Voyager Caption Contest 118: The Voyager Bunch

[Smellincoffee]

Chakotay: Lalalala can't heaaaaaaar yooouuuuuu!
Torres: How the hell are you our first officer?
Tuvok: I used to wonder as much when he was our 'captain'.

Chakotay: Torres and Tuvok didn't think I could do this.
Janeway: You can't. Go away.

The Doctor: You'd rather navigate the Obamacare website than talk to me?!

Paris, OS: Whoops. Looks like they're on to us, Harry.
Kim, OS: I told you that was a bad idea!
Paris: At least when they trace the feed to Sickbay they'll think it was the doctor.
Kim: Or you, 'medic'.
Paris: Damn.

 

[NAHTMMM]

Janeway: Good news, Doctor.
Doctor: Torres has finally figured out how to stop me from shrinking?
Janeway: Nope! She's classified it as a feature!

Chakotay: Oh, I like that one.
Janeway: But this one is cheaper.
Doctor: Did you want me for anything useful, or am I supposed to just stand here and watch while you shop for a new EMH?
Torres: Ooh! This one can sing opera!

 

[Nerys Myk]

TORRES: Wait, it's saying something....Ex term i nate?

 

[Timewalker]

Doctor: You're going to do WHAT?!

Janeway: We're completely out of coffee and spare parts for the replicators, so you're included in the trade goods for this planet. Apparently the children there love to buy and trade something called "action figures."

 

[Triskelion]

Janeway: No, according to the research there was no way Khan could have known Chekov prior to Kirk's mission to Ceti Alpha V.
Tuvok: Fascinating.
Torres: It must have been some kind of temporal anomaly.
Chakotay: No, even Chekov was confused by the reference.
Janeway: Like temporal anomalies, maybe this is one of those conundrums better left unsolved.
Tuvok: Though it does continue to provide robust area for discussion and speculation.
Torres: I'll say. Plus that Khan wasn't exactly hard on the eyes.
Chakotay: His bench press? Two-thirty.
Torres: What? Pounds?
Chakotay: Kilos.
Tuvok: Impressive.
Janeway: Indeed he was.
EMH: Hello? Vidiian space?

 

[Triskelion]

Janeway: Computer? Delete the nurse.
EMH: I've got a bad feeling about this.

Torres: Welcome back to the land of the living, robot. This is Commander Tuvok, he only mates once every seven years. On my left is Captain Janeway, she forces Irish barkeepers to go to college and wear lifts. I'm B'Elanna Torres, I'm alive thanks to Cardassian vivisection on Bajorans but refuse to give an ounce of my own DNA to save an entire race of plague victims. What's your deal?
Robot: Please space me immediately.
Torres: Wait! We haven't told you about Neelix yet!

Torres: I thought you had a date with the Captain, Chakotay. Why do you look so bad?
Chakotay: She kept talking dirty to me.
Torres: So? What's the problem?
Chakotay: She kept using medical Latin names for things.
Tuvok: Yeesh, I'll wait for the next Pon Farr, thanks.

 

[Triskelion]

Chakotay: Captain, don't you think Harry will protest your promoting this flower to lieutenant?
Janeway: I could always make him a commander.
Chakotay: Or I could just space him next time we run into an anomaly.
Janeway: Whatever.

 

[Captain Kathryn]

Gonna post the winners and new contest tonight or tomorrow.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Doctor: "Yes Captain, due to the negative space wedgie, your size now reflects your ego."

Janeway: "How do I look?"

Doctor: "Same as ever."

Robot: "Hey sexy mama, wanna kill all humans?"

Tuvok: "I require assistance finding his 'on' switch."

Chakotay: "Roses are red, violets are blue-"

Janeway: "Get the hell out of my office."

Chakotay: "Aaaaand, screw you."

Janeway: "Doctor, stop looking at our butts."

Doctor: "Just inspecting the troops, Captain."

 

[Triskelion]

Janeway: Well that's the last algorithm. Sorry Doctor, you can have length or girth, but not both.
EMH: Could you at least make it 3D? And not the kind that needs special glasses?

 

[Roddenberry]

The Doctor: I'm sorry Captain, I know how much you like Red Dwarf but I'm not going to sing the Arnold Rimmer Munchkin Song again.

Neelix: If you don't like the Black & White candid shots, we could try sepia, maybe 3D holograms but Mr. Vulcan, could you at least smile or say cheese when we take the next set.

Tuvok:I look down on her (Indicates Torres) because I am upper-class.
Torres: I look up to him (Tuvok) because he is upper-class; but I look down on him (Chakotay) because he is lower-class. I am middle-class
Chakotay: I know my place. I look up to them both. But I don't look up to her (Torres) as much as I look up to him (Tuvok), because he has got innate breeding.
Tuvok: I have got innate breeding, but I have not got any money. So sometimes I look up (bends knees, does so) to her (Torres).
Torres: I still look up to him (Tuvok) because although I have money, I am vulgar. But I am not as vulgar as him (Chakotay) so I still look down on him (Chakotay).
Chakotay: I know my place. I look up to them both; but while I am poor, I am honest, industrious and trustworthy. Had I the inclination, I could look down on them. But I don't.
Torres: We all know our place, but what do we get out of it?
Tuvok: I get a feeling of superiority over them.
Barker:
I get a feeling of inferiority from him, (Tuvok), but a feeling of superiority over him (Chakotay).
Chakotay: I get a pain in the back of my neck.

Chakotay: I just picked this up from the Botany Bay.
Janeway: Khhaaaannnnnnn!