TOS Caption Contest #133 - Alternate Universe

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Uh-oh.

Sorry, honey.


I didn't realize that was your ear."

 

[Shatmandu]

KIRK:"Uh-oh.

Sorry, honey.

I didn't realize that was your ear."

Chekov: "Don't tell me, tell the Khan you just impregnated one of his slugs."

 

[Shatmandu]

Uhura: "Great. Someone farted."
Pike: "Probably McCoy. My doctor would never do that."
McCoy: "Eat shit. Wasn't me. Might have been the older me."
Ancient McCoy: "Bull-fuckin'-shit. Smells like one of Ancient Scotty's."
Ancient Scotty: "Ye all can kiss me arse."

Picard: "What the devil is going on here? And what's the smell?"

 

[cooleddie74]

Kirk didn't realize until it was far too late that he had spent thirty minutes making love to an EPS power tap.

 

[Shatmandu]

Sisko: "One of you TOS people just turned my 'wormhole' aliens into 'cornhole' aliens."

 

[cooleddie74]

PIKE:"I don't know what you call this blend, Jim...

But this is the best shit I've ever SMOKED."

 

[Shatmandu]

Picard: "You there! Yes, you, in the chaps! Turn around!"
<Assless-chaps Picard does a twirl.>
Picard: "Oh dear Lord."

 

[cooleddie74]

Yet more Frenchman reaches the afterlife after a tragic and wholly preventable flambe incident.

 

[Shatmandu]

Picard: "Last thing I remember, I caught Worf going through my underwear drawer."
Kirk: "DON'T TRUST THEM! LET THEM DIE!"

 

[Alrik]

Kirk: "Let me guess. Rand plugged in her *ahem* personal massager again."

McCoy: "Looks that way."

 

[Shatmandu]

Pike: "If you're looking for Burnt Chest Picard, he's stepped away with Helen Noel."
Chekov: "Oh."
Pike: "Apparently, he looks just like her father."
Chekov: "Oh. Ew."

 

[Gertch]

"Computer, turn the lights back on in the sauna room."
Sulu: "Belay that order computer."

 

[cooleddie74]

The only way to have sex with an aging Risan hooker.

I call it Pleasure Enhancing Absence of Photons.

 

[Shatmandu]

Pike: "Beardless Sisko is beating the shit out of Burnt Chest Picard, if anyone cares."
<Wet crashing sound of a melon being shattered.>
Beardless Sisko: "MY WIFE! MY WIFE!"
Pike: "Is he married to Helen Noel or something?"

 

[Gertch]

McCoy: "I love it when a paradox comes together."

Scotty: "Whadda you talkin' bout laddie. There's only one of you here."

 

[cooleddie74]

MAY 8, 2009


Theater Patron: "Whaddya MEAN the reel of the movie was lost?!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Scotty, where's that power?"

Scott: "Ach, I forgot to pay the electric bill."

 

[cooleddie74]

What you find when you get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

 

[Shatmandu]

Neelix: "Is everyone invited?"
<The rest of the characters shout with rage, ripping his arms off and beating him to death with them.>

 

[cooleddie74]

Local cineplex as Cooleddie makes pass at date on May 8th.


"Not NOW! You can slip me the plasma coil when we get HOME!"