Voyager Caption Contest 119: Had a Bad Day

[Captain Kathryn]

Greetings Voyager fans!!!

Winners of the last contest and images for the new contest are up! Relish in your wins! A lot of these were too funny.

Janeway: Good news, Doctor.
Doctor: Torres has finally figured out how to stop me from shrinking?
Janeway: Nope! She's classified it as a feature!

Seska: (watching) You see, Culluh. We don't need an armada of Kazon warships to take Voyager. Just leave something shiny in their course and they'll beam it aboard.
Culluh: I'm not sure about this, Seska.

Janeway, Tuvok and B'Elanna: Oooooooo..... Shiny...

Torres: Chakotay, your legs would not keep getting paralyzed if you got off the toilet sooner.
Tuvok: And if you could manage to avoid becoming a daily entry in my security log, it would be appreciated.
Chakotay: Log.

Chakotay: Torres and Tuvok didn't think I could do this.
Janeway: You can't. Go away.

Janeway: "Keep working! One of has got to be able to get that horrible thing off the screen!"
EMH: "You know I can hear you, right?"

TORRES: Wait, it's saying something....Ex term i nate?

Chakotay: Lalalala can't heaaaaaaar yooouuuuuu!
Torres: How the hell are you our first officer?
Tuvok: I used to wonder as much when he was our "captain".

EMH: Yes, i can vibrate if necessary....why do you ask

Janeway: "One more word out of you Doctor, and I'll put you where no man has gone in the last seven years."

LOL had to pick two for this one.

Chakotay: Harry wanted me to give you this and mention promotion opportunities
Janeway: Dismissed

Chakotay: I just picked this up from the Botany Bay.
Janeway: Khhaaaannnnnnn!

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Have fun everyone!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

Paris: Oh, that reminds me, I was supposed to research Malcolm Reed's combat strategies.

Janeway: How bad is it, Doctor?

The Doctor: You'll be fine, but I'd make nice with the insurance adjuster if I were you.

The Doctor: I didn't mean that nice with the Insurance adjuster!!

B'Elanna: While you're at it, would you implant a "clean up your own dang socks" command?

Janeway: I made dinner!

Chakotay: (thinking) God help me.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the Say What? Here's another...

Paris: "Not... the blow job I was hoping for."

EMH: "I diagnose a bad hair day. I'd lend you my preventative subroutine, if you were a hologram."

EMH: "I'm sorry Captain, the bit that you were hoping for still hasn't been restored to normal size since last week's Caption competition."
Janeway: "Well that was a waste."

Paris: "A little help here. Face-sucking alien. Call security!"
Torres: "In a minute, Tom. That face-sucking thing is hilarious. Do it again."

The Maquis infiltration of the Voyager crew was finally complete. Chakotay had hypnotised Janeway into thinking she was a maid, everytime he said Akoochimoya.

 

[hux]

Thanks for the win(s)

Harry: This one time at band camp

Doctor: You're doing well captain, only five more men are waiting their turn

Doctor: I'm afraid Seven can't make it so she sent me...how can i help
Janeway: Nevermind

Tuvok: My mind to your mind....i can sense that you're very good in bed Mr Paris

Chakotay: Remember when you murdered Tuvix
Janeway: WTF!

 

[Finn]

Doctor: Are you all right, Captain?

Janeway: *grabs the Doc's uniform and pulls him toward her* Coffee!

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Security: Emergency in Captain's Quarters!"

"I've already taken the proverbial phone off the hook, Kathryn ... we don't want to be disturbed."

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Maybe you should relax with the wine, Chakotay. You're going to get drunk."

"But it takes the edge off the inevitable rejection I'm going to get from you."

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Captain, I know you've just been transported directly here, to sickbay, after a violent attack, but ... I want to talk to you about the possibility of my getting my own quarters, now that I'm mobile."

 

[2takesfrakes]

"I won't stop playing this Tom, until you give me your permission to marry Linnis."

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Woo! Woo! Woo!... nyuk! nyuk! nyuk!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

HARRY: Anything happening with the cobra?

EMH: Turns out I don't have a Hairdressing subroutine.

JANEWAY: I'll pass on the "happy ending", thanks.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Doctor: Captain, I must insist you get dressed at once.

The Entire Female Population Of TrekBBS' Voyager Forum: Not so fast!!!

 

[Captain Kathryn]

LOL

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Janeway: My God, Chakotay, haven't you had enough?

Chakotay: The drunker I get, the better your cooking tastes.

 

[Triskelion]

TFTW Captain Kathryn!

Tom: I was feeling bad about not being able to win Kes, but you cheered me up as usual.
Kim: Because of my jaunty licorice stick tune?
Tom: No, because you play clarinet better than you play women - and you suck at clarinet.

Drunk again, Captain?
No, I jus' can't find the floor.

EMH: Don't be modest, Captain. It's nothing I haven't seen before.

...On a dude.

 

[Armored Saint]

MCNEIL: YOU WIN! I will make out with Garrett on screen if it makes you stop writing stupid homosexual allegories.

PICARDO: If only we were on HBO...

 

[Roddenberry]

Thanks for my win.

Paris: It's about time I told you the truth Harry, I knew taking you on the date was the only way for me to nail both the Delaney twins.

Janeway: I don't want to hear about the twelve steps Doctor, I can barely stand, let alone walk.

Doctor: But Voyager always has a happy ending Kathryn.
Janeway: Not this time mister.

Barclay (pretending to be Vulcan): My mind to your mind, your mind to my mind....it's no good, nothing in there Paris.

Chakotay: About time Kathryn, finally learned your place is the kitchen and not the Captain of a Star Ship.
Janeway (to herself): Wonder how smug you'll be when you discover the main course is fricassee de Spirit Animal.

 

[Finn]

Janeway: Damn, where's that Chakotay!

Doctor: He fell asleep on the toilet. I'm here for the annual check up you've been avoiding.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Thanks for the wins!

Paris: Jesus, Harry, are you trying to seduce me?
Kim: It's been a long time, Tom. A long time.
Paris: Get a hologram!

Doctor: Captain, are you -
Janeway: Holy hell, doctor, that coffee has a kick to it.

Chakotay's got 99 problems, but a sammich ain't one.

 

[Triskelion]

Barclay: "Ribbed - for his torture."
B'Elanna: It's funny cause it's true!

Janes: Remember when Tom and I turned into lizards from the future?
Chaks: Yes....
Janes: How do you like your eggs?

EMH: From now on why not release your farts in small doses like other human beings?