Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #556: ANGER!

[Captain Crow]

Worf: Take your crap harmonica and banjo act somewhere else.

Picard: One to beam up.

Faint Voice in Distance: FORE!

[comic beat]

[Sound of ball hitting Picard as transport begins]

Picard: OH FUCK! RIGHT IN ME KNACKERS!

[Picard fades out]

 

[Orac]

Worf: You smell like fish.
Mendon: Why, thank you.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Worf: "Did you just say: 'That's a lot of fish'?"
Mendon: "Ahhh..."
worf: "We DO NOT use that movie quote on this ship; off the Brig with you!"

 

[Tenacity]

Troi: I need a new pump for my jacuzzi, and I know just where to get one.

 

[shivkala]

Riker: Commander's Log--I had intended to escape before the Captain started one of his lectures, but these damned uniforms are so restrictive. Damn, I'm stuck here. Better make the best of it, then.

Mendon: Do you even vape, Bro?

Troi: I'm sick of always getting the bad plotlines where some alien has influence over me!

Picard: What if we have a ghost who seduced Beverly's grandmother influence her?

Troi: That's a stupid idea!

Data: No one wants to hear about how you've updated your privacy policy!

Picard: Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Geeks: Wrong franchise!

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: But I'm Team Jacob!!!!!

 

[Twilight Phoenix]

Deanna : what the hell is happening to Data ?
Geordi : mmh...well he asked me to install the emotion chip...
Deanna : ...and ???
Geordi : and we began talking about Lore.
Deanna : ah. So that explains the punching ball.
Geordi : I think he reacts pretty well, actually.

 

[Jedman67]

GUYBRUSH THREEPWOOD: "I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle!"
WORF: "I hope now you've learned to stop picking your nose."

 

[Noname Given]

HD Editor: "The first attempts to just upscale TNG from standard definition (480P ) resolution to HD (720P/1080P) met with limited success."

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Data soon regretted writing his latest poem: "Ode to 'Ode to Spot'".

 

[tharpdevenport]

Data: Reading the screen, "'Windows 3069 has performed an illegal operation and has shut down'. What? All I did was use Microsoft Word. No, no, NO!!!"

 

[Finn]

Second Officer's Log; My latest experiment was a success. After a night of heavy drinking in Ten Forward and the holodeck, I'm having a hell of a hangover as I sit here at my station on the bridge. Just now, I thought I saw Lore and attacked my reflection.

 

[Mojochi]

Riker: You do know what a #1 is to Americans, right?

Worf: No smoking

Picard: All I said was a woman your age shouldn't show so much cleavage

Android domestic abuse

Picard: BUT JAMAHARON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Honorable Ensign]

Klingons decide captaincy by killing, but Starfleet does it with staring contests!

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Riker does his famous "hangdog Paul Drake" impression.

 

[inflatabledalek]

Riker: Captain, we've got a serious emergency and have to act quickly before...

whoa, this is plastic?!

Worf: Non regulation high collars to give the make up artist an easier job are without honour!

Captain's Personal Log: You'd think by now we'd have realised the second anyone started acting a bit odd, that they're possessed by some evil force and we'd act quickly to stop it before things got out of hand. But noooooo...

Data: Twitch has gone down right before the Doctor Who live stream reached "LONDON 1965!", this is most vexing.

Picard: O'Brien! I'm so sending you to the worst assignment I can think of after this!

 

[Nerys Myk]

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "Careful, number one, I just had that crescent poli ... never mind."

 

[Drob]

Mendon: It's for my glaucoma.

Picard: The bannister is not a toy Will. Stop sliding or parkour’ing over it. It’s leaving marks!

 

[Drob]

A fistful of Datas -face.

Riker: What about here? we could stick a workstation here and re-station Data.
Picard: Seems a little arkward.
Riker: Nah, I’ll get Geordi to shorten a leg & arm, it’ll be fine.
Picard: What would shortening Geordis appendages do?
<several hours later…>
Riker: It’s pronounced Feng Shui!