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Trek XI Caption Contest #5: Nerd Alert! Nerd Alert!

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Kirk: Hey, Spocky, this way to phaser control!
 
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Kirk: Uh....there's this red thingy....moving towards the green thingy. I think we're the green thingy!

Pike: Crap.
 
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Pike: Fire a warning shot across her nose...Careful, you idiot, I said across her nose, not up it.

Crosseyed Gunner: Sorry, sir, I'm doing my best.

Pike: Who made that man a gunner?

Crosseyed Major: I did, sir. He's my cousin.

Pike: Who is he?

Kirk: He's an Asshole, sir.

Pike: I know that! What's his name?

Kirk: That is his name, sir. Asshole, Major Asshole.

Pike: And his cousin?

Kirk: He's an asshole too, sir. Gunner's mate, First Class, Philip Asshole!

Pike: How many assholes have we got on this ship, anyhow?

Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!

Pike: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes! Keep firing, assholes!
 
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SPOCK: We're under attack Kirk, the Captain said to report to the bridge!

KIRK: I'm...uh...taking a short cut!
 
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Holy hell, somebody just swiped my cigarette, Red Alert. Pike to Security, we got some kind of super fast alien on the ship, find that SOB and rip it a new bung hole.

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Great, just as I was about to whip out my copy of Airplane for a caption refresher :rommie:

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"It's Sulu, he's gone from suck to blow."

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"The ship is too big. If I walk, the movie will be over."
 
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Kirk: Whats the code to lower the Narada's shields?

Pike: 1..2..3..4..5

Kirk: So the code is 12345? What kind of a stupid code is that? Sounds like something an idiot would use on his luggage! Uhura, quick, go change the combination on my luggage!
 
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