Voyager Caption Contest #133: Tell me how you really feel.

[Catarina]

Alright , damn tough judge. They were all great.

Head's up there is a new award this round. It's called the K.O (chakotay) award. It only goes to chakotay. He doesn't have to be in the image to be mocked. Obviously the characters have to mention him.

Whoever I think zings him the best, wins. To keep the award special, it will be featured randomly, not every contest.


Wins an award for sparking contest participation from a boring image! Yay.

PARIS: You look like you need a cigarette.

JANEWAY: What? I don't smoke!

PARIS: No, seriously. Someone should photoshop a cigarette into your hand. It would be great 'shop!

Photoshop award goes to Avro!

Janeway: What?

Janeway's "Bite me" award:

Old Smiling Grandma-Face: One in three people suffer from it.

Janeway: Good news, gentlemen. I no longer have a crippling coffee addiction!

RED: I'm only here to get better vegetables.
JANEWAY: You can have Neelix's leola root.
RED: ...I'll stick with the bag meat.

SEVEN: Okay, this has to stop. I know I'm not ready for a romantic relationship, but I HAVE to start hitting on Chakotay. For he sake of the crew.

Tom: Isn't that just sad. Not even two meters apart and they're texting each other rather than talk.

Kim: This would be an ideal location for a Starbucks.
Chakotay: And this would be an ideal location for - another Starbucks.
Paris: Any luck yet? The Captain said don't beam back without her latte.

Kim: ``It's a solid, inanimate block of impenetrable granite.''
Paris: ``That's Chakotay. What do you make of the memorial?''

Call it a cop-out if you want but ALL those Cig Manips captionated me. So there. Give yourselves a pat on the back.

Janeway: So it's a week of replicator rations on how Harry dies. Tom?
Tom: Running toward a hull breach.
Janeway: Chakotay?
Chakotay: Self-inflicted brain hemorrhage involving clowns.
Janeway: And I have clarinet impalement by a senior officer.
Tom: Shouldn't we be betting on whether he dies at all before we get home?

And your finger one too...though didn't appear because this was better :-)

Holo-Janeway: You're under arrest for your actions in "Flesh and Blood."
Janeway: Oh, right. I probably should have punished him for that.

Entry time. Have the crew tell each other what they really think.

 

[2takesfrakes]

CHAKOTAY: "B'Elanna, I just want you to know that if you ever Pon Farr again, I'll be only too happy to see you through it ..."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Paris: Wait, I don't get it. Are you saying that the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?

Kes: Captain, I'm sorry I accidentally broadcast that Malon goatse all over the ship's comm system. I promise it won't happen again...Captain?...Captain?...

Tuvok: Security has detected anomalous comm traffic. We must be prepared.

Chakotay: With the phaser? What is it?

Tuvok: It is a small hand weapon designed to fire continuous beams of energy for the purpose of incapacitating an opponent. But that is not important right now.

B'Elanna: Like my Janeway impersonation?

Chakotay: Hands on hips? Nice touch. But the voice needs work. You have to sound like you've inhaled an entire blimp load of helium.

B'Elanna: Ok...I'll get right on that, right after you water your roots, tree-boy.

 

[tharpdevenport]

I have angered the Janeway Gods. Oh well. ;-)

Belana: "If you say 'Let me Klingon to those, if you know what I mean' one more time..."

 

[JirinPanthosa]

TOM: They put you in a command position, in two separate organizations.
CHAKOTAY: Yes.
TOM: Wow. Just wow.

HALLUCINATION CHAKOTAY: So I was thinking we run away and make love.
TORRES: This is the most enticing thing the aliens who can read our minds could come up with as my deepest desire?
HULLICINATION CHAKOTAY: Yes.
TORRES: Wow. Just wow.

TUVOK: Pros of shooting you, management becomes more competent. Cons of shooting you, now the Captain will talk to me when she has to make an emotional decision.
CHAKOTAY: Logically, you're better off not shooting me.
TUVOK: ...Wow.

JANEWAY: Wait, wait. We're losing you, and we have to keep Chakotay?
KES: They think group membership is more important than acting skills or personality.
JANEWAY. Wow.

 

[Catarina]

I have angered the Janeway Gods. Oh well. ;-)

Belana: "If you say 'Let me Klingon to those, if you know what I mean' one more time..."

What, you don't like personal attention? hehehe. You're always welcome. Bring it on. this is Chak bash!

 

[Triskelion]

Thanks Catarina for the W's!

