Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #570: Happy New Year!

Fish in front: "Well, I'd like to say hi to my mom and dad, my sister Shirley and her husband Norm, my cousin Patsy, and all the guys at the office. You're the best!"
Pulaski: "This is a medical instrument, not a microphone."
Fish in front: "Oh. In that case...ahhhh?"

 

Fish-guy: "What are you doing later?"
Pulaski: "Are you asking me out?"
Fish-guy: "Once you go cold and slimey, you never go back."



Husband: "See, I told you we were going to late to the party."

 

ALIEN: We're Sagittarius, actually...

 

ALIEN: You have many fine, delicious worms on your head, Doctor.

 

ALIEN: I am Ambassador Ghoti.

 

ALIEN: We are most disturbed by this " give a man a fish" parable your culture embraces.

 

DR PULASKI: No doubt about it. Their bodies are ninety percent microplastics.

 

The crew tune into their favorite TV show now that Berlinghoff Rasmussen tied his time travel thingy into their 50" CRT TV.

 

^^there's something fishy about that and it's not the salmon aftertaste...

 

ALIEN: We evolved legs when...er...um...ah....sea levels dropped. Yes. That's it...

 

Meanwhile, on Buck Rogers in the 25th Century...

 

ALIEN: I've got faith
Of the carp.
No one's gonna rend or can me.
I can beach
Any shark.
I can fin everything.
I've got faith.
I've got faith.
Faith of the carp...

 

Picard: Are we being trolled?

 

Fajo (off screen): "And as you can see, I finally have my long sought after prize, the android known as 'Data'."
Assistant: "Looks like his face cover broke when he landed."
Fajo: "Cheap Ferengi android face coverings. I'll just re-adjust it and..." it comes off, "Wesley Crusher?!"

CUT OT:
The Enterprise at warp.
Picard: "Keep it steady at warp 9.99995 and don't stop until we have to power down!"

 

TFT(multiple!)W LH!



Picard: All those Tiger Woods documentaries made the history of golf seem much more interesting.




Yar: Hey, aren't you that guy from the Movie Caption Conest?

T'Jon: I've done other screengrabs you know.




Pulaski: Would you like something to eat? Maybe Fleetwood Mac and cheese?




Riker: Wait, so this ship isn't named after Anne Hathaway?




MC Hammer Pants Alien: Ah, the rarest and more difficult to get item in his collection. The script for the Two Kirks version of Star Trek XIV...

 

T'Jon: You are out of time.
Yar: What do you mean, we're ahead of schedule.
T'Jon: No, chronologically, you are out of time. You've already been killed by an oil slick.
Yar: When?
T'Jon: I suggest you wave goodbye very soon.



Antedean 1: Dog biscuits are made for dogs, and yet fish cakes are made from fish? Next you'll be telling me they come from a recipe book called How to Serve Man.



Riker: Don't tell me. Pakleds have taken over the Enterprise.



Varria: Alright, time for the tickle test.

 

Jane Hathaway: "Chief!"
Drysdale: "Yes Miss Hathway, he really means Anne, not you."
Jane: ""

 

Male Alien: This is why humans are no good for threesomes.

Female Alien: Why do they just lay there? Are they really that selfish?

 

Captain's Personal Log: Professor Mesmer's hypnotism video appears to be working on the senior staff. When we next get a call from Lwaxana Troi, I will make them all act like chickens.

 

FISH: Captain Pike reporting for duty. I'm assuming command of this vessel.