TOS Temporary Caption Contest #3: Doctor, Doctor

[Anticitizen]

Bones: It's called a Magic Eye. Slightly cross your eyes and you'll see a 3-D Orion Slave Girl pop out of the image.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "I think that last shot you gave me is giving me weird side-effects."

McCoy: "Oh, is it making your hands and tongue grow?"

Kirk: "Not yet, but I'm pretty sure my testicles just shrunk."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: Damnit, Jim, can't you tell that the situation is dire by this soap opera camera set-up?!

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Just that Rand was asking for a hearing. That's all Starfleet said ..."

Nancy: "No, no, I'm not his fabled ex-wife. Now there was a transvestite with fashion sense."

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "On the bright side: this explains the purple rings on your penis last year."

 

[Hambone]

KIRK: Can't you see it?

McCOY: See what?

KIRK: The camera! The hidden camera! Jeezus, I'm lookin' right at it!

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Duck season!"

McCoy: "Rabbit season!"

Kirk: "Duck season!"

McCoy: "Rabbit season!"

Kirk: "Duck season!"

McCoy: "Rabbit season!"

Kirk: "Duck season!"

McCoy: "Rabbit season!"

Kirk: "Rabbit season!"

McCoy: "Duck season!"

Kirk: "Rabbit season!"

McCoy: "Duck season!"

Kirk: "Rabbit season!"

McCoy: "I say it's duck season! Fire!"

*Spock shoots McCoy*

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Turns out grabbing their tits is sexual harassment. My seminar notes were fucked up."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Bones, I believe Spock is cheating on me... with Uhura.
Bones: That randy, green-blooded hobgoblin!

 

[Daneel]

KIRK: "Alright, if this check-up is finally over, I've got to get back to the bridge." <starts to walk out>

McCOY: "Uh, Jim? Don't you want your pants back?"

KIRK: "Bones, we're heading into Orion space -- trust me, this will save a lot of time."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Jim, it's your duty to get Spock back to Vulcan before it's too late!"

Kirk: "*tee hee* You said 'doody.'"

 

[Trekker4747]

What?

What?

No, seriously, what?

What? You're the one looking at us!

No, I do believe it is YOU who is looking at US.

Dammit Jim! I'm a doctor! I don't have time for this, now tell me what you want!

Bones, I've a SHIP to run, now just tell me what it is that YOU want.



Trekker, could probably go all day with this...

 

[Gil T.Azell]

McCoy: "This was my brother Nick"
Kirk: "Whaaaaattt!!?"
Nancy: "It was his first operation of that type Captain and he couldn't do anything about my face."

McCoy: "Jim. If you keep screwing all those young Yeoman's your dick will fall off"
Kirk: "So, I'll get you to re-grow me a new one, you can do that right Bones?"
McCoy: "They don't call me Bone for nothing!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

McCoy: "Jim, you stepped in tribble dookey. Seems multiplying isn't the only thing they have a lot of will to do..."

 

[Santa Kang]

MCCOY: Its okay Jim, they're fans.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: Jim, I'd like you to meet Nancy.
Kirk (off-camera): So this is the hot piece of asssss... whut?! Did you have Andorian shingles at the time?

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "She wasn't as heavy or gray when I knew her before, Jim."

 

[Rat Boy]

Baby Jimmy: "Jim Jim likey blonde better!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Can he walk yet?"
McCoy: "No, but oddly enough, he can do nude jumping jacks."

McCoy: "When he shits himself, we just hang him outside and the blowing sand cleans him off."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Austin Powers (off-camera): That's not a woman, but a man, baby! Yeah!