"Now you run on back to your duty post, Crewman.
I gotta help the Captain with his smack fix."
TOS Caption Contest #126 - Propped Up
- Thread starter Outpost4
- Start date
"Now you run on back to your duty post, Crewman.
I gotta help the Captain with his smack fix."
"Sometimes, son...you gotta let those last chips at the bottom of the Pringles can go."
"So THAT'S where the Crewman's empty Pringles can went!"
McCOY:"A coin?
A duotronic enhancer?
A....a....a snack cracker?"
CREWMAN:"Nope. Sorry, sir. Not even close! Captain...you wanna try guessing?"
McCoy: "Well, maybe if you weren't such an asshole, they wouldn't have put the railroad spike on your chair ..."
McCoy: "Better hurry. Our bald bitch-of-a-Captain has an appointment soon."
McCoy: "The Vulcan novelty store owner could have told me your Whoopie Cushions also have six inch fangs ..."
Spock: "*uurrggh* Doctor, are you using your entire fist?"
McCoy: "It's a routine prostate exam. Shut up and relax."
"Dammit, Christine...
These blasted rice cakes are gonna end up costing LIVES!!"
"Take two and come by in the morning.
And if that don't work? Switch to the left hand and don't be so aggressive."
McCoy: "Sulu slipped you a Roofie."
Chapel: "I sold them to him."
McCoy: "And I taped the marathon cornholing you just took."
Chapel: "Today, your anus got travelled more that the New Holland Tunnel."
McCoy: "Mock emotions again, and I'll put it up on FedTube."
McCoy: "You're pregnant."
Darnell: "..."
Kirk, softly: "What have I done?"
<Spock writes "Please remove her vocal cords, per Spock" and folds it twice.>
Spock: "Take this to confidential Starfleet message Doctor McCoy, would you, Miss Uhura?"
McCOY:"Two rectums, huh?
Explains a lot, don't it?"
Spock: "In a single word Lieutenant? Massengill. You would be doing a service for the entire crew."
Uhura under her breath: "It wouldn't smell like that if I didn't have to service entire crew."
"Please, Miss Uhura.
Lower your leg. Keep them closed.
We do NOT need constant reminders you are currently surfing the Red Warp Bubble."
BONES: Yes, Darnell, you're the father.
KIRK: (muttering) Cheating bitch...
months later...
BONES: Steady, deep breaths.
CHAPEL: I..I've never see a Vulcan give birth before...
***************
SPOCK: Miss Uhura, take this calculator to Engineering.
UHURA: Engineering? What is it?
SPOCK: It's a big room with dilithium crystals, but that's not important right now.
Mr. Spock: Doctor, when you said that you wanted to "rip me a new one", I didn't think you meant it literally.
McCoy: "Let me get this straight, you accidentally sat on a ketchup bottle."
Spock: "That is correct, it was an unfortunate mishap, now if you would be so kind..."
McCoy: "and did you accidentally put a condom on it first?"
Chapel: "Well, good ketchup is expensive, and you don't want to waste it..."
...
...
"What?!"
