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TOS Caption Contest #128 - Record Time

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Sulu (thinking): It'll be all right if you just picture your fantasy...

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Sulu (thinking): Yeah, that's the stuff...
 
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Kirk: *grumble*

Spock: "It would have been more appropriate for you to have beamed us to the Captain's Quarters, , Mr Scott."

Scotty: *snicker*
 
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"Okay, fine Scotty. You were right. The marionette wires were a bad idea. Can you just beam down the brain controller and remote control now? And who is that laughing so hard in the background?"
 
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Bones: "Scotty, three to beam up. Spock is drunk off his ass."
"No Scotty I don't know how Vulcan women hold their liquor."
" Ha, by the ears!!!! That's great now beam us up Shecky."


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Romaine: "By the ears!!!! Scotty you are the living end!!!!"


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Sulu: "Uhura I don't get that whole Vulcan liquor joke."
Uhura: "It's about eatin pussy sugar, so you wouldn't."
 
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SULU: Actually I'm not gay. The guy who plays me is though.

UHURA: In that case honey, move it or lose it!!
 
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Kirk: So now we know what he does with the finger when he doesn't have it on.
Spock: Fascinating!
 
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Uhura: "I can't find a seat."
Sulu, grabbing her, overcompensating: "As long as I have a face, you can."


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Mira: "Me, go out with a smelly, drunken, buggering Scotsman? Daddy would rather see me with a Vulcan."
 
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Scott to bridge, we'll be needin' another yeoman down here.

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McCoy: This one's called Muddy River Bottom.
Kirk: That one always makes Spock cry.
 
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Uhura found out first hand that the long held myth about Asian men was most certainly..... True.

Uhura: I know that is NOT your lighter in your pocket mister!
 
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McCoy: "Odd. I could have sworn Spock was just here puking on himself while Jim was fondling him. I guess I picked a bad time to quit heroin."
 
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McCoy: "Nothing down here but two bushes -- Bush senior and Bush junior. Both are pathetic little things that contribute nothing to the planet."
 
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Sulu, overcompensating: "Did it hurt?"
Uhura: "What?"
Sulu: "When you fell from Heaven."


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Mister Scott, to himself: "Refuse a date with good ol' Scotty, and ye get a wee dram of anti-matter in yer soup, lass."
<Romaine doubles over, screams, explodes.>
 
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Rat Boy: "Sorry, I can't listen to her anymore. She sounds like she's gargling something."

Rat Boy's date: "Hey, I gargle like that."

Rat Boy: "Well, look at the time, I better get going."
 
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Even in the 23rd century men proved to be indifferent to the dreaded PMS outbursts from fellow female crew members.

AND/OR

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Scott: Aye, I see it's that time o' the month for ya lass, I see I'll just have to take care of meself this time, but stop
your * bloody bleatin for a minute an' at least have the decency to finish me off.




*pun fully intended
 
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