TOS Caption Contest #130 - Busted

[cooleddie74]

"Enterprise to Mr. Spock.

Sir, the conditions on board have gotten worse in the past hour. Our shirts have either shrunken or gotten baggier...and half the blinking indicator icons on the consoles keep winking out whenever someone plugs in an electric razor."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Things are proceeding as predicted, Spock.

Scotty's repairing the pump. Bones is tending to the Horta's wounds. And I just saved 15% on our warp insurance by switching to T'GEICO."

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "But are you still master of your domain?"

Kelvan: "I'm king of the county."

 

[NathanielM]

SCotty! ACH!!! its got me hand!!! PULL IT OUT!!!
Ensign: I'm trying sir!

Kirk to Doctor Mccoy: We need you down here.

 

[NathanielM]

Kelvin: What is it?
Scotty:<drunkenly slurring> It'ssss It'ssss It'sss ORANGE!

 

[NathanielM]

Kirk: Ensign you aren't dark, you are not good looking and NO I Don't want to kiss you...

 

[26138]

Now we finally know how Scotty lost his finger - the great moonshine explosion of 2266.

 

[NathanielM]

[

Superman: Damn it I wish I had Lois right now... But that bitch dumped my ass.

Scotty: "I dinna think I can help you laddie, but we have Mr. Sulu who can under the table. Give him this and get him drunk first>

 

[Voyager]

Kirk: "Uhura...call tech support again...the septic system is broken...."
Uhura, filtered: "Aye sir...."

Tech support computer voice: "Thank you for calling star fleet septic systems, your current queue time is 30 minutes...please stay on the line and some one will be with you shortly"

Uhura: were on hold captain...

Kirk: damn tech support...always putting you on hold...especially when you got to shit really bad...

 

[T'Boggan]

What the do I have stuck in my left ear ?

 

[Shatmandu]

Drunk-talk, Scotty-style:

Scotty: "... and then I told the Captain to go fuck himself, I did!"
Gort: "No!"
Scotty: "Yep! 'GO FUCK YERSELF, YEH POMMY GIT!' I fairly shouted. Right on t'Bridge, too."
Gort: "Wow."
Scotty: "He can't do nuttin'. He knows he can't run this fuckin' ship without me pulling his arse outta the fire ever' five bleedin' minutes ..."

 

[Shatmandu]

What the do I have stuck in my left ear ?

 

[M'Sharak]

"Captain, we're being hailed."
"Who is it, Mister Farrell?"
"I don't know, sir -- he just keeps going on about somebody being 'masters
of the singularity' ... whatever the heck that's supposed to mean."

 

[Gary7]

Radar: "Yeah, I'll drink to missing fingers. But ya got any grape Nehi, Scotty?"

 

[John Picard]

Kirk: "It appears that Mr Ricky has learned the hard way not to use the plasma conduit as a means of demonstrating 'How not to be seen'".

 

[Gary7]

Cleese: "Mr. Scott, if we keep drinking like this, we'll become lifetime members in the Ministry of Silly Walks."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Drunk-talk, Scotty-style:

Scotty: "... and then I told the Captain to go fuck himself, I did!"
Gort: "No!"
Scotty: "Yep! 'GO FUCK YERSELF, YEH POMMY GIT!' I fairly shouted. Right on t'Bridge, too."
Gort: "Wow."
Scotty: "He can't do nuttin'. He knows he can't run this fuckin' ship without me pulling his arse outta the fire ever' five bleedin' minutes ..."

Gort: "Funny, you sound Australian when you are inebriated."

Scotty: "Ah rack off!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "What do you have to be sad about? At least they can see your bloody face in this caption contest!"

Superman: "Batman, pfffffffft! If I had been in Gotham, I would have caught the Joker when he robbed that bank, saved the girl from that bomb, and made the Earth spin backwards to prevent Harvey Dent from turning into Two-Face. And don't get me started on those Watchmen assholes."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Superman: "Batman, pfffffffft! If I had been in Gotham, I would have caught the Joker when he robbed that bank, saved the girl from that bomb, and made the Earth spin backwards to prevent Harvey Dent from turning into Two-Face. And don't get me started on those Watchmen assholes."[/QUOTE]

SCOTTY: Aye, tis nae easy being a miracle worker.

 

[Rat Boy]

Superman: "Batman, pfffffffft! If I had been in Gotham, I would have caught the Joker when he robbed that bank, saved the girl from that bomb, and made the Earth spin backwards to prevent Harvey Dent from turning into Two-Face. And don't get me started on those Watchmen assholes."

SCOTTY: Aye, tis nae easy being a miracle worker.[/quote]

Superman: "I mean, really. It took finding out who his ex-girlfriend's dad was for Dr. Manhattan to give a shit about saving humanity? I can tell you one thing; if I could split myself into multiple copies, Lois sure as hell wouldn't complain about it."