Voyager Caption Contest 120: Best Friends Forever

[Captain Kathryn]

Hello Voyager fans!! Sorry the contest winners are a bit late. Enjoy the wins and the new contest!

Paris: Jesus, Harry, are you trying to seduce me?
Kim: It's been a long time, Tom. A long time.
Paris: Get a hologram!

Janeway: Doctor! You've got to help me! I'm under attack!
Doctor: By who? There's no one else here.
Janeway: It's my hair! It's sentient and it's trying to eat the rest of my head! It's like some evil warlord or something!
Doctor: So should we call it...Attila the Bun?

EMH: Don't be modest, Captain. It's nothing I haven't seen before.
...On a dude.

Director: Cut! You in the blue. Yes you. Tone it done for Christ's sake. You're an extra, this isn't going to be your big break.

Chakotay: Remember when you murdered Tuvix
Janeway: WTF!

EMH: "I'm sorry Captain, the bit that you were hoping for still hasn't been restored to normal size since last week's Caption competition."
Janeway: "Well that was a waste."

"Maybe you should relax with the wine, Chakotay. You're going to get drunk."
"But it takes the edge off the inevitable rejection I'm going to get from you."

Janeway: Computer activate Erotic Massage Hologram.
Doctor: Please state the nature of the.....CAPTAIN?!?!?
Janeway: Dammit computer, wrong EMH!

Kim gets disturbingly unexpected results from his snake-charmer act.

Doctor: Captain, I must insist you get dressed at once.
The Entire Female Population Of TrekBBS' Voyager Forum: Not so fast!!!

-----

 

[Captain Kathryn]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest 121: Best Friends Forever

Derp. Just realized the number on this contest is wrong. Oh well lol.

 

[2takesfrakes]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest 121: Best Friends Forever

"There's an Ancient Legend among My People, Kathryn:
Once there was a Mighty Warrior whose Animal Spirit Guide was a Wild Hare. The Warrior also had a Leader. She was beautiful and strong. So ... one night the Mighty Warrior had a vision from his Animal Spirit Guide. The Rabbit showed him a perfect sphere. It was beautiful and totally smooth - split down the center. And it told the Mighty Warrior, "Follow the curves from behind ... feel your way."

 

[hux]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest 121: Best Friends Forever

Thanks for the win

Tuvok: I am preparing a brilliant caption for caption contest 120
Paris: oh right...well i've just checked the forum and it's bad news

Chakotay: So every time i say Seven, your nipples get hard.....interesting

EMH: Would you like to rumba or cha cha cha
Seven: Maybe after we've finished dancing doctor

Tuvok: I wish we were still Tuvix
Neelix: I know....lets sit on this chair and snuggle

Chakotay: I'm looking forward to this
Tuvok: As am i
Chakotay: I can't believe it took us this long to finally drink each others urine

 

[2takesfrakes]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest 121: Best Friends Forever

Thanks, for my win, also! I've already $aved my Tuvok's Laughter Award - WooHOO!!!

"Tuvok, you have to help me get back to the 20th Century and pick up Rain Robinson. You saw how great we were together. And picture the baby we'd make! We'll even name it after you! Come on, what do you say? I know it's not 'logical,' but it's for love, Tuvok - LOVE! I know you understand ..."

"Lieutenant Paris, even for 'love,' or becoming your hypothetical child's namesake, I do not feel as inclined to help you in your quest, as you might've hoped I would be. You will recall that Ms. Robinson did refer to me in the derrogatory, as a "freakasaurus ..."

 

[Akiraprise]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest 121: Best Friends Forever

Derp. Just realized the number on this contest is wrong. Oh well lol.

I can fix that. Thought I missed one for a second.

 

[Captain Kathryn]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest 121: Best Friends Forever

Derp. Just realized the number on this contest is wrong. Oh well lol.

I can fix that. Thought I missed one for a second.

Thanks so much!

 

[JirinPanthosa]

TUVOK: I believe I have contracted a virus that makes you constantly...for no reason...
PARIS: I see. Any idea how you contracted it? I mean, in case the Doc asks, yeah.

CHAKOTAY: I found this ancient Earth show in the archives, Orange Is The New Black? It's a great show, only the chef character has the least believable Russian accent.

DOC: We make the perfect match. Now that Kes is gone, we're the only two crew members who are emotionally below the age of consent.

NEELIX: Tuvok, I'm not sure you understand how Hide and Seek works.

BELTRAN: So it's a bet. Whoever's character conveys the fewest emotions wins.

