or she should kill Neelix. Huh Jonas? If only. Wink wink, nudge nudge. Huh Jonas?

 

[T'Ressa Dax]

Seska: I wonder what Chakotay would say if he knew the real reason I won't sleep with him is because... I've fallen for Maje Cullah.

 

[HMS Ark Royal]

"I wonder if its possible to engineer a replicator to create a beam weapon that could kill him? Miles told me it happened on DS9 once"

 

[Finn]

Neelix: *blabbering on about Tom Paris*
Lieutenant: What a Judas
Jonas: Not me. Paris
Lieutenant: What...I said Judas...like the bible?
Jonas:...oh right *nervous chuckle*