TOS Caption Contest #126 - Propped Up

[M'Sharak]

"No, Spock, that's not what it is.
[beat]
Hey, Christine - you'll never guess what happened to that
trombone mute we thought was missing!"

"Yeah, well - 'sem-pray doo-row' to you too, kid, but I'm not really into
secret handshakes an' such. You never know what you're gettin' into with
those; friend o' mine got himself into quite a predicament that way."

 

[M.J.Nugula]

McCoy:It's quite all right, it's quite all right boy. When you get as old as me you can take it.

Uhura:OOh Spock that feels so good!
Spock: Vibrations are illogical ms. Uhura

McCoy:Chapel can you get that young man here, the one from two pix above? Spock's ass is feeling a bit tight around my arm.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Spock, did you miss the part where I said tribbles are born pregnant???

 

[Mysterion]

McCoy - I don't know what you told Nurse Chapel, but I know damned well that this "special massage" is not part of Pon Farr!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

McCoy: "It's called a 'Phantom Dick', Spock; you feel it even after it's gone."

Spock: "Appearently it's called a 'Phantom Dick', ensign..."

McCoy: "You can stop doing that now, Lieutenant -- Mr. Sulu's dick is gone."

Lt: "But I still feel it."

 

[Nerys Myk]

PATIENT: What's the prognosis Doc? Will I live?

MCCOY: No idea. I'm the janitor. Wanna hop off? I gotta wipe this down.

 

[Gertch]

Spock: "Please remind me not to stand so close the next time you have to send a message to the Breakwindians."

 

[Gil T.Azell]

McCoy: "No, I'm sure she doesn't like 'Fisting'."

Uhura was explaing to Spock about her catching Sulu with a Sybian.

McCoy: "Spock this won't hurt a bit"
Spock (grunting) " Could you at least warm up your hands"

 

[M'Sharak]

" ...trying one more, sir... hailing frequencies open! Ohhhhh,
that's the one! I'm picking up good vibrations."

 

[Outpost4]

^ She's givin' me excitations.

McCoy: The procedure is over, Spock. Two D cells and you're back in business.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "Dammit Bones, you can wrap Sulu's birthday present later. I'm having a medical emergency here."

McCoy: "What is it, Jim?"

Kirk: "My brain hurts from trying to come up with captions without sexual connotations"

 

[Triskelion]

^ LV, don't even try!

Why is the walkie-talkie so sticky? Why did the antenna slip out of my fingers? Why are you going to clean it? Why are my fingers tingling? Why is the Captain limping? Why don't you look surprised? Why was the whole bridge crew just here except for Mr Sulu?

All your questions will be answered, son. When you're older. You're cleared for duty.

Why don't you have a changing room?

Cleared for duty, boy.

Man, these asteroids are killin' me!
You knew the risks of space duty, Lieutenant.

New stick?

 

[Outpost4]

McCoy: Damn it, Spock. Cooleddie said fleshlight, not flashlight!

 

[Cakes488]

No Lieutenant Uhura, I will not "do the macarena"

AND/OR

Lieutenant Uhura I shall not put my right foot in, nor my right foot out and I fail to see the logic in shaking it all about.

 

[Mysterion]

McCoy: Yes, yes, I know rock beats scissors! But you can't have any cordrazine!

 

[Tan Ru]

Uhura: I'm sorry Mister Spock, but the Blackberry Support 1-800 number is still busy.
Would you care to try their web site again?

 

[Tan Ru]

Kelley: Ya know, I wouldn't mind Nimoy's incessant humming so much
if he'd only do something besides "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins". Uugghhhh......

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

McCoy: "... and why the hell did you get a 'tramp stamp' in the first place?"

Spock: "It seemed logical at the time."

McCoy: "Wonderful stuff, that Saurian brandy."

 

[Cakes488]

Spock: SHAME.....PAIN....DISGRACE....DISHONOR....
PENETRATION....VIOLATION...

McCoy: Ah..... shut both your holes Spock, the only one having any fun here is Nurse Chapel.

 

[Cakes488]

Leiutenant Uhura when I stated to "assume your positions" I CLEARLY meant your battle positions.