Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #570: Happy New Year!

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Fish in front: "Well, I'd like to say hi to my mom and dad, my sister Shirley and her husband Norm, my cousin Patsy, and all the guys at the office. You're the best!"
Pulaski: "This is a medical instrument, not a microphone."
Fish in front: "Oh. In that case...ahhhh?"

 

[Tenacity]

Fish-guy: "What are you doing later?"
Pulaski: "Are you asking me out?"
Fish-guy: "Once you go cold and slimey, you never go back."

Husband: "See, I told you we were going to late to the party."

 

[IMC Headquarters]

ALIEN: We're Sagittarius, actually...

 

[IMC Headquarters]

ALIEN: You have many fine, delicious worms on your head, Doctor.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

ALIEN: I am Ambassador Ghoti.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

ALIEN: We are most disturbed by this " give a man a fish" parable your culture embraces.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

DR PULASKI: No doubt about it. Their bodies are ninety percent microplastics.

 

[Qonundrum]

The crew tune into their favorite TV show now that Berlinghoff Rasmussen tied his time travel thingy into their 50" CRT TV.

 

[Qonundrum]

DR PULASKI: No doubt about it. Their bodies are ninety percent microplastics.

^^there's something fishy about that and it's not the salmon aftertaste...

 

[IMC Headquarters]

ALIEN: We evolved legs when...er...um...ah....sea levels dropped. Yes. That's it...

 

[IMC Headquarters]

Meanwhile, on Buck Rogers in the 25th Century...

 

[IMC Headquarters]

ALIEN: I've got faith
Of the carp.
No one's gonna rend or can me.
I can beach
Any shark.
I can fin everything.
I've got faith.
I've got faith.
Faith of the carp...

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Picard: Are we being trolled?

 

[tharpdevenport]

Fajo (off screen): "And as you can see, I finally have my long sought after prize, the android known as 'Data'."
Assistant: "Looks like his face cover broke when he landed."
Fajo: "Cheap Ferengi android face coverings. I'll just re-adjust it and..." it comes off, "Wesley Crusher?!"

CUT OT:
The Enterprise at warp.
Picard: "Keep it steady at warp 9.99995 and don't stop until we have to power down!"

 

[inflatabledalek]

TFT(multiple!)W LH!

Picard: All those Tiger Woods documentaries made the history of golf seem much more interesting.

Yar: Hey, aren't you that guy from the Movie Caption Conest?

T'Jon: I've done other screengrabs you know.

Pulaski: Would you like something to eat? Maybe Fleetwood Mac and cheese?

Riker: Wait, so this ship isn't named after Anne Hathaway?

MC Hammer Pants Alien: Ah, the rarest and more difficult to get item in his collection. The script for the Two Kirks version of Star Trek XIV...

 

[Mr Soak]

T'Jon: You are out of time.
Yar: What do you mean, we're ahead of schedule.
T'Jon: No, chronologically, you are out of time. You've already been killed by an oil slick.
Yar: When?
T'Jon: I suggest you wave goodbye very soon.

Antedean 1: Dog biscuits are made for dogs, and yet fish cakes are made from fish? Next you'll be telling me they come from a recipe book called How to Serve Man.

Riker: Don't tell me. Pakleds have taken over the Enterprise.

Varria: Alright, time for the tickle test.

 

[Qonundrum]

Riker: Wait, so this ship isn't named after Anne Hathaway?

Jane Hathaway: "Chief!"
Drysdale: "Yes Miss Hathway, he really means Anne, not you."
Jane: ""

 

[Doc Mugatu]

Male Alien: This is why humans are no good for threesomes.

Female Alien: Why do they just lay there? Are they really that selfish?

 

[Mr Soak]

Captain's Personal Log: Professor Mesmer's hypnotism video appears to be working on the senior staff. When we next get a call from Lwaxana Troi, I will make them all act like chickens.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

FISH: Captain Pike reporting for duty. I'm assuming command of this vessel.