Voyager Caption Contest 118: The Voyager Bunch

[Captain Kathryn]

Greetings Voyager fans!!!

The new contest is up...relish in your wins!!!! Especially Nerys Myk, awesome photoshop job on the Gorn!

Braxton: I've come from the future after Labor Day to warn you - don't even think about wearing that!
Chakotay: I see the Temporal Prime Directive gets put to good use.

B'Elanna: You can make whistling sounds with your hands as long as you want, I can still hear you farting.

NEELIX: Uh, guys...
JANEWAY: Not now Neelix! We've got to find that Gorn!

Chakotay: I do this every night, hoping one of us gets lucky.
Kathryn: One of us?
Chakotay: Well, there's you, me and the monkey.

Janeway: Shouldn't this caption have been used in December
Da Vinci: Why....oh right, cos i look like santa...yeah you're right....Captain Kathryn really dropped the ball there didn't she

BRAXTON: That's one of worst tats I've ever seen. 'Get that in prison?
CHAKOTAY: No, it is a symbol of my tribe....aw, hell. You're right, I got it in prison. I'm not even an Indian!

Tuvok: One of us should sneak around the west side of the perimeter to flank while the rest of us--
Neelix: Leeeeroooooy Jenkins!!!

B'ELANA: I told you your MMOPorn game wouldn't get any subscribers.
PARIS: I don't understand it. I ran ads on TrekBBS! I assumed Trekkies would click anything with giant breasts and a lot of skin, especially if it's presented misogynistically.
B'ELANA: Serves you right for stereotyping.

Chakotay: *puckers*
Janeway: You aren't supposed to let me see you crossing your fingers. You aren't getting any tonight.

---

 

[LeadHead]

The Doctor: Do you know that you're forming acne on your lower chin?

Seska: (watching) You see, Culluh. We don't need an armada of Kazon warships to take Voyager. Just leave something shiny in their course and they'll beam it aboard.

Culluh: I'm not sure about this, Seska.

Janeway, Tuvok and B'Elanna: Oooooooo..... Shiny...

B'Elanna: Did you spike his tea again?

Janeway: No choice, it was the 14th time he'd talked about his animal guide this week.

Janeway: Its not you, it's me. Now get out.

 

[2takesfrakes]

"We regret to inform you that 'Mornings with Neelix' has gone off the air. You're watching: 'B'Elanna and Friends' ..."

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Commander Chakotay, inform Neelix that Humans do not use carnations to garnish their meals with."

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Captain, the giants in Gulliver's Travels aren't called anything. They're from Brobdingnag ... that's all."

 

[2takesfrakes]

"And the piano sounds like a carnival. And the microphone smells like a beer. And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar. And say 'Man, what are you doin' here?'"

 

[2takesfrakes]

JANEWAY: "Thank you, everyone, for your input - altering The Doctor's personality was a great idea! The first thing we're going to take care of is his horrible Bedside Manner. That was your suggestion - right, B'Elanna?"

 

[bbjeg]

B'elanna: It appears we are being watch, like a Voyager series.
Janeway: They're probably making fun of us in some message board.

B'elanna: But that's impossible.
Tuvok: Most definitely.
Janeway: So you mean to tell me Voyager is inside it's own sickbay? Damn Delta Quadrant.

 

[hux]

Thanks for the win ;-)

EMH: Yes, i can vibrate if necessary....why do you ask

Janeway:I can't believe it
Torres: I know...they killed Robb Stark and slaughtered everyone
Tuvok: wait...i still haven't seen season 2...crap!

Torres: Why is he making that face
Tuvok: If you look under the table, you'll see why
Torres: Oh, hi captain

Chakotay: Harry wanted me to give you this and mention promotion opportunities
Janeway: Dismissed

EMH: So in conclusion...Neelix will need a serious operation to survive and...
Janeway: Sorry doctor....Game of thrones is about to start

 

[Mistral]

Janeway: "Keep working! One of has got to be able to get that horrible thing off the screen!"

EMH: "You know I can hear you, right?"

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the win

Tom: Are those hair plugs?

 

[Nerys Myk]

TUVOK: He's having that dream about being on the Bachelor, again.

 

[Triskelion]

Thanks for the win, Captain Kathryn!

EMH: Never tell a Klingon engineer her butt's too big.

The robot's waking. I better zip his pants back up.

Tuvok: ...Sioux? Blackfoot? Hopi?
B'Elanna: Apache? Cherokee? Casino?
Chakotay: Keep going, I'm sure I'll know it if I hear it.

Janeway: Got my coffee refill?
Chakotay: Depends. If your breath withers this flower the EMH has advised me to intervene.

EMH: Picard let Data get laid.
Janeway: Dead from the waist down .
Chakotay: Don't worry, Doctor, you get used to it.

 

[Finn]

EMH: Captain, you are overdue for your annual check up

Janeway: Computer. Change the EMH's height to six centimeters. Captain Janeway one-five-Alpha-Chuckles-Victor:

Computer: EMH adjustment complete

 

[Nebusj]

Doctor: ``I don't know if it's a holo-focus problem, or a space-time distortion, or a hallucination, or an alternate universe, or what, but I'm fed up with this nonsense happening every single week.''
Janeway: ``Join the club.''

Torres: ``It's … I think it's almost there … if we can get the color locked in … we've nearly broken through into the MeTV lineup!''

Torres: ``Great. Chucklehead's finally bored himself to sleep.''

Janeway: ``Yeah, that's good, so all I need is if you could just hold that flower for like the next seventy years, 'kay?''

Janeway: ``All right, Doctor, we put you on the main screen and on the back screen so you can see an infinite recursion of yourself. Now will you give back control of the ship?''
Doctor: ``I need to revel in my glories a little more. … All right, I'm done.''

 

[2takesfrakes]

"To anyone within the sound of my voice:
This is Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres of the Federation Starship Voyager.
If you read me, a Laughing Vulcan has taken control of our vessel ...
and put us on a direct course to the Great Barrier.
Our co-ordinates are zero zero zero, mark two.
Request emergency assistance. Acknowledge."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

"To anyone within the sound of my voice:
This is Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres of the Federation Starship Voyager.
If you read me, a Laughing Vulcan has taken control of our vessel ...
"

I did no such thing. Well not much...

Janeway: "One more word out of you Doctor, and I'll put you where no man has gone in the last seven years."

Doc Brown: "What the...! This isn't Howdy Doody Time!"
B'Ellanna: "Hello? Can you hear me? We're stuck in the 1950s. We need to borrow a flux capacitor."
Doc Brown: "Great Scott!"

B'Ellanna: "I told you, if you don't throw in an Akoochimoya or a Spirit Guide reference once every five minutes, he'll never make it through the crew evaluations."
Chakotay: snores gently

Standing orders on Voyager of a coffee, a rose, and a serenade for the Captain each morning, were amended after Janeway first heard Chakotay sing.

Janeway: "What idiot would put the mute button for the main viewscreen all the way over here?"
B'Ellanna: "The Emergency Engineering Hologram had an input into the bridge ergonomics."
Chakotay: "Figures..."

 

[2takesfrakes]

If you read me, a Laughing Vulcan has taken control of our vessel ...
"

I did no such thing. Well not much...

Speak the Devil's name and he shall appear!

 

[JirinPanthosa]

DOCTOR: Okay, I'll give seven breast implants! Just let me be tall again!

ME: I need to stop watching my old VHS tapes and finally just get a damn Netflix account.

TUVOK: Personality tests show virtually zero chance you would ever rebel against Starfleet. You are far too boring to take that kind of initiative.
TORRES: You were never a Maquis, were you?
CHAKOTAY: I stowed away on a Maquis vessel and wanted to be cool.

CHAKOTAY: A pretty, for the pretty.
JANEWAY: Ugghhh...

 

[Triskelion]

EMH: You must have misunderstood me, I just asked you for a little headway.
Janeway: Either way, your problem is solved now.

Torres: Do you speak English?
Tuvok: I do not believe the robot understands; you should try another approach.
Torres: DOOO. YOOOU. SPEEEEEAK. EEEENNNGLIIIIISHHHH?
Janeway: Yeah, that always works.

Torres: Chakotay, your legs would not keep getting paralyzed if you got off the toilet sooner.
Tuvok: And if you could manage to avoid becoming a daily entry in my security log, it would be appreciated.
Chakotay: Log.

Janes: I don't need your apology, I just need you to remember to stop making a whip sound every time I give an order.