Tom: You want me to "Fly like an eagle to the future?" Geez, put down the spacecakes once in a while.
Chak: It's called an akoonah. Akoocheemoya.
Tom: Seriously, which tribe is that? Iroquois? Cree? Are you a Chickasaw?

...

Perchance an Eel River Athabascan?

Chak: There is a story among my people, of a wise medicine man -
Torres: You mean, Mexicans, right?
Chak: And the medicine man took an apprentice to teach him the ancient ways of the shaman -
Torres: Because you are Mexican, right?
Chak: But the apprentice was too stubborn to learn -
Torres: So what is this story? Did you see it on Telemundo?
Chak: No, it wasn't on Telemundo. Anyway, the medicine man was dying -
Torres: Was it Breaking Bad? It was Breaking Bad, wasn't it.

Chak: Give me a beer and I'll do your tattoo.
Tuvok: Mess Hall to security....

Kes: Thanks for your concern, Captain, but at least my "spotty brats" would look like humanoids. I've seen your "offspring" on another plane, and they resemble their amphibian lizard father. Can't say I blame you for abandoning your spawn in that jungle tidepool.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kes: "Chacotay has no penis."

Paris: "You have no penis?"

Tuvok: "Commander, it appears we are outnumbered and boxed in with no way out and the enemy is scrambling our communications. So, since we are likely to die, there's something I've been meaning to ask you about..."

 

[Hutchy01]

The laxative effects of Neelix's 'Coffee' were soon discovered!

 

[TolkienOtaku]

Tom: "Wow! And here I thought you couldn't get anymore boring, Chakotay. Bravo!

Torres: "You are such a bore, Chakotay."
Chakotay: "You too?"
Torres: "Don't believe me? Ask Tuvok."

Chakotay: "Am I really that boring, Tuvok?"
Tuvok: "Commander, I would rather watch paint dry than hear another one of your stories."

Janeway: "Chakotay did WHAT to Tuvok?"

 

[Triskelion]

Janeway: Can't blink...bun too tight....

 

[joededman]

Tom: What do you mean, Harry's been cheating on me?

B'Elanna: Trust me Chuckles. Showing off your 'keg' is not the same as showing off a six pack.

Chakotay: I know we've never been really good friends, but could you point the phaser some place else?

 

[T'Ressa Dax]

Tuvok: Touch my plate again, and I will shoot you. Commander.
Chakotay: Pon Farr always brings out the best in you, Tuvok.

 

[Triskelion]

Chak: Seven or Torres?
Tuvie: Seven.
Chak: Seven or Janeway?
Tuvie: Seven.
Chak: Seven or Kes?
Tuvie: Seven.
Chak: Seven or the Delaney Sisters?
Tuvie: Seven.
Chak: Seven or Seska?
Tuvie: Seven.
Chak: Seven or Neelix?
Tuvie: Neelix.
Chak: You're telling me you would rather bang Neelix over Seven?
Tuvie: Oh...I thought we were playing who has the biggest boobs.

Bel: Why do you keep starting sentences with "In the Maquis"? I was in the Maquis too, ya know.
Chak: In Starfleet Academy, we learned how to annoy our junior officers.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PARIS: Don't push me man! I've been to prison!

CHAKOTAY: Wasn't "prison" a luxury resort in New Zealand where you talked about your feelings?

PARIS: Was a worth a shot.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Paris: I'm sorry, I thought you said Seven and you were dating.

Torres: Seven? And you? Dating? HAH!

Tuvok: Could you speak more loudly, commander? I thought I heard you say that you and Seven had engaged in a romantic liaos.

Janeway: You're HOW old? Pardon me while I have security detain Neelix.

 

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY: Bun...too...tight...call...for...help!

 

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY: Bun...too...tight...call...for...help!

 

[Triskelion]

Chak: Now when B'Elanna comes in we'll all jump out and yell "Surprise!" Then you can stun her with a hand phaser.
Tuvok: And...why should I do that?
Chak: Because it's a surprise.
Tuvok: Your logic is impeccable.

 

[hux]

Chakotay: Ever notice how you're always acting like a massive prick whenever Michael Jonas is around.
Paris: Well duh!

Chakotay: The costume department really fucking sucks, doesn't it.
B'Elanna: You're only just noticing this now. I mean for Christ's sake, look at us.

Chakotay: Why are you pointing that phaser at me?
Tuvok: There are three halo's above your head commander. I'm gonna assume that's a sign I should kill you.

Kes: Then Neelix tried to put in my ass.