TOS Caption Contest #123 - Bend Over

[Gil T.Azell]

Metron: "Captain, I see you also get your hair piece from the same place as I, perhaps there is hope for you yet?"

 

[highlander]

Spock: "I have told you on several occasions Mr. Scott that it is against Starfleet regulations to eat Cheeto's in the engineering department."

 

[highlander]

It was Yeoman Rand's job to "fluff" the Captain before his big date.

 

[highlander]

Rand: "It's my pleasure to help you urinate Captain."
Kirk: "Urinate...if you had bigger tits you'd be a 10."
McCoy: "Zing!!!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kirk: "I can't NOM this -- it's grass. Lieutenant, hover closer..."

Spock: "Now observe Lieutenant as I move my hand closer to yours and our mouths -- you're not Sulu! As you were, ensign."

Scotty: "And after that I just plumb ran out of ideas, so I stuck a wee eight-circle Lego in it."

Spock: "Fascinating. The results?"

Scotty: "It popped right out and fried the circuit. But be damned if it wasn't the most exciting thing that happened down here lately. It was very animated."

Spock: "Indeed."

 

[Outpost4]

McCoy: Don't worry about the drool, yeoman. Just wipe it up. He's been this way ever since Rayna popped a fuse.

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Captain, you did remember to talk to Spock about the horrible comment he made to Yeoman Rand about your double who tried to rape her, right?"
Kirk: "Oh, absolutely. Very stern."
<Rand smiles and leaves. Kirk frowns, shakes his head at McCoy, and makes a 'jerk-off' motion.>

 

[scottydog]

McCoy: "How many lettuce leaves are you going to find down there?"

Rand: "Enough to make my dinner. I'm hoping to find potatoes on the other end tomorrow."

Spock: "It is not my butt suppository. I am bifurcated there as well."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "My God, Jim; you're so drunk that you make David Hasselhoff look sober by comparison."

 

[Rat Boy]

Grignak: "Place you name, logic I name, otherwise fascinating nooooooooooo!"

 

[Hambone]

DOOHAN: It's called a "Jewel of Sound", for a new episode called City on the Edge of Forever. According to the script, I'm dealing drugs on the Enterprise, now. This is my stash.

NIMOY: That was never in the script.

DOOHAN: Yuh-huh, Gene said so.

NIMOY: Gene should worry about his own stash.

DOOHAN: So...I'm not the star of this episode?

NIMOY: I think you need to get off this soundstage once in a while. Go talk to the college engineering students, they really dig you. It might be good for you to get some sun, too...you look like a friggin' ghost.

DOOHAN: ???

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: You've gained a few pounds, Jim. So I had your dietary card changed to salad and bearded calms.
Kirk: What the hell is a bear-- oh, take it off, yeoman.

 

[highlander]

Spock: "I spy with my little eye, something......pink"
Stiles: "Let me guess, Mr Sulu's thong......again."

 

[highlander]

McCoy: "Yeoman, when I said the Captain could use a stiff one. That's not what I had in mind!"
Kirk: "I'm cool with it."

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Yeah, a bib and a drool cup might be a good idea.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Spock: Mr. Stiles, you have left the port side blinker on for the last twelve parsecs.

-or-

Stiles: I can make the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs.
Spock: Parsecs is a unit of measurement not velocity.

 

[Outpost4]

Spock: One more "Sulu is in Stiles" joke, Lieutenant, and I'll confine you to quarters without your new boyfriend.

 

[Gertch]

Spock: "It's okay as long as our stares don't lock."

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "You do realize your B.O. can be smelled down on deck eight?"

 

[M'Sharak]

Stiles' sidelong glance told him Spock was in position at optimum range.
The Vulcan would never know what hit him.