VOY Caption Contest 104; One Small Ship...

[Ln X]

I have not much to say... So the winners are...

Kim: I don't think it's working, Doc!
EMH: Trust me, this alternative treatment for constipation is fully endorsed by the Ferengi Laxative Council.
Kim: Who??

NEELIX: Lt Carey, watch out, an alien parasite is emerging from your abdomen!
CHAKOTAY: No, no Neelix. That's what happens to humans when they, you know...

When staff meetings got boring, Torres would start conversations with an empty chair.

Janeway: Can you wake him doctor
Doctor: Has there ever been an episode where i couldn't

Chakotay: "It's at times like that this I begin to suspect that everything my dad taught me about my culture was stolen from cheap twentieth century cowboy and indian movies."

And now the special award.

Chakotay: That's enough, Neelix. I know you missed the Federation in service on sexual harrassment when you came on board, so let me be blunt. THIS is considered a "no-no".

The photoshop award goes to Triskelion for some neat manipulations:

Chakotay: I'm going to wake the dragon in case he's a good dragon.

///

///

///

Again being brief; below are the pictures to be captioned.

The next caption contest will start on the 4th of March.

Have fun!

 

[Ln X]

Chakotay always feared the sky falling on his head...

Janeway: Computer display the various security feeds for all the male's crew quarters...

Tom: I had a dream where I mated with the captain.
Doctor (o/s): Just a dream Mr Paris- Wait did you say mated?
Tom: Yeah it was rather kinky stuff...

Suder: Did you ever consider that my extreme violence will whip up a storm in your calm sea of thoughts?
Tuvok: Mind meld first, consequences later...

The audio feed to captain Janeway's quarters always made for interesting listening, especially when Seven arrived...

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the win!

Tuvok: "My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts..."
Suder: "It is by will alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of Sapho that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, stains become a warning. It is by will alone I set my mind in motion."

 

[Triskelion]

TFTW LnX!!!

Janeway <aboard Voyager>: ATTENTION CREW: WHOEVER LEFT MY SEAT UP IS IN FOR WORLDS OF HURT! WORLDS OF HURT!

Chakotay: Tee hee!

When I find who's been sending me those lolcat emails there will be hell to pay. All right Mister Kim, let's just see what you've been Googling on night command.

Tom: When I was at Warp 10 I existed in every point in space and time in the universe.

EMH: Yes, and?

Tom: In about a week you're going to give B'Elanna a gynecological exam. You might want to pre-warm your instruments this time - for the crew's sake.

Tuvok: My thoughts to your thoughts....

Suder: You don't just meld with one person. You meld with every person they have melded with in the last five years.

Tuvok: Not to worry, I am completely clean, Mister Suder.

Suder: Ahem. Your'e not the only Vulcan aboard.

Tuvok <Breaks contact, wipes hands on pants>: Dammit Vorik!

The crew's nightly game of "Guess Who Dealt It" always ended the same way: with a heated debate over the molecular characteristics of Plomeek vs Brussel Sprouts.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

After arguing with Janeway about an obviously reckless move, Janeway put Chakotay in time-out.

After Janeway's makeup got smudged, she found a temporal anomaly and reset the timeline.

PARIS: Why don't...we...just...go warp 9.99999....be home in seconds....no evolution....
DOCTOR: What was that you just said, Mr Paris?
JANEWAY: He's started babbling incoherently. His brain must be starting to transform.

TUVOK: Mr Suter, I am now transferring to you my feelings about Neelix. You will know what to do.

TUVOK: This month we have decided to promote...this inanimate carbon rod!
KIM: DAMN IT!

 

[Nerys Myk]

CHAKOTAY: I'll just duck in here. Nothing bad ever happens in a cave.

 

[BirdInJetstream]

When Chakotay left for his meditations (from where he rarely returned in time), Janeway kept a little Holo-animation of him in one of her flowerpots as a reminder to rescue him and retrieve the shuttle.

 

[DeepSpaceWine]

Again being brief; below are the pictures to be captioned.

Chakotay seeks to elude the the mob of angry fans by hiding in a cave. Little does he know that 'cave' is actually a land-dwelling starship/man-eating monster.

Janeway: "Which button turns the lights back up?"
(frustrated)
Janeway: "I thought I read the instructions right..."

Paris: "I think there's something wrong with Neelix's cooking..."

Tuvok rehearses Helen Keller in preparation for "Year of Hell".

Everyone is waiting their turn as Paris bogarts the galactic telephone.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PARIS: Explosion....in the mess...hall.

JANEWAY: What! The coffee, is it okay!!!??

JANEWAY: Get to work, people! You don't get paid to stand around!

TUVOK: Actually, Captain. We don't get paid at all.

 

[Isis]

Tuvok: "It's a new technique. It's called the Jedi mindmeld."

 

[LeadHead]

Chakotay: The coast is clear, there's just a lot of big aliens pointing rifles at us.

Computer: Warning, by using a phaser in close proximity to this console, the warranty is now void.

Paris: What do you mean, lizard babies?

Tuvok: Crap, nothing to meld with.

Neelix: (over comm) ... And today's special will be Leola Root Surprise.

Tuvok: Red Alert.

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

Robert Beltran: Can I come out now? Is the series over yet?

Janeway: Oh god no! Something's happened that could upset the status quo on the show. Where's that reset button...

Paris: Doc, what's wrong with me?
EMH: The Klingons call it, nga'chuq Hegh. It translates roughly to 'sexual death', a highly virulant Klingon STI I'm afraid, Mr Paris.

Tuvok: I wish I knew how to quit you.

Kim: Hey, what's going on? Is it a party?
Tuvok: Remain perfectly still. It will confuse him and he will leave.

 

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY: I gotta get an easier PIN.

 

[Triskelion]

Chak: My man cave is open for business! First rule: no ball-busting unless you have balls!
Male voyager crew: Ahhhhhhhhhhh........

B'Elanna I want you to target Chakotay's man cave and destroy the entrance! B'Elanna? Computer, location of Lieutenant Torres?

Lieutenant B'Leather Sensation is under the planet's surface.

Teraquads...of...porn....

Suder: You're going to hear a lot about fanfic. Don't steal my ideas.

Tuvok: No promises.

Tuvok: Keep...perfectly...still...Lieutenant.

Tom: I...don't...think...it's...working....

Janeway: Well?? Isn't anyone going to comment on my new hairdo?

 

[Riker's Libido]

Chakotay TOUCH HIS **** YOU [slur]!!! DO IT! DO IT NOW!!!

Neelix: Help me!! Why are you doing this?! WHY?!!

 

[Ln X]

A new contest will be up tomorrow.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"Akoochie moya... we are far from our sacred home... and from our sacred bathroom. Neelix's leola root stew didn't even pause to digest. May the spirits protect me from any bears as I use their home as my 'private sanctuary.'"

Captain Janeway's second thoughts about installing black lights on the bridge quickly washed away as the techno music started and the laser tag security exercises commenced.

 

[Ln X]

Due to Adobe Flash Player 11.6 giving me serious problems the next contest will have to be delayed by up to a day...

 

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY: Damn it Torres, what the hell is going on with Adobe Flash Player 11.6?

 

[Ln X]

http://www.trekbbs.com/showthread.php?p=7775638#post7775638

The next contest is finally up!