TOS Caption Contest #130 - Busted

[Gary7]

Kirk: "McCoy, you've got to get down here right away. We found Mr. Spock, stuck in a sewer conduit and well... you better bring a bottle of Drano with you."
McCoy: (over communicator) "Dammit Jim, I told you these 'hide and go seek' games were getting just way out of hand!"

 

[Gary7]

Scotty: "It's a kilt, man. K-I-L-T, kilt. Not a bloody skirt. An' if ye say one mer thing about it, I'll break this bottle over yer head!"

 

[Gary7]

Scotty: "I've got the funny wardrobe? Laddie, I don't have one fuschia jumpsuit in the lot."

 

[Gary7]

Kelvan: "Mr. Scott, I feel like I'm a giant stick of bubblegum in this getup. Have you got anything I can wear that's a bit more... masculine?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

SCOTTY: Aye, perhaps I have had enough.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "McCoy? Yeah, you're right, Spock's got the seven year itch again. Yeah, he just humped a conduit down here. Scotty's pumping out the green jizz. No... I don't know what he plans to do with it..."

Scott: "It's... it's... well... it's green."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Scotty: Are ye ready to see whit a true Scotsman keeps up there?
Kelvan: Uhhh, maybe one more bottle first.

 

[John Picard]

Scotty: "...hydro-spanner, a box of self-sealing stem-bolts, a Duranium patch panel, and some duct tape."

Kirk: "Did you get all of that Mr Spock?"

Spock: "Yes Captain. Anything else?"

Kirk: "A pot of coffee. This repair is going to take us a while."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Scotty says Chili Night can never happen again."

Pinky: "Well, I don't know ..."
Scotty: "Och! It happens t'every schoolboy in Scotland, laddy. Ye won't feel a t'ing."

 

[Outpost4]

Shatner: Gene, yah...we locked Grace in the tube, just like you
ordered...no, it didn't work...well, she may not be able to act her way out
of a paper bag but she sure can do a number on sheet metal.

 

[Rat Boy]

*sounds of construction*

Kirk: "Would you mind keeping it down?"

Scotty: "What?!"

Kirk: "I said, would you mind keeping it down? I'm trying to dump my girlfriend over the communicator."

Scotty: "WHAT?!"

Kirk: "I SAID WOULD YOU MIND KEEPING IT...

*construction sounds stop*

"...DOWN, I'M TRYING TO DUMP MY GIRLFRIEND!

*pause*

"No, no, honey. That's not what I meant."

 

[Gary7]

Kirk: "Alright, Spock. I'll admit it--I'm a lousy shot."

 

[Gary7]

Scotty: "Believe me laddie, this time it's really the last bottle."

 

[John Picard]

Kirk: "...and put a stop payment on that check. According to Mister Scott, those yokels at that repair station used old parts."

Scotty: "Just as I thought. The transmission is shot to shit."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "Dammit Spock, flushing a photon torpedo is just a euphemism."

Scott: "It's a kilt, and as long as you wear pink, I ain't putting it on."

 

[Gary7]

Scotty: "I really mean it this time, Lad. This is definitely my last bottle!"

 

[T'Boggan]

Kirk " Scotty is really pissed! That last shot from the Romulans took out his Still."

Kelvin " Either there is a large tribble climbing up your curtain or this is really good stuff!"

Scotty " Well thanks to the frickin Romulans there's nay mair left Jimmy, so make the most of it!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Yes, Spock, the hot water heater is down. Yes, I'll want a live feed from the women's showers in my quarters."

 

[cooleddie74]

KELVAN:"Is this the part in human drinking rituals where one of us takes off our clothing and we...GET BIZ-ZAY?"'

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"It's as bad as you thought, Spock.

The furnace is down, we're getting -10 windchill tonight and all the comforters and blankets are in dry cleaning on Vega Colony and we don't get them out until the weekend."