VOY Caption Contest 82; Cavalier Attitudes...

[Ln X]

Hope you all had a good time with the last caption contest. Anyways on to:

A bad matching:

Russ: "I'm not Nimoy and you're definitely not Jill Ireland, so don't even try me!"

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It took a while sifting through the coffee jokes and J/C jokes, but I picked this:

"You know, Kathryn, we're going to be down here for the rest of our lives, and I'm going to get this out in the open. That bun of yours drives me wild and your smoker's rasp of a voice is like the singing of angels."

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Seven makes her intentions clear...

Seven: We must go that way.
Hirogen: Why?
Seven: Because if you don't, I'm going to knock your block off.

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Discontinuity and budgetary restraints be damned:

KIM: That's gonna leave a mark!

JANEWAY: Do you even watch the show?

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The side-effects of warp travel award goes to:

Doctor: Didn't anyone tell Ensign Kim not to use that Warp 10 shuttle?

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Here is the special winning caption:

Overseer Janeway: "This planet will make a fine coffee plantation. Beam down the Kazon slaves".

Another tag caption award, a rather clever tag caption to:

The Doctor: You know, we could've just looked through a microscope at the parasite, we didn't have to turn it into MegaParasite to get a better look at it.

Moset: Worry not Doctor, I actually adjusted our holographic matrices. We've been shrunk to subatomic porportions.

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Congratulations to all who won! So, on the theme of cavalier attitudes we have the following pictures:

Let the captioning commence...

 

[Ln X]

Janeway: Did you bury the body or did I?
Seven: I'm not sure...
Janeway: Let's just hope the crew buys into the tragic transporter accident of Harry Kim.

Tom: Doc if it weren't for the moustache you would look like Hitler.

Janeway: I'll tell you whose pissed off! Me! You forced that damned child on me!

Tom: I could pilot this ship blindfold and nothing would go wrong...

Janeway: (thinking) Let the yeoman rivalries commence...

 

[Harbinger]

I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite pilot in the Federation.

Paris: Captain, you might want to have a look at this....

 

[Timewalker]

Icheb: Q, you have not earned the right to wear that uniform!

Q Jr.: It's better than that Wesley Crusher hand-me-down you're wearing!

 

[Schistocerca]

Q Junior: "So how did you know the captain would pick your Kindle over all the others she got for her Birthday?"
Icheb: "Knowing I may face competition from the rest of the crew I took the precaution of preloading my gift with Fifty Shades of Grey!"

 

[R. Star]

Thanks for the wins!

Seven: This is most irregular.
Janeway: Quiet! Slaves have to be kept in a constant state of fear. Do you remember the plan?
Seven: I am to enter Ensign Kim's quarters from the air vent and attempt to seduce him.
Janeway: (evil laugh) Nothing scares Harry more than a real woman. Now where's the holocamera?

Doctor: You thumb fingered oaf of a pilot! This is not the colonoscopy probe.
Paris: Relax doc, this is the best chance you'll have to get into Seven's pants.

The new Trek series The Young and the Qless was not a popular hit among sci-fi fans. However it did find a surprising cult following among daytime TV viewers.

Tom Paris: Flipping the bird faster than the eye can see since 2370.

Janeway: -yawn- Gentlemen... welcome to the semi-finals for the most annoying cast member on Voyager. You may commence your battle and the winner faces Neelix tommorow... now stay out of my way.

 

[Nerys Myk]

ICHEB (whining) Captain!!! He's doing it again!!!!!

JANEWAY (disinterested) Doing what?

ICHEB: (more whiny) Looking at me!!!!!!!

JANEWAY (more disinterested): Q, stop looking at Icheb

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"Insult my hairpiece again and I'll bludgeon you to death with this oddly shaped putter!"

 

[Schistocerca]

During filming breaks on the set of Voyager, Robert Picardo liked to practice his "And I'd like to thank the Academy for this award" face.

 

[Schistocerca]

Janeway: "Seven, when you invited me to an evening in your quarters bonding over face masks I was thinking more mudpacks and exfoliating scrubs!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

EMH: Oh, the pimp hand is strong, but the pimp cane is stronger!

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Thanks for the win!

Investigation into the life-support failure on deck six turned up several discarded gin bottles stuffed into the atmospheric scrubbers. Simultaneously, Janeway and Seven began to recall the previous night's activities...

"Computer. Enhance Emergency Medical Hologram, "Steam From the Ears" subroutine."

"Faster Than Light, No Left Or Right" was the third most popular song in Voyager: the Musical, behind only Tuvok's "Terror Tu The T" rap number and Janeway's incredible solo, "Magic Beans".

 

[Violet.Phoenix]

Janeway: How much longer can we keep them out?

Seven: As long as their fur doesn't interact with the plasma relays we shouldn't experience any problems.

Janeway: *sigh* Of course I would have the luck to incur the wrath of the tribbles.

Seven: I'd say more like the wrath of the Quadrant.

Doc: Madness? This...is... SICKBAY!

Q (in Janeway's body): Now see what you've done, Kathy? You suggest that my son indulge in a little creativty and he switches our bodies!

Tom: I bet I can get us all back to the Alpha Quadrant at warp 10 without anyone turing into salamanders!

Icheb and Q exchanged looks of horror when they realized that the reading material on the captain's PADD was some very steamy J/C fanfic from the intergalactic fanfiction outpost.

 

[T'Girl]

(From temporarily lost, but found, and better late than never)

Tuvok: "An unusual energy phenomenon."

Chakotay: "This could be a trap, we should be careful."

Paris: "Especially if it's a 'Line-Trap.' I remember this girl once on Risa ..."

Janeway: "Mr Paris, all very interest, but could you ease us off to one side."

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Doctor: "Alright, I'll pump the gas, but one of you has to clean the windows at the next station."

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Janeway: "Yeah, that's what I thought. Mynock. Goldenrod, check the rest of the ship, make sure there aren't any more attached."

Doctor: "I challenge you to a duel! A golf duel!"

Janeway: "Q. Bring the coffee back. All of it."

Paris: "Not to be a pain, or anything, but I can get us home faster than those MapQuest directions. I know a special back way."

Janeway: "There is no special back way, you bubble-headed booby! It's a straight line!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

PARIS: Eyes on the road???? Please, these things pretty much drive them selves...what's that beeping noise?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Icheb: Q, I used to be a brat like you...but then I took an arrow in the cranial implant.

 

[LeadHead]

Janeway: Status?

Seven: Neelix's 5 Alarm Chili has led to a dangerous methane buildup due to farting. We will need to use the breathing masks for at least 6 more hours.

Doc: You call THIS A Putter?!

Q: I'm what we call a deadbeat dad. See ya! Wouldn't wanna be ya! You either, kid.

Paris: Actually, that course will take us through the Nebula of Doom.

Janeway: There could be coffee in there, ENGAGE!

Janeway never had much to put on her Spacebook page she started strategically placing herself near arguments among crew members.

 

[Ln X]

After a lot of work and stuff, I'll get my ass down to picking the winners of this contest and starting a new one. TODAY!

(though not now as it's 1am in the morning...)

Sorry for the delays.