Kirk suffers through yet another "Bring Your Bastard To Work Day".
TOS Caption Contest #120 - Slappy Nude Beer
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Kirk suffers through yet another "Bring Your Bastard To Work Day".
Spock was disappointed that the 2267 edition of Rock Band did not include a Vulcan Harp instrument.
Unlike the others, Spock is clearly unimpressed with Michael Jackson's "Thriller".
Here's to Pon Farr and anal fissures.
McCoy: You know, Mr. Spock, after a few glasses of this stuff, you don't look half bad. Wanna come down to my cabin later?
Shatner: I shall call you Mini-Shat.
McCoy: "Here is to Vomiting all night and then the morning hangover."
Spock: "I have never been able to wake-up in the morning after a new years party."
Because Spock had the headphones on he did not hear the producer say "100$ to the person who who has the most pathetically acted falling down routine."
Peter: "No I have never seen a man nude before, is that a problem?"
Kirk: "It cums with running the ship, are you going to be ready for it?"
Peter: "Yes, My penis is bigger then your penis."
Kirk: "But do you know how to use it?"
Spock totally failed at the Pepto Bismol commercial auditions
For the last contest of 2008, we have something that has never happened before.
I've always been able to pick a winner for each picture. There's always been one caption that's clearly been better than the rest. But not this time. For the Kirk's Awesome! picture, it was a three way tie this week. Even better was that it was the first, second and third wins for these three posters. The first time winner was shivkala, Ward Fowler repeated his win from last week and, in one that's long overdue, it's the third win for John_Picard. You don't know how many times you made the cut but didn't win, JP.
Kirk: "Wha-? You mean to tell me you've never brought a broad home, gone to the bathroom to remove all of your clothes, and returned to the room where she is and feigned surprise that she was there?"
Dayum! I'll have to try harder for 2009. Thanks for the win
McCoy: "I'm in the clear, Spock. Her EPT came back blue."
Spock: "Fascinating."
Spock knew better than to drink the water on Rigel 7, which was notorious for giving visitors, "The Screaming Space Shits".
Kirk: <low voice> "Now listen, you little shit. Get out of my chair, or I'll have my navigator over there shove his fist so far up your ass it'll come out of your throat. Believe me, he'll be slow and enjoying it."
KirK: Kid, your in my seat!
Kid: Yes, I know. I like pissing captains off.
Kirk: *Takes out phaser* Well now I'm REALLY PISSED OFF! TO THE AIRLOCK!
Kid: "Okay, now I'm pissing in your seat."
"Guess Whats On Their Ipods?" 
"Screaming Space Shits"
- Here's mud in yer eye.
- Doctor. I have a superfluous inner eyelid that protects my eyes from foreign particles.
- What's that Spock? I wasn't listening.
Liquid viagara, Spock.
Interesting choice of decanter.
Kirk (thinking while writhing in pain): What's the deal with McCoy's cat legs?
Don't worry, kid. In time you'll figure out what to do with your hands. For now, just...keep them off your crotch.
"Screaming Space Shits"
- Here's mud in yer eye.
- Doctor. I have a superfluous inner eyelid that protects my eyes from foreign particles.
- What's that Spock? I wasn't listening.
Liquid viagara, Spock.
Interesting choice of decanter.
Kirk (thinking while writhing in pain): What's the deal with McCoy's cat legs?
Don't worry, kid. In time you'll figure out what to do with your hands. For now, just...keep them off your crotch.
McCoy: "What I can't understand is, how can you stand there all day with your thumb up your ass?"
Spock: "Statistically, frostbite of the thumb is the biggest killer on Vulcan, and it's both thumbs Doctor. And the fingers too."
Kirk: "Dammit Bones, you were supposed to put new batteries in the Wii-Spock-Controller!"
Captain Kidd: "Hey, busboy, what you doing wasting time, go get me my goddamn cigarettes, and hey Toots, get on subspace and get me my hookers. If they ain't here in ten minutes, I'll just have me a piece of your ass."
Kirk: "Chip of the old block, brings a tear to my eye."
Vulcan humor had notorious side effects...
Kirk: "Ok, Peter, we got you a toy car, a baseball mitt, and command of a starship. Was there anything else you wanted for your birthday?"
Peter: "Any chance you could go for a walk outside?"
"People wonder where I get my inspiration for the caption contests? Well, wonder no more, Mr. Spock!"
