TOS Caption Contest #130 - Busted

[cooleddie74]

"Happy Easter...ye multi-armed freakshow!!"

 

[Outpost4]

"Matches your bleeding suit."

 

[John Picard]

Scotty: "Care for some cucumber slices?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "Oh, don't worry lad; all that stuff about eating the fruit is just an old wife's tale."

 

[Gary7]

"Just thinking about that God awful food gives me the runs!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Your old wigs aren't flushable, Miss Uhura."

 

[Triskelion]

Captain's log supplemental. Am replacing the Corbomite maneuver with the even more intriguing Mentos maneuver.

Aye there's your logs, captain.

 

[John Picard]

"I picked a bad day to stop sniffing clue, sir."

 

[Triskelion]

Salt Vampire on viewscreen: Gaaaagh!
Kirk: That'll be all, Lieutenant Creepy.

What kilt purse? I was just about to do me washin'. Protein cube?
<Ensign gags>

Isn't it 'bagpipes', with an 'S'?
Oh aye, laddie, aye. Usually.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "I don't give a shit. I'm taking my break. Union rules, bitches."

Kirk: "All we found was a bong, an afro, sunglasses, and a jewel-tipped cane. The rest of the person was reduced to ashes."

 

[John Picard]

Kirk: "It was terrible. There was shit and toilet paper flying everywhere. Mr Scott has yet to find any signs of Outpost4 and the rest of the Sewer Planning Commission."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Kirk to Records Section: do we have any Irish Muslims on board?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "McCoy and Vanderburg's tapdancing got out of hand."

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty: "Only seventy-five grams of fat per chunk. I have a plate a night meself."

 

[Rat Boy]

Lieutenant Creepy: "What the hell is wrong with me? First I get replaced by a sexy black chick, then I get bumped by a Russian Davy Jones lookalike."

 

[Shatmandu]

Uhura: "That's the last time I go out drinking with Scotty ..."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Bridge to Captain.

Sir, our battery-powered Magic Slates stopped working. Permission to stop by the Dollar Tree on Vega Colony to get more?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "...but it was really the Invisible Man? Tough break, lad."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SCOTTY: Nope, still not drunk enough.

 

[cooleddie74]

SUPERMAN:"...and then Lois said she wanted a REAL hero in her life...not a zero."

SCOTTY:"Aye, lad.

I know the feelin'. Try servin' on this ship's bridge fer a week."