TOS Caption Contest #97 - Whom Gods Delay

[The Tone]

It was the first time Kirk had ever slept through something like this before.

Much to Kirk's dismay, not only did this parallel world have Yankees and Communists, but it also had gay porn.... volumes of it.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "I picked the wrong day to give up cosplay..."

"As it says in the holiest of holies, ' 'Ah, go boil yer heads, both of yeh,' said Hagrid. 'Harry - yer a wizard.' '"

 

[Shatmandu]

Cloud William: "One Named Kirk, tell why your uniform have no insignia at start of Enemy Within? Holy Book of Asherman says it was production error, but come on! How things like that happen? I hope some savage got fired or something ..."

 

[Balthier the Great]

NOOOO!! Men are NOT supposed to wear chastity belts!!!

You aren't the Obamassiah, are you?

 

[Shatmandu]

Cloud William: "We gotta get the internet back; this fuckin' book is heavy."

 

[Swarles Barkley]

Cloud William: Kirk! You forget coversheet on TeePeeSlabneesta report again! Moving you to basement!

 

[Rat Boy]

Cloud William: "Tooalb eef pat ees, spec ialsawsel, ettuceche esepick lesonyns..."

Yellowshirt: "...on a sesame seed bun. Just give me my damn Big Mac."

 

[Nerys Myk]

CLOUD FESTUS: Mmmm. Baby got back!

CLOUD WILLIAM: Holiest of Holies say not too ogle customers. You on report

 

[cooleddie74]

BULLFROG SPF 75

It's the toughest bullfrog under the alien sun!(TM)

Even on distant parallel Earths, there were unabridged special editions of THE STAND.

 

[cooleddie74]

"You order screwed up?

You no speak me.

You speak manager.

Manager in bathroom."

 

[Rat Boy]

Epic burp!

 

[DrBob]

Kirk: <muttering> "Yabba Dabba Doo..."

Cloud William: "Do you have a reservation?"

 

[cooleddie74]

NONA:"Ohhh, this splinter is DEEP.

Tyree, my husband...fetch the tube of ointment and my tweezers."

CLOUD WILLIAM:"You not on band's backstage list.

Me check. There no 'Hugh Jass' on list. You go now, or I split your skull with club."

 

[highlander]

As he drifted off to sleep Kirk thought...."I'm glad I tossed in the extra $20 for a 'happy ending'"

 

[cooleddie74]

As the first decade of the 21st century drew to a close, Britney Spears music videos reached a stultifying crescendo of confusing tastelessness.

 

[Gertch]

Cloud William: "Do you have a reservation?"

Customer: "A days journey west of here. But that's not important right now."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Spell you last name again?

Me check newest edition White Pages. Make sure you in here."

 

[Swarles Barkley]

"Welcome to Chi Chi's. Must have proof of hep vaccine or sign waiver in Holiest of Holies."

 

[EliyahuQeoni]

This customer was so unruly that Cloud William was forced to get his fish-looking supervisor for help.

 

[cooleddie74]

"Your friend has combination skin, husband...the mako root will help balance his moisture content."