TOS Caption Contest #126 - Propped Up

[Lashmore]

McCoy: "I told you not to enter Sulu's quarters after midnight."

Nurse: "Doctor...I'm detecting something lodged in there.....my god its..."

Sulu: "Oh HELLOOOOOOO...."

(if this has been done, apologies, I only read through the first page of caps)

In the 20th century man found the clitoris...

...by the 23rd century the galaxies finest minds were still conducting tests to discover the ever illusive G-spot.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: Good news, Nurse Chapel. I've discovered that Vulcan males have an inner orgasm -- I call it the V-Spot.

 

[Nerys Myk]

UHURA: Enterprise, whadda ya want?

SPOCK: You do realize that I'm standing beside you.

UHURA: And?

SPOCK: I'm the First Officer.

UHURA: And?

SPOCK: This is a performance review.

UHURA: USS Enterprise, whadda ya want?

 

[Mistral]

Spock: "Doctor, please, I have yearned for this."

McCoy: "Alright, Spock, but you're gonna look a little funny in the shower. The only crew member who had enough extra to qualify as a donor for the ass-transplant was Lt. Uhura."

 

[Cakes488]

Sure Son....sure....you just relax now and we'll "fight the power that be" later.

 

[Tan Ru]

one more.........

Kelley: Take it easy Eddie, it's kinda early in the morning for Bill. . .

Eddie Madden: I know De and I'm sorry. But if he blows that 'brandy line
one more time, I'm gonna lay-out that Canadian muthafugga!

Kelley: meh............

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Spock, you really need to learn when to stop gambling ... Okay, Christine, strap it on and hop on up ..."

Spock, writing:

"Be my Valentine, Miss Uhura ... as you are the only female on board with a vagina rumored large enough to successfully accomodate my crippling bifurcated penis. Signed, your suitor, Mister Spock."

<He hands the card to her, walks away, and looks into his viewer.>

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Captains get to piss wherever they want, Darnell."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

McCoy: "It never ceases to confound me. Why the Vulcan penis is bifurcated, but the anus isn't?"

Spock: "On Vulcan, homosexuality is conducted with a minimum of three partners."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "No, no, Crewman; 'shiv' is a noun. 'Shank' is a verb. You spend enough time in the slammer, you pick up on these things."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

McCoy: "Have you seen my pinky ring, Christine?"

 

[Shatmandu]

<Spock bears down and trumpets out a long, wet fart.>
McCoy: "You did that on purpose."
Spock: "I ... did not."
<A pause, and then Spock lets another one fly.>
McCoy, waving hand: "Cut his local anesthesia by two-thirds, Nurse."
Spock: "Okay, okay, I'll stop. Jeez."
McCoy: "Yeah, 'jeez.' Nasty ass ..."

 

[scottydog]

<Spock bears down and trumpets out a long, wet fart.>
McCoy: "You did that on purpose."
Spock: "I ... did not."
<A pause, and then Spock lets another one fly.>
McCoy, waving hand: "Cut his local anesthesia by two-thirds, Nurse."
Spock: "Okay, okay, I'll stop. Jeez."

McCoy: "For Christ's sake, this blanket wasn't green a minute ago."

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Why do I smell pickles?"

 

[scottydog]

McCoy: "Spock, what's wrong?"

Spock: "Tell... the Captain... to take off... the wig."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Shut up, Spock. It's the only way to cure your father's rectal cancer."

 

[Mysterion]

McCoy - Why Spock, you never told me that was pointed, too!

 

[scottydog]

McCoy: "You pointy-eared half-breed!"

Spock: "Doctor, I will now turn the other cheek."

 

[cooleddie74]

Yet one more senseless, preventable zucchini tragedy aboard a Federation starship.

SPOCK:"Enjoy it while you can, Miss Uhura.

Mister Scott will be repairing your console and fixing the severe vibrations coarsing through it in a matter of days."

 

[cooleddie74]

McCOY:"I'm not even gonna ASK how a bowling pin from the ship's rec alley got in there.

I've had enough surprises in my career."