TOS Caption Contest #176: Par for the Course

[Rat Boy]

We have to go back...to a new caption contest! First, let's organize an A-Team into the jungle with...

For interesting ways to pass the time, our winner is...

Jim, I've discovered a great new amusement ride on this planet,
it's called the motorboat!

And for looking a little too closely, our winner is...

.

...

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Cochrane: "What make you think the Companion is female?"

Kirk: "The thong panties sort of give it away."

And for waking up on the wrong side of the Planet Hell set, our winner is...

KIRK: Wow.

We DID drink a lot last night, huh??

McCOY: Why in blazes does my ass hurt?

And that nicely transitions into our Photoshop winner...

McCoy: "I still don't know how you convinced Spock this was a barely habitable world with no resources of interest."

Kirk: "I'm the Captain, Bones, he's supposed to believe me... plus, I Kobayashi Maru'd the ship's sensors before we entered orbit."



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Congratulations to the winners. First up this week, we have Captain Christopher wondering if he could make a suggestion for a change to the Air Force's uniform code. Next, we have Spock mentoring Chekov in both the art of being a science officer and bagging blondes. Lastly, we have Nurse Chapel reduced to being the Enterprise's babysitter. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "I wouldn't bother. She's been hit more times than my dad's antique Corvette."

Chekov: "Meester Spock! Tricorder readings fluctuating vildly!"

Spock: "You're holding it upside down, you idiot?"

Standing kid: "I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!"

And would one of the mods be a dear and change the number in the title to 177? You do four of these at once and you start to lose count.

 

[jep]

Chapel: "So, which one of you want to come to my quarters as a child and leave as a man? How about you, Mandingo?"



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[jep]

Kirk: "Come along Captain Christopher."

Cristopher: "Step-off bitch, my future's so bright I wish I had shades."


.

 

[jep]

Chekov: "I had heard the rumors, but I never really believed them..."

Spock: "That's enough Mr. Chekov, and I must ask you to never again walk up behind me when I am urinating behind a bush."

Chekov: "... two streams.... I would not have believed it if I hadn't seen it myself."

Spock: "You are testing my patience little man."



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[Cornholio]

Captain Christopher: I'm gettin' that special feeling.
Kirk: back off! I saw her first!

Chekov: quit your damn texting Spock, we've got a survey to complete.

Chapel: Starfleet regulations allow us to have pudding without eating our meat.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Christopher: "Hey! That's the same broad that slipped me a mickey and made off with my wallet last week!"

Chekov: "Forgive my ignorance of the regulations, Meester Spock, but...do I need to get a senior officer's permission to diddle Yeoman Landon?"

 

[jep]

Kirk: "It's been a while, huh?"

Cristopher: "Wha---? How did you know?"

Kirk: "I'm good at picking up on visual cues..."



.

 

[jep]

Kirk: "Never seen a woman before Captain?"

Cristopher: "Yeah.... but never one built quite that well."



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[cooleddie74]

CHRISTOPHER: She commissioned?

KIRK: Not yet. But I've got a bottle of Arcturian brandy in my quarters that says she WILL be by this Friday.

CHEKOV: Meester Spock...my tricorder is picking up humanoid heartbeats...and CLOSE BY!!! Right on top of us!!!

SPOCK: You are holding the sensor panel against your own chest, Ensign.

CHEKOV: OH.

SPOCK: Idiot.

CHAPEL: For the last time...I will not flash my chest at you kids...I'm not getting in trouble the way Doctor McCoy did a couple of years ago!!

 

[cooleddie74]

CHRISTOPHER: Nice ass!

KIRK: Thanks.

I'm busy most of the time, but I still find ways of working out.

 

[jep]

Christopher: "You... you let women serve?"

Kirk: "Yes... there was a long and nasty lawsuit, but in the end, Sulu won the right to serve."



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[cooleddie74]

CHRISTOPHER: You have women on your spaceship?

KIRK: And on my FACE some nights.

 

[cooleddie74]

CHAPEL: Any of you kids ever been in a Turkish prison?

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Don't get any ideas, mister. Her last name is also Christopher.

Annoying Russian whiz-kid, there's an app for that.

Chapel: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
Tommy: Not for that pointy-eared dude, lady. I hear he prefers chocolate to vanilla.

 

[LeadHead]

Captain Christopher: I'm so glad miniskirts came back.

Kirk: So did Disco.

Captain Christopher: What's that?

Kirk: It's better if you never know.

Chekov: Mister Spock! Another Redshirt was just killed!

Spock: Good, one more and we break the record!

Chapel: Now finish up your fake ice cream and we'll-

Kids: It's fake ice cream?!

Chapel: Well-

Kids: Hail Hail Fire and...

 

[Nerys Myk]

CHEKOV: I can't pick it it up either!

SPOCK: Let me try.

LANDON: Its just a stupid game!

SPOCK: Madame, this is the Stanley Cup!!

 

[jep]

Chapel: "If you boys like that, you should try my Plomeek soup."

Tommy: "Giggle... I heard your Plomeek soup was only fit for painting the walls outside Spock's quarters."




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[T'Girl]

Christopher: "Assless miniskirts, what a fantastic idea!"

Kirk: "Thank you, I got the idea from a pair of my chaps."

Kirk; "... yes, one third of the crew is female."

Christopher: "And the other two-thirds of the crew?"

Kirk: "Airlock accident."

 

[jep]

Christopher: "My God... "

Kirk: "What is it?"

Christopher: "Her clothing!!!"

Kirk: "What about it?"

Christopher: "I can see her knees!!!



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