TOS Caption Contest #120 - Slappy Nude Beer
- Thread starter Outpost4
- Start date
Kirk: "Oh, Peter, as my last living relative I'll make sure to take care of you."
Peter: "But I have two brothers."
Kirk: "No you don't. I'll be there for you every step of the way. I'll treat you like a son."
Peter: "But you already have a son."
Kirk: "It's impolite to correct your elders, Son."
Kirk: Now show me on my helmsmen where the good doctor touched you, Petey.
Spock: The charges against you are quite serious, Doctor.
McCoy: Hogwash! Nothing a bit of a drink can't fix.
Spock: Apparently, that's what the young boy is claiming. I believe he used the term, "Jesus Juice."
"Uncle Jim...what's New Vietnam?"
McCOY:"Down the hatch."
SPOCK:"Up your ass."
Some deleted dance sequences from LAUGH-IN were left on the cutting room floor for damn good reasons.
"It's a 2219 vintage, Spock.
Like your stupid haircut."
"Say, have you ever watched a gladiator movie?"
"Sorry Sir, your helmsman already tried that one on me."
Been Done
Atavachron
"Peter...
you like movies about...bare chested Orion slavemasters?"
"To you, Spock.
Only you can turn a five-year mission into a lifetime of endless vegetarian fart jokes."
"It's an old family recipe, Spock. Dates back three hundred years to Old Georgia.
I even fermented it in one of those stupid papier-mache skulls back there to give it flava."
DATELINE U.F.P.
To Catch a Constitution-class Starship Commander
SPOCK:"This...Funky Chicken.
Most illogical. And unentertaining."
"Say, have you ever watched a gladiator movie?"
"Sorry Sir, your helmsman already tried that one on me. Back in August 23 2008, at 05:07 AM"
"Alright! Alright! Ensign.... Vulcan. Yeoman, entry for the Captain's Log, supplementary, Ensign Vulcan, use it more often."
Don't worry, kid. In time you'll figure out what to do with your hands. For now, just...keep them off your crotch.
Kid: No Mister, watch. See, you put the second finger on your inner thigh, then . . .
