TOS Caption Contest #133 - Alternate Universe

[Gary7]

Barclay: "I know, we could try a reverse resonance tachyon pulse. That might break us free."

Scotty: "Laddie, what kind of technobabble are ye goin' on about?"

 

[Rat Boy]

After he was caught using members of the Enterprise-D's crew in the holodeck for his perverse fantasies, Barclay settled on a classic Uhura fan dance.

 

[Gary7]

Tuvok: "Lt. Barclay, your bizarre tangent to keep this seemingly endless caption contest interesting will undoubtedly fail. I suggest we remain silent, until Outpost4 finds the lack of activity unsettling enough to do something about it."

EMH: "Computer, terminate EMH program... Computer? Oh no. Don't tell me that holodeck commands aren't recognized in this era and that I'm stuck here."

Barclay: "Shhhhhhhhhhhhh! Doctor, would you mind being quiet? No more talking!"

EMH: "Well... I suppose I can wait just a little longer--"

Barclay: "Doctor!"

EMH: "Sorry..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Schultz: "First that Pine kid steals Shatner's job, now he's after mine with The A-Team?! That punk!"

 

[26138]

NuKirk: "They weren't shittin' when they said the Bridge was bright."

NuMcCoy: Dammit Jim, I just tripped over the hostess station!

 

[M'Sharak]

"You canNOT be Siberius!"
​

"Oh, great, Chris -- now look what you've done!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

MR. SCOTT: I'll nay be getting on any shuttle with that crazy fool!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Pike: "Dammit Kirk, would it be too much for you to cut down on the doughnuts? You're generating your own gravitational field!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Barclay: "Fire several hundred phaser shots that do not hurt anyone, and run that Klingon ship off the road to make it flip over by hitting an asteroid."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "I love it when a paradox comes together."

 

[Mistral]

McCoy: "I know we're getting old-but Outpost4 isn't gonna end this thing until he breaks The Laughing Vulcan's longevity record!"

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "I've been here so long, my arms are frozen like this."
Scotty: "I'm holding in two weeks' worth of haggis-shites."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

McCoy: "I know we're getting old-but Outpost4 isn't gonna end this thing until he breaks The Laughing Vulcan's longevity record!"

Mitchell: "It's not so much the longevity as it is the incept date. He's coming up on four years and I'm worried he's gonna snog me and then crush my head."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

McCoy: "Say, what happened to that other fellow? You know, the short balding one with the paunch?"

Mitchell: "Who Kirk? He asked me what God needed with a starship, so I told him."

 

[Shatmandu]

Helen Noel to Sombrero Shatner: "Someone with your ... frame ... shouldn't wear this much white."

 

[Triskelion]

Bridges: Just what the bridge needs. A gay Scotsman.
Sulu: <snicker>

Uncontrollable Diarrhea McCoy: Uh oh.
Scotty: Bloody hell!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Ensign Davy Jones: "Look at this stuff, it's just paint, white paint. Ensign Mike Nesmith's mum relabels the tin 'White-out', and he goes on to make a fortune. All it is is... oops!"
Kirk: "Get a mop and clean that up will ya Jones. And lose the accent, it makes you sound gay, which is confusing the fuck out of my helmsman, what with the bimbos hanging off your every word."

 

[Rat Boy]

Mitchell: "What happened?"

McCoy: "You turned off the caption contest!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Mitchell: "What are you laughing at Mr Scott?"
Scott: "That Ratboy, he spent three hours taking the original image and photoshopping black into it. He could have just stuck a black square up and it would have taken him half a second. What a dork!"
Mitchell: "I do not find that funny Mr Scott."
McCoy: "Yeah Scotty, people expect veracity and honesty in the work of these caption competitions."
Mitchell: "Exactly, people can and do tell the difference."

 

[Cakes488]

Helen Noel to Sombrero Shatner: "Someone with your ... frame ... shouldn't wear this much white."

Helen Noel continuing: Especially because it highlights your girdle which looks awfully familiar because it's mine.