Voyager Caption Contest #132: Three's a Crowd

[Catarina]

"Aggh! That was right on top of a pimple, a-hole!"

PARIS: AHH! I just had a horrible dream I was Kim!

TUVOK: At this point I don't find it likely that you are actually going to sneeze.
JANEWAY: It's coming Tuvok, it's coming!

Tuvok: I believe the proper procedure, once you have your hand in the correct place, is that I cough.

Neelix: Oh, hello commander, what are you doing in my quarters.

Tuvok: I've come to punch you several times in the face. You wanted me to be more emotional; well you're about to get your wish

Tuvok: It's supposed to be a meld, not the Vulcan Death Grip.

You were on roll, man.

B'Elanna: You call that a love bite Vorik? My father bit me harder than that.

Tom: I am NOT Nick Locarno!

This round:

edit: I forgot one image. So feel free to jump in again.

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Chakotay, I applaud the strides you've made helping Seven with her sense of humour, lately! But, I have to admit, Commander ... you two never had me fooled that you were actually seeing eachother. I mean ... c'mon! Not ... not you and Seven ..."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Old Smiling Grandma-Face: One in three people suffer from it.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

RED: I'm only here to get better vegetables.
JANEWAY: You can have Neelix's leola root.
RED: ...I'll stick with the bag meat.

SEVEN: Okay, this has to stop. I know I'm not ready for a romantic relationship, but I HAVE to start hitting on Chakotay. For he sake of the crew.

JANEWAY: So what do you think of my hairstyle?
PARIS: Where do you think I can find the Princess?
JANEWAY: Excuse me?
PARIS: Could she be, perhaps, in another castle?
JANEWAY: What the hell are you talking about?
PARIS: Nevermind.

ALIEN: Be honest with me. Are outsiders safe on your ship?
JANEWAY: Well, most of them die. We falsely accused this one guy of rape. And most of the strangers we meet are actually plotting against us so we're a little trigger happy. So I would say, yeah, you're safe.

 

[Catarina]

She does look like pre-lichfield Red in that double one. And I gleefully smiled thinking "Mario bros" . ha, princess toadstool hair.

 

[joededman]

Whoo Hoo! TFTW!

KJ-1: So. We'll trade you this fine red headed model of Seven of Nine for a blond?
KJ-2: Deal!

Tom: Isn't that just sad. Not even two meters apart and they're texting each other rather than talk.

Seven of Nine: It is working. I haven't even had a real date with Chuckles and the Captain is jealous.

 

[Triskelion]

Thanks for the awards, Catarina!

Janeway: Why are her cheeks so red? And why is she looking so smug? WHO'S BEEN BOINKING THIS BITCH???!!!

Janeway: Guess who's been hinting around for a promotion and is never going to get one?
Chakotay: Harry Kim?
Janeway: No, Neelix. Ah, just yankin yer chain, I'd make Neelix an ambassador before promoting Carry Him, I mean Harry Kim!

Janeway: There is one thing to remember about being a starship captain: always carry a spare uniform for the next morning walk of shame.
Paris: ...Needs work.

Alien: I've been looking for a tutor for my two bratty children who lost their mother to a mysterious illness. Anyone interested?
Janeway: Do you have dental?

 

[JirinPanthosa]

CHAKOTAY: Huh, that's weird. I'm not detecting a spine.

 

[LeadHead]

Holo-Janeway: You're under arrest for your actions in "Flesh and Blood."

Janeway: Oh, right. I probably should have punished him for that.

Janeway: These soap operas are awful! Right, Chakotay?

Chakotay: Oh.. yes! Awful...

Janeway: Mister Paris, Engage.

Paris: Uh...

Chakotay: She switched to Irish Coffee.

Janeway: Janeway to Tuvok, we're on Deck 2. Where are the intruders?

Tuvok: (over comm) A security team and I have apprehended them on Deck 7.

Janeway: Why did you tell me the intruders were on Deck 2?

Tuvok: (over comm) You insisted on confronting them with only an Alien Ambassador and The Doctor as backup.

McNeil: We're going to film the entire scene on this side of the set piece.

Beltran: Light issues because we're filming outdoors?

McNeil: No, the drought already turned all the other grass brown.

 

[ThankQ]

Goldshirt: Nope! I was cool with threesome, I said fine to a normal foursome, but fuck this! I'm out!

Kim: Commander, I'm detecting strong life signs four meters away!
Chakotay: Confirmed, ensign, nearly two meters tall and holding its position.
Paris: Yo, peel your eyes off your Gameboy, bitches.

 

[TolkienOtaku]

Thanks for the award!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

Janeway: You're so cute when you're boring, Chakotay.

Janeway: Gentleman, there's more than enough Janeway to go around.

Janeway: "Come out, come out, wherever you are..."

Tom's thoughts: I wonder who would win in a bore-off?

 

[T'Ressa Dax]

Janeway: Something's going on here, and I want to know what it is.
Chakotay: Nothing's going on, Captain, honest.
Janeway: "I don't believe you. Mr. Paris? I am ordering you to tell me- did Neelix plan another surprise party for me?"
Paris: No, Captain. Not Neelix.
Chakotay (whispering) "Don't give us away, Paris."
Janeway: "I heard that!"

 

[Avro Arrow]

Janeway: OK, in this test chamber, you use the portal device to solve the test, Mister Paris, and I'll continue to try to reason with the AI. Commander Chakotay, you...
Chakotay: We're still getting cake, right? I like cake.
Janeway: You know, Tom, I'm beginning to think we incinerated the wrong companion.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PARIS: You look like you need a cigarette.

JANEWAY: What? I don't smoke!

PARIS: No, seriously. Someone should photoshop a cigarette into your hand. It would be great 'shop!

 

[Catarina]

I'm surprised you didn't PS it in yourself, Nerys. She does have a cig pose when she talks at times.

 

[Catarina]

Paris: you can relax your hand, we're out of the holodeck so your holo-cig dematerialized. :-)

 

[Triskelion]

Janeway: I've come a long way, baby!
Paris: Yeah but getting lost on the other side of the galaxy isn't what they meant....

 

[Hutchy01]

Janeway: I've come a long way, baby!
Paris: Yeah but getting lost on the other side of the galaxy isn't what they meant....

Wrong hand!

 

[Ithekro]

I see her with a cigar.

 

[hux]

Janeway1: You can have her for 15 minutes but then it's my turn, ok.
Janeway2: Acceptable

Janeway: What's your opinion on anal beads?
Chakotay: Um, so as you can see, we've found a route through the nebula.

*parp*
Janeway: That wasn't me, that was him

Janeway: This way men.
Daleth: God, I'd love to have her hair.
EMH: God, I'd love to have hair.

Chakotay: It appears to be some kind of inanimate object.
Paris: Harry, move out of the way, you're blocking the commanders readings.