TOS Caption Contest #120 - Slappy Nude Beer

[Alrik]

Kirk thinking: Damn.....and I thought I made Captain young.

 

[cooleddie74]

The visit to planet Angina II was poorly thought out...not to mention extremely uncomfortable.

"Hey....son...

Got any nude holos of your mom?

Well...want some?"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"When I was your age, I had already impregnated no fewer than ten alien women. AND talked two supercomputers into committing suicide!"

 

[Gertch]

Kirk: "Jupiter 2? Never heard of it."


(doesn't he look a little like Billy Mumy there?)

 

[Jptrekker]

Scotty: "Och, me poor wee barins!"

 

[Outpost4]

Spock: "...well, you know, it's totally rad, what Cheetos taste like with Red Bull, like the night me and Benji played with his Ouija board until, like, 4AM, and we got totally scared and screamed and ran and..."

Kirk: Stop it. Ever since they stole his brain, he's been talking like Paris Hilton!

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Kirk (thinking): He could be mine, but something tells me he's Scotty's.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

McCoy: "It's easy Spock. It's just a jump to the left. And then a step to the right."

 

[Rat Boy]

Where will you be when your diarrhea returns?

 

[MANT!]

Hey kid, how about driving a '69 Corvette off a cliff ....

 

[Gertch]

Spock dreaded the overacting when playing cops-n-robbers with the guys.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

One... two... three... let's do the Bat-toosie!

Kid in chair: The name's Wesley, Wesley Crusher.

 

[Neopeius]

"Commodore April, just get back in the transporter, please."

Spock had seen those Japanese reality shows where the girls have to walk around with vibrators in their undies. He wasn't about to be fooled.

 

[Maurice]

McCOY: Rule Four, now this term, I don't want to catch anybody not drinking. Rule Five?
SPOCK: No Poofters?

The prototype TMP belt buckles were not only painful to look at...

KIRK: There's no Dr. Smith here, son. And Spock's the closest thing we've got to a robot.

 

[Rat Boy]

The other caption contest runners complain after Outpost4 beat them to the "Nude Year" pun.

 

[scottydog]

McCoy: "Are your hands ever not behind your back in these caption contests?"

McCoy: "We've... got to... put his brain back.... so that he can get... his hands behind his back...."

Kirk: "I shall call you.... mini-me."

 

[Gertch]

Vulcans will never 'get' Stairway to Heaven.

 

[T'Aerwynd]

Kirk: Would you like to touch my moob?
Kid: How much would you give me?
Kirk: Fifty cents.
Kid: Mmm, I dunno. Looks squishy.
Kirk: Ok, 50 cents and a stick of gum.
Kid: Ok, but only if I can have some candy, too.
Kirk: Done.

 

[Klingon Empire]

KirK: Kid, your in my seat!

Kid: Yes, I know. I like pissing captains off.

Kirk: *Takes out phaser* Well now I'm REALLY PISSED OFF! TO THE AIRLOCK!

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "... because my hands will be too shakey after I do a physical on someone as gross as you, that's why."

On Spock's remote, right next to "Walk Forward", McCoy had inexplicably put a button marked "Play Bag Tag."

Kirk: "Your gerbil? I'm sure it'll turn up."
<Sulu shifts in his chair.>

Kirk: "Because mustaches are for homosexuals or car dealers, that's why. Uh, except for your late father, of course ..."

Spock: "One thing Sarek taught me, gentlemen: never eat from a buffet in a strip joint."

McCoy: "Here's to you, fuckface ... <gulps drink>"