 

[2takesfrakes]

Cue Music: "Sylvia?" "Yes, Mickey?" "How do you call your lover boy?" "Come here, lover boy." "And if he doesn't answer?" "Oh lover boy!" "And if he still doesn't answer ...?"

EMH: "Nobody puts Seven in a corner ..."

 

[bbjeg]

Tom: Vulcan or not, you can't go the whole trip without pooping.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PARIS: I'm no expert, but according to these readings, you need to get laid.

 

[Nebusj]

``Well, your speed on the 250 meter dash was bad because the far wall is only like twelve feet away. You have to start running back and forth or move to a bigger room.''

Chakotay: ``And according to our people's origin story the Sun looked down upon the Prince with a Thousand Enemies, ordering him to keep his people under control, and he said --- ''
Janeway: ``That's from Watership Down, Chuckles.''
Chakotay: ``Hraka.''

Somehow the Macarena lesson went horribly wrong.

``The pencil drop was very funny Mister Vulcan but I didn't imagine the Captain would make us stay under till we found all the pencils.''

``So, um, why is our wine off level? Is the floor tilted here?''

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Here's to a successfull transporter 'malfunction,' Tuvok! Once we have Kathryn's personality split into two different people, we'll have the best of both worlds. For you, her intellect, reason and solemn duty ..."

"And for you, Commander Chakotay: Captain Janeway's libidinousness ... and lack of inhibition. Once a Maquis, always a Maquis, is that not right, Commander?"

"I'll drink to that."

 

[anthony_lynch15]

Tuvok: My mind to your mind....
Paris: Paris to Doctor, I think Tuvok might be hallucinating.
Doctor: And what makes you think that Mr Paris?
Paris: He's currently conducting a mind meld with his finger tip.

Doctor: Where did you learn to dance so beautifully Seven?
Seven: The Borg assimilated over 1,000 different species that enjoyed recreational dancing. Many of those assimilated were experts in the art. A further 45 species used movements similar to dance as a means of communication. I'm simply making use their collected assimilated knowledge.
Doctor: Oh......

Neelix: I'm surprised at you Mr Vulcan, hiding in your room, cowering under a table. I expected more from you.
Tuvok: I agree, it is quite unexpected, I however, am not at all surprised to find you meddling in the affairs of those around you.

Chakota: I'm happy to see that someone on this ship has worse recreational clothes than me.
Tuvok: The replicator's clothing options are quite limited. I am often forced to wear robes just to avoid humilation.
Chakota: To uniforms.
Tuvok: To uniforms.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Paris: Tuvok...I've scanned the area with my tricorder like you asked. I know you said this is the church and this is the steeple, but I canNOT see all the people.

 

[anthony_lynch15]

Paris: Tuvok...I've scanned the area with my tricorder like you asked. I know you said this is the church and this is the steeple, but I canNOT see all the people.

LOL. This amuses me!

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Neelix ... your latest concoction is eating the lining of my stomache. Even with all of my Mental Discipline, I am having great difficulty controlling ... the pain."

"I'm so sorry, Mister Vulcan! Sickbay: Medical Emergency in Tuvok's quarters!"

 

[Triskelion]

Tuvok: And then you say "My thoughts to your G spot, your G spot to my thoughts - "
Tom: Slow down, let me get this on tape.

Chakotay: And then the Rubber Tree People danced in the streets with T shirts that said "I'm a Pepper."

Seven: This will go smoother if you let me lead.
EMH: Ok, but only if I can bed you after you spring for my lobster.
Seven: You...man!
EMH: Ain't gender equality a bitch?

Neelix: And on DS9, this is the happy lighting.
Tuvok: I take it back, the Delta Quadrant isn't so bad.

Chak: To boats and hoes.
Tuvie: Logically.

 

[LeadHead]

Tuvok: I am experiencing Pon Farr. I will rely on you not to say anything to anyone about this.

Paris: I won't say a word.

Computer: Incoming tweet from @DeltaFlyerFTW.

Paris: You didn't say anything about social media.

Janeway: Janeway to Bridge.

Kim: (over comm) Kim here.

Janeway: Nothing, Janeway out. Okay, which of us thought it was a good idea to leave him in charge up there?

Computer: Warning, EMH program expanding. Running analysis.

Neelix: Don't worry Tuvok, we'll be fine. Despite being one ship against the entire quadrant, with no back up, limited supplies and fewer and fewer crewmembers, we always come though okay with no lasting damage within a week!

Chakotay: And now, we control Voyager.

Tuvok: Yes.... we....

 

[bbjeg]

Doctor: That's my hypospray.
Seven: So that's what you call